Episode 5 – A Tiger’s Tale of Finding Home
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Full Transcript (Note: Transcribed via AI, may contain errors)
Jesse Lin 0:14
Hey there, I’m Jesse Lin.
Angela Lin 0:15
And I’m Angela Lin, and welcome to another episode of but where are you really from?
Jesse Lin 0:21
So this week, we’re going to have a little discussion around a new Netflix movie called Tiger tail, directed by writer and director Alan Yang, who I think was really famous for capturing this on the episode parents in master of none. So this movie is really about the experience of a Taiwanese immigrant and kind of all of the hopes and dreams he left behind when he immigrated to the US. So we’re definitely going to get into some of the specific plot points and what happens in movies. So big spoiler alert right now. And why do we want to cover it? Angela?
Angela Lin 1:04
Yeah, we thought it was really important to cover for two main reasons. One, I think we have a, we had a personal interest in covering it because like Jesse and I have said, We’re both Taiwanese American, and the movie is loosely based on Ellen’s father’s experience. So it’s like, supporting a movie about a familiar ish story that we can relate to just based on our on our own families. And also from a not just us standpoint, in general, I think it’s important for Asian Americans to be making this kind of content watching and supporting this kind of content. Now, we’re in a new age where Asians are being represented more given more opportunities to show their voice and tell their stories in mass media. And so it’s really important to Shine a light as much as possible on these stories and give it that halo effect that it deserves. So that’s why we wanted to cover it. The way that we wanted to talk about Tiger tail as not just as a kind of subjective review of like, did we like it? Did we not like it? We thought that the most productive way to talk about this movie was more in terms of what are some of the big themes that and topics that they highlighted within the movie? And how do those resonate with us based on similar experiences that either we have had or parents have had, and tying that together so that it builds on what we watched?
Jesse Lin 2:37
Yeah. So I think one of the first things that’s really noteworthy about this particular movie is that it comes from the perspective of an immigrant, specifically a Taiwanese immigrant versus a lot of other movies and media out there are really about kind of the first generation child or Asian Americans, or even a step past that where you just have Asian American actress count And kind of generic roles that don’t have a story about their ethnic backgrounds or their cultures. And so this is a really interesting refreshing step back to look at a story about someone who immigrated from Taiwan, and to tell a story that very few people have heard. And I think a lot of people will feel that when I say that, because even for myself and Angela, we only very recently asked our parents about their experiences coming here and what they left behind and what their lives were like. It’s not something that they voluntarily put out there. So this is the kind of story that is really rare to hear.
Angela Lin 3:36
Yeah, I think one of the most interesting things coming out of this movie is this concept of our immigrant parents having entire lives that we didn’t know about, like they were once young too, and they also have struggles and really rich experiences in very different contexts than we did. And I think because of a lot of what we’ve discussed previously about Trying to like hide your emotions and not showing too much of your cards out into the public. I think our parents just generally don’t like go about talking about their their lives unless we care to ask. Right. So based on your recent talk with your parents, what’s the most interesting thing you didn’t know about their past life?
Jesse Lin 4:23
Most of the things I feel like it’s not like trying to read a book. It’s almost like a interrogation with a not very interested person who doesn’t want to be there. In a sense, like, Oh, I didn’t know. I was here I thought, but like, whatever. So usually, the information I get out of my parents is pretty limited because I have to ask them very probing questions really hard to have a continued conversation about like what actually happened in their lives.
Angela Lin 4:54
That’s interesting. Your parents are probably more similar to my mom. When I asked Her stuff, she was willing to answer my questions but she didn’t color in additional areas I didn’t ask about versus My dad is really funny because he actually in general is like fairly strong and silent type like the, like the father kind of in the movie in the tiger tail movie, but when you do get them talking is like quite the storyteller. It’s hard to get them to stop. And one of the most interesting fun facts that he told me was when he was a kid, he went to Catholic kindergarten, because at the time, they were out in like, you know, rural Taiwan and there wasn’t free education or caretaking for kids of that age. And when missionaries came to Taiwan and they started trying to get people you know, converted to Catholicism, one of the things they did was set up kindergartens and so my dad attended one of those, and it’s super funny because he’s like, I still Remember, like all all the prayers to marry and like when I go into a Catholic church today I can still like sing like, Latin song and whatever. But he said he went because you know, similar to the movie integrity already, like our parents going away poorer than we were, he was like, Yeah, a big reason I went is because every week they gave us like a free bag of corn meal or like grain or rice or something got like we could take home.
Jesse Lin 6:29
Yeah, what I bought from the movie is kind of how I feel about the conversations with our parents. Because I think throughout the movie, the main character is really struggling with how to reconcile the different parts of his life, and then also how to how to like tell the story to someone, or if it even matters, he says to the fact of you know, even if I told you, what would it have affected what would have changed, and I feel that a lot of the times in the conversation With my parents because I feel like they’re thinking like, well, what are you trying to understand from it? And like, if I tell you like, you know, what does it matter anyways? It’s very much a cultural thing because like, even as a little kid, one of the main things that his grandmother tells him is like to not cry, to not feel emotions about it. You know, it’s not really even if you do feel emotions, even if you do cry, like what good is that gonna do you anyways?
Angela Lin 7:26
You’re not rewarded for showing emotion or vulnerability. Yeah,
Jesse Lin 7:32
yeah. In a way. Makes sense, right? Like, I feel like it’s a very different world where there’s really not space for that in the sense because you’re so busy trying to just make your life work out that like, you don’t really have time to like sit and stew and ponder those things, which is kind of really interesting. And you see it play out throughout the entire movie where they kind of just accept the situation and move on. And they don’t really think about what could be their options. When The main character leaves, there was no real exploration of how he could have done that there or why he had to go to American. And the same with not communicating the fact that he was leaving with the girl that he was in love with. Right? Like, in retrospect, we see that he says, you know, again, what could it would it have done, but it’s very pointed when she responds, she’s like, well, we’ll never we’re never going to know now because it’s like 4050 years later down the road, like it’s way too late to revisit that now. But at the time, there could have been other options. And they just, there was no moment to sit and contemplate what you could have done in the situation. And instead, there was just kind of like immediate, let’s just go forward in, you know, whatever direction I’m already moving.
Angela Lin 8:47
I feel like that that has a lot to do with the sense of duty and like the expectations that people have a view because I think those kinds of decisions come from more You actually believing that you probably don’t have many options. And to be fair back in like, old time, Taiwan there probably weren’t that many options. I saw the like, really poor living quarters that they were living in. I could see it from that and but I could also see it as just like he was the only man of the family, right? It was like him and his mom, so I could see him running through his head, like, I’m the man here I’m supposed to provide. And the only logical way that I can see doing that is to take advantage of this opportunity that’s been given to me to go to America because like, if anyone’s going to do something big here and help us change the course of our future it’s me and that’s my responsibility, you know, regardless of if that makes me happy or not.
Jesse Lin 9:48
Yeah, well, it’s not spoken like clearly in the movie. I definitely have that sense as well. Like after there was that like small incident at the factory with his mom, I think he really like I don’t know if like woke up or have like a Come to Jesus moment. But he had that moment where he was like, okay, like I have to, I have to take charge and I have to like, Get her out of here.
Angela Lin 10:07
I think tied to duty that he had to fulfill one of the biggest duties he fulfilled in the movie was marrying someone that he had no feelings for. I thought it was really interesting that they showed this because I do feel like in our parents generation, and before that the idea of marriage was not necessarily based on love. Like it was a lot to do with how appropriately matched you guys were and thereby what expectations your parents had for you for the type of person you would marry at, like what social status and like, what kind of future prospects would you guys have together? They know in Chinese, there’s that idiom. Who, right like your your two front doors or whatever match like that. That’s like literally So there is always there was always a sense of obligation and expectation tied marriage that it was not just for like romance and whatnot. That was really interesting to me because I really do feel like a lot of elements were in play probably for like my parents deciding to get married, and I’m sure they had affection for each other. But like, I doubt that was like the only reason they got married.
Jesse Lin 11:25
I think we tend to forget that marriage for Love is like a relatively new thing. And for the most part across the world, and even now, a lot of if not most marriages are done for some kind of like economically beneficial reason that improves the livelihood of both parties or somehow improves the livelihood of at least one party and I think it’s also really interesting because I’ve never asked necessarily my parents like how they met like if they did fall in love, I know for sure that they grew up in the same local Township. So they must have like known each other in passing and But I haven’t really asked that story. But the movie I think there’s some really good scenes in it where they describe this this like matching of unknown people. Like when the main character’s wife meets her new Mandarin speaking friend in New York, and she’s, she’s like complaining, she’s like, you know, I don’t have anything in common with this man that I just married and play was like, Well, once you’ve been married with him enough years, that’s your commonality, like you grow together, and that becomes what ties you together. And I think that’s true for even relationships born out of love, like it takes like time and nurturing and making decisions where you prioritize the other person so that you can grow that kind of love. That being said, it is very, very different from like, our current situation and how we approach like relationships and stuff. It’s weird because like, my parents didn’t really talk to me about relationships and stuff even back before they knew I was gay, like they never really asked about like girls or anything. And it’s just like one of those things that was just not discussed.
Angela Lin 13:00
We’re gonna have to break this out into a separate episode. I think there’s a lot more to be said around the topic of like love and relationships and marriage and all that stuff. Well, so we’re talking about this overarching theme of sacrifice. One of the most poignant scenes of the movie for me was when he and his new wife move into their dingy new New York apartment with just one suitcase each in their hand and realizing they had just moved their entire lives and everyone they knew were left behind and they’re now just alone in this like New World, but they don’t know anything. Oh, no, the language. That scene was really, really powerful for me because it helps me imagine what it might have been like for my parents when they moved here. I remember when I was growing up, my mom would drop me off at Montessori where I did preschool. And then across the The street she went to what she called adult school where they taught English. Yeah, English classes while I was doing preschool. And like I always took that for granted, but it must have been so scary and intimidating as like a grown adult who has like lived a whole life ready to move somewhere that you don’t know anything or how to communicate with anyone and just like put yourself in a situation where you have to thrive. It’s gave me like a new respect for them for sure.
Jesse Lin 14:30
Definitely. And I do want to talk about kind of the flip side though, because in the movie, a lot of things are given up to pursue this life in the new world. But I also feel like in a sense that nobody’s like actually asked of him to do this. And in fact, at that there’s a point where you have a conversation with his mom and he’s like, I’m ready to bring you over everything SAT. She’s like, Who told you I wanted to come? I’m personally I’m very happy here like I’m used to my life here. I’m not going to come So he’s kind of taken this burden on himself without even making certain This is what the other person wanted. So there’s also the flip side of that, where you’re so mired in the selfishness of this is a big sacrifice that you made, but then you’re kind of like expect the world to give back to you, or the people around you to give you some kind of deference for the kind of trials that you’re going through. And that’s not necessarily fair as well for all other people in his life.
Angela Lin 15:29
You seem to have a lot of passion around this, is this hitting close to home?
Jesse Lin 15:34
I do feel like I had a lot of pressure on my parents growing up in the sense that they’re like, You’re our only child and you know, you can only count on you and we didn’t have all the advantages that you did growing up and I’m grateful for all that but you never know how the wheel turns like if they hadn’t left and I was born there like would things have been so much worse, like would they have been better like we Don’t really know. And it feels weird saying this because I wasn’t around when they made the decision. But it’s not like I made the decision. Like, we must go for my future because I will be more successful here, even though that’s more than likely true based off of salaries at work and all that over there. But it’s still one of those things where they’re like, we paid this fair basically, for you to make it here. And that pressure becomes shifted onto me, even though it’s not something that I necessarily asked or demanded or wanted.
Angela Lin 16:31
Yeah, oh my god, that rings so true to me, because in another world of our lives, like love lives when I was growing up, and like my parents had put a lot of pressure on me because they really wanted me to end up with a Taiwanese boy who could speak Mandarin, which is like, okay, probability is quite low there and like the debate that we would always have was they put that kind of expectation on me like, will only accept This kind of a person, and my brother and I would fight back and he was kind of like, why did you guys bring her here though? Like, why? If you really wanted her to, like, live this kind of life, he should have just left us in Taiwan because everyone there is when he’s in speaks Mandarin like you’re asking for something that’s like, way harder to accomplish here where like he’s meeting all different kinds of people and like, all these invisible expectations and pressure put on me because like you’re saying, of the sacrifice that they made without us requesting they make that sacrifice because we weren’t around to have asked them to do that.
Jesse Lin 17:38
Yeah, why is it Do you think that they want somebody who has those characteristics
Angela Lin 17:44
I mean, I i understand it now because after having lived in Japan for the two and a half months or whatever, and not speaking any Japanese, I can very much understand now and empathize with my mom where she was really pushing like, I just really want to be able to have like real conversations with your husband, and like his family and whatever. And it’s difficult to do that when we don’t have like the common tongue. So
Jesse Lin 18:11
yeah, I can definitely see how like the language barrier could be like a huge issue. You also see it play out in the movie where you know the main character his wife is like so she can’t speak English. She’s so bored because she’s left at home every day that she goes to the laundromat to people watch just as she’s as she said, it’s just the only moments of the day where she can actually go meet new people and she is obviously the only person that she ends up being able to speak to there is some other Chinese lady who somehow magically speaks Mandarin and became a friend.
Angela Lin 18:41
So I thought it was interesting that they used three different languages in the movies so they didn’t Taiwanese quite a bit which was like such a throwback because the only person who really spoke it all the time was my grandma who passed away when I was in middle school, so I haven’t really like heard it consistently. Since then. time in my life but I thought it was really interesting when they were contrast in like the main character’s mom speaking only Taiwanese against him like he started in Taiwanese as a kid and then as he grew up, he like shed that in essence, right and try to like blend in with everyone else and started speaking Mandarin. And you could always kind of feel that the mother was like a bit on the outside of society because she only spoke Taiwanese, it was kind of implied that like everyone else’s speaking Mandarin and I could just feel that she was like choosing and also not choosing to like stand apart from the rest and I felt I felt some sadness there. Yeah,
Jesse Lin 19:39
as you said, though, that she did make a choice. There’s like a lot of pride in that that she’s like, I speak Taiwanese. And that’s the only thing that I speak in like you mentioned your You said your your grandparents only spoke Taiwanese. And it was the same for my, my grandma, my dad’s side as well. She only spoke to me in Taiwanese.
Angela Lin 19:56
at a certain age you’re like I’m too old for this. I don’t care like I’m not I’m gonna I’m not going to learn a whole lot of people can understand me, which props to my dad because I think I told you this but like after I asked him more about his life, I’m like, at what point did you learn Mandarin and Taiwanese because he he’s haka, so he and his family and grew up speaking haka, Kojak was a totally different dialect that I do not speak at all. And he was like, yeah, and elementary school, basically, they sort of like forcing us to speak Mandarin across the board so that you could like, integrate better with everyone else. And then he didn’t learn Taiwanese until he was like in college or graduating from college and was living in Taipei and just necessity.
Jesse Lin 20:42
Has he ever spoken it to you? I’m just curious. Ke Jia Hua [Hakkanese].
Angela Lin 20:45
Ah, well, he doesn’t really speak to me, but he he and his family, like his side of the family all speak the Ke Jia Hua to each other. So like when they’re together, I’m like, What the hell is happening?
Jesse Lin 20:56
I’m really curious. I wanna I want to hear what that sounds I don’t think it’s super different.
Angela Lin 21:01
Like the only words I know are uncle, because I don’t call I don’t call my uncles on my dad’s side in Mandarin. I call them ah ba, which is which means uncle. Yeah. Yeah, that’s all I know. Pretty shameful.
Angela Lin 21:22
Okay, let’s talk about some other big themes. I think one thing that we both gravitated towards was that they very successfully showed our immigrant parents showing love in like really untraditional or on Western ways because I think there were a lot of moments in the movie where various parents of various characters were showing love to their sons or daughters or whatever, but like, it wasn’t in by saying I love you or by hugging them or anything like that. Is there like a scene in the movie that really stood out to you? Where were they successfully showed that as being like a really correct reflection of the way that we’ve, we’ve received love from our parents do.
Jesse Lin 22:08
For me, it’s the scene where the daughter in the movie Angela fucked up for lack of a better term during her piano recital. And it’s like so real because I’ve literally have done that where I was at a dinner table and I was like, I just forgot this part. I’m just gonna keep going. And after the recital, she’s like crying in the car, like she’s already probably really disappointed herself. And the main character is just like parading her. I don’t want to say it’s a kind of love to me. It’s more like he’s trying to teach her like a cautionary tale, in a sense, like, he’s trying to be like, this is my experience. Crying is useless, and like, kind of transmit that to her. But you can see it’s quite difficult because, you know, a child does not necessarily cannot necessarily take that perspective and understand that like, Oh, you know, he’s cautioning me, and definitely the same resonated hopefully With every single Asian American who watched it because at some point, your own expectation or self is crushed, even your parents are like, Alright, let me just like run you over a couple times on top of that.
Angela Lin 23:10
I do, I do feel like the concept of giving a hard lesson, I do think is a way that immigrant parents try to show love. And it’s very traditional, but like, it’s their way. It’s a way that they see to help you get past a hard time because they’re not dwelling on the like, sad emotions that you’re feeling the time they’re thinking about, like, what can I give you in those moments so that you can surpass it and like, do better in the future. Asians are not brought up to like, know how to emotionally support other people.
Jesse Lin 23:46
I do understand what you’re saying. Actually, it reminds me of this time, my dad and I got into like this huge argument about academics. I’m like, how I wasn’t doing as good as he wanted, like, I got stopped I was like crying. I was like, I don’t understand why you guys continue to put me under so much pressure, like I’m trying to do the best that I can. And you know, it’s never enough. And I think at the end of it, he’s like, look like, I’m just telling you this because you only have yourself and you’re the only person that you can count on because mom and myself, we can’t do anything for you like this is this is the extent of how we can help you. You have to be exceptional because there was no one else to fall back on. In retrospect, looking back on that moment, I was like, Okay, I understand. I understand what he’s trying to tell me here. And it was very true. But at the moment in time, it seemed just like undue pressure to put on somebody.
Angela Lin 24:38
I feel like it’s super interesting you brought that up that your dad said that because he probably wouldn’t have that kind of mentality if he did not move to a brand new country where he felt super alone and learn that lesson himself. Overall, I feel like the movie and covered a ton of different topics and themes that like really hammered home for me Just based on like the experiences that I’ve had or that I imagine my parents had when they moved here. So I think it’s a super important movie to have come out and to, like, start telling these untold stories, immigrant stories that just like haven’t seen enough of
Jesse Lin 25:17
I agree. And I think it’s a really nice piece, like a really comfortable way to approach talking to your parents about the subject of how they grew up if it is uncomfortable for you.
Angela Lin 25:27
Yeah, actually, that’s a great point. Both of our parents took us up on a movie, and it’s super approachable for them, assuming your parents are Chinese speaking people, but like, half of the movie or more is in Chinese. So like, it’s a lower barrier for them to like overcome to get them to watch a movie. And it’s an interesting way for you to have parallel conversations with them about their experiences, if that’s something that you haven’t had the chance to talk about.
Jesse Lin 26:02
Welcome to our closing fortune cookie segment. As always, if you liked this week’s episode, or you watch the movie by our Yang Tiger tail, please do write us. Let us know what you thought about our thoughts about the movie. And also if you watched movie if you had any thoughts about as well or any scenes that you really connected with, let us know. Email us at telluswhereyourefrom@gmail.com that’s y-o-u-r-e
Angela Lin 26:30
Let us know because then we’ll share it on a future episode. That’s really what we love to be doing moving forward. Well, okay, so are something fun to close this week we wanted to share our favorite scenes from the movie Tiger tail and why my favorite scene is definitely when the main character as his old self is sad and alone in his house and he discovers his own flame on Facebook and rekindles with her over Facebook Messenger, it was just the funniest fucking scene because it was such a boomer move, like to find someone who could reconnect via Facebook that’s like, we don’t do that anymore. But also that he was just like, not totally fabricating what he was doing every day. But he basically was doing the same shit every day like gardening, like reading a book, like logging back on Facebook to see what she wrote, and trying to like paint himself as a more interesting person. It was just so funny. I loved it.
Jesse Lin 27:37
It’s a very old Asian man thing to do. All of our parents are on Facebook, and they’re always tagging like themselves and other friends and like random things like puppies and flowers and yeah.
Angela Lin 27:50
What about you?
Jesse Lin 27:51
Yeah, so my favorite scene in the movie has a lot of dramatic tension because I love drama when it doesn’t involve me. So basically is when the main character and his wife break up. He like comes back home. She’s like sitting on the couch. And he immediately like critiques or for something about like, the shrubs being cut the wrong way. And she was like, well, you’re never home. So how do I know how you want your frickin shrubs cut? And then she just proceeds to eat this arrayed him by telling him that she’s leaving, because she’s like, I’ve had it like, I’ve only stayed for the kids say, You treat me like the help. Like, she basically has like, I don’t know, 30 years of pent up anger and she’s just let him have it. And then I think there was that moment where she’s like, you’re just such an emotionally damaged person. I can’t be with you and I hope I never see you again. And then she leaves and I was like, snap, snap, snap, snap. I was just waiting for her to be like goodbye. I’m not gonna deal with this anymore. So that was my favorite. Same because she like it’s mostly about him, but you see some character development from her. And at the end, I think you actually see that she’s like a professor or something. So she’s done really well for herself. So like, she kind of moved on and did her own thing. So I’m like,
Angela Lin 29:13
She got a new husband
Jesse Lin 29:15
she got a new husband like, she’s got a whole new life. So I’m like, I will support this strong, independent woman to do her thing. Bringing the most drama to the movie. Love it.
Angela Lin 29:27
Well, okay, well, gonna keep plugging ourselves. If you love this podcast, we would really, really appreciate it if you continue to support us by liking us following us on our various accounts, and subscribing. So subscribing is really important on Spotify, Apple podcasts, wherever you’re listening to us. That’s really how we are gonna make sure we continue giving you the newest episodes.
Jesse Lin 29:55
Like, subscribe.
Angela Lin 29:57
Yes, yes, yes. And as always, we aim to come out with a new episode or weekly so come back to us next week for a brand new episode. Until then…
All 30:09
Zai jian bitches!