Angela Lin 0:19
Today is Thanksgiving, or is it the day? Anyways, it’s Thanksgiving weekend. And we felt like it was an important episode to talk about all the things that we’re grateful for today and this year in general. But before we can even get into the right mindset to be grateful for anything, I think we need to just we owe it to ourselves to bitchfest, a little bit about the shit show that 2020 was.
Full Transcript (Note: Transcribed via AI, may contain errors)
Jesse Lin 0:52
Well, obviously, the biggest thing that ever that’s on everybody’s mind is COVID. As a result of that, and everyone being like, at home and stuff, everything has just gotten like much harder, like working with people, it’s much harder. It’s like, a drag on the soul. Sometimes, I like to just like tried to be patient in your communication and like understanding and all this crap. And I’m like, I don’t have an ounce of patience left for myself, let alone anybody else that I talk to so.
Angela Lin 1:25
I feel like there’s a third two sides to that working from home, like in our personal relationships piece of it, because I kind of feel like, like, would you be less annoyed in the office with these people? Because I feel like there’s some intolerance in general of some dumb behavior across the board, regardless of the format that it’s happening in. Because for me the like, productivity kind of depends on the team. And like the efficiency and communication depends on the team, like my team is pretty good about just like being super transparent about what’s happening, what you need, and like being on top of your shit, but I can see how if you like, don’t trust your team, or they’re not really reliable, and then they are hard to get ahold of, and I guess that would suck.
Jesse Lin 2:16
Yeah, I just mean like in an office, I can normally bitch someone out loudly because they don’t like like some people don’t sit in the office. So I’m like, I could just be like blah blah blah and my commiserate with people.
Angela Lin 2:28
You miss the water cooler stuff. While I’m grateful I’m gonna move into a grateful but we’ll jump back to commiserating, but since we’re on the topic of working I’m grateful for being off camera for the majority of my calls. Since quarantine, I think we like we had a wave where everyone the company the first two months was like, all camera all the time so that we can feel like we were still a community. And then after a while everyone just like one by one every camera off. We’re like, forget this, I want to be my PJs. I don’t want to deal with this. And I’m grateful that that ended up happening because my like side I am like resting bitchface is a lot to handle for a lot of people and like most my co workers don’t know much about it right now. Because they haven’t had to see it. I had it turned on the other day. My co workers screenshot me she was like, Oh, girl, I was like, this is what I look like all the time you just don’t know.
Jesse Lin 3:30
Well, I think that that’s one of the things that I’m talking about. That’s missing because like once you’re away from people at for a while, you’re like mannerisms or idiosyncrasies like what you’re talking about, I would be like, Oh, that’s just Angela being Angela like in real life. But then like after a while, I’m like, are you just like, are you just shitting on me right now? Can’t tell anymore, right? Like, let’s say it was the same thing where you’re just like talking to me to other people. I’m like, wait, like, Are you being sincere here? Are you being like sarcastic? And then I’m like, if you’re being sarcastic it’s very rude.
Angela Lin 4:05
That’s fair. Well, in general, I feel like this pandemic is has fucked with everyone’s like, social abilities. Because we’re like not used to being around humans anymore. Like I can’t really fathom the next like, party I will be going to. There is a bridal shower that I will be going to soon and I don’t know any of the people besides the bride so I’m going to be like extra extra awkward. Plus mask on awkward.
Jesse Lin 5:19
Well, I started trialing out going back to the gym recently. And literally, like the first handshake that I’ve ever given up, like, since this, I made it the gym, and then I was like, sweating about it. Because I went, it was like such an, like, I didn’t know what to do, like, so like, I was sharing something with someone. And we were like, walking away swapping, you know, so I was like, you know, I was doing my thing. And I was like, thank you for being so cool. And like keeping your distance while I’m doing my stuff in swapping. And then the like guy introduced himself and like held hands, shake it. And I was like, I don’t know what to do, like. And then I just like I did it. Because I was like, I don’t want to be like super rude. But then immediately afterwards, I ran over to like, the sanitizing station. But it’s gonna be like that for a while where you’re like, wait, I don’t know if I should like, uh oh. Well, okay, let’s talk about, you know, let’s talk about some of the things that we do appreciate in 2020. Because I think with all of the bad things that have come up, it’s also highlighted a lot of things that are good in our lives that maybe like we just didn’t notice or appreciate because there’s just like so, you know, before there was just so much stuff happening. And it’s really hard to slow down and evaluate your life as it is to try to like pick out the things that are good about it. So I think I will start and say like, this year, I am grateful for the additional time at home that coronavirus has given me because now I’m like I feel more comfortable being by myself and not feeling down that I’m not around other people. And I can spend quality time with Juniper and watching TV and just, you know, doing all the little things that I was doing before. But now, instead of doing it out of like desperation or boredom, I’m actually just kind of like, okay, I’m like enjoying this time by myself doing whatever it is that I’m doing.
Angela Lin 7:34
Yeah, well, extroverts got hit real hard by quarantine, I feel like you’re on the, you’re definitely more on the extraversion side or than introversion side. I feel like for me, I’ve always been more of the like, in the middle. So the ambivert or whatever. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten more introverted, like, I enjoy being with people and I can bring a lot of energy when I’m with people and like, get a lot of energy from them, but kind of in smaller doses. So like, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve definitely appreciated more like me time. And so with quarantine, I’m like, okay, it’s me time. And it’s been I think I talked a little bit about this the last time but like, I really appreciate the, like, re configuring of what time looks like for me of like, What does 24 hours really give me and like how much can I do that I want to do within that time because I feel like before especially going to work every day and you’re like exhausted from like, you have to like commute to work and then like do the work and then come back and commute agan right? By the time I get home I’m like I just want to like eat and like turn my brain off and just do Netflix or whatever, right like and then go to sleep, that there’s not a lot of time that I put into thinking of like, you know, what are my hours of the day that I can do shit with now that I’m home I can better utilize that time and like use it for shit I want to do like learn new things or like work on this podcast or whatever. And I just feel so much more productive with my time and like more fulfilled with my day because I feel like oh, I got to like check off many things that or like different parts of my life that I wanted to accomplish and like progress a little bit versus feeling like my entire you know, productive block of the day has been utilized for this one thing and I have nothing left.
Jesse Lin 9:47
I completely agree with you there. I mean, I’ve definitely I mean obviously this is like not something that I probably would have liked this podcast is probably not something I probably would have taken on like in a normal, normal work situation because it would have just been mic impossible, as you mentioned, like with the commute, and then like, you already have your own routines and then you’re like locked at work for the specific amount of time you’re supposed to be at work, quote, unquote, it would have been quite difficult. I think the I mean, we’re talking about like, people and scheduling time. I think the other thing that I’ve appreciated more is like, the remaining people that I hang out with, and when I do hang out with them, it’s like, much nicer, but like, I feel more excited because you’re like, your engagements with people are so few and far between that I’m like, oh, my God, I will sit with you, six feet apart outdoors in the rain, and it will be fun. Somehow.
Angela Lin 10:46
I agree. I, I do feel like before and like you still live in New York. But I definitely felt this in New York of like, the FOMO, the constant FOMO, right, where you’re like, I just have to fill every minute of my time doing some things that I don’t feel left out of, like not doing stuff. And that’s definitely decreased for me after moving away from New York. And I went to business school, and then FOMO came again, but like, now, you know, past business school as a adult. After that context, I, that FOMO has not been strong, but I still do feel like I had more things on my social calendar than I like needed to have. Because there’s like a mutual thing amongst the friends of like, I should be seeing people and like, I should be spending time with people, I guess. So I agree with you like now when most of the time is you don’t see people like when you do see someone it does feel like oh, I like very appreciate our friendship I like you have like a deeper conversation. And like, it’s a, it’s just like a more meaningful hangout, usually. And I’ll also add even beyond the like in person stuff. I think we’ve talked about this before, but like, the amount of like facetiming, and zoom calls that everyone’s having to like, check in with friends that maybe you haven’t talked to in a long time. That’s also been something that’s been really cool, too, is like you, these have to be inherently like more meaningful conversations. Because it’s not like you’re like happened to catch up with them at a party where they’re like, 30 other people and like you say, You spent 10 minutes talking to them and passing kind of thing. It’s like I intent, I had intent to like, set up a time to video call you it’s just you and me or like, it’s just us and like a few, you know, small group of people, and there’s nothing to do or distract those what to talk to each other. And so yeah, I think the relationships that are there for sure are much deeper.
Jesse Lin 12:53
Well we talked about COVID. At the beginning of this, I think we at least know the two of us were I’m really grateful that I that nothing has happened in terms of like, I haven’t caught COVID as far as I’m aware. And in general, I still don’t know anyone that has gotten it, which I’m thankful for as well. I think this is a really big one. Because I feel like a lot of like, the idea like stuff around health is always like really taking, like, you take it for granted. Because, you know, for us, we’re kind of young, so we’re like, oh, like it’s gonna be fine. And we’re never gonna have any serious problems. And also, we’re like gainfully employed so we have like insurance and all this stuff. But I feel like when you look at what you’re seeing, for other people, it becomes very clear, like, that’s not the case for everyone. So I’m very thankful for the fact that I am able to stay healthy. And even if I wasn’t that I would be able to, you know, see a doctor and get care and all that.
Angela Lin 13:56
I agree. Yeah. When you compare to people who have suffered, like, really dire consequences from COVID It is very scary to see what the present, like what the potential is of this virus. For me, it’s thinking about our parents, too. That’s like, that was a scary thing to think about. And my parents are actually in Taiwan right now. And that was really scary because I’m like, you have to like take a 13 hour flight international flight and like Taiwan is way safer than it is in the US from like COVID standpoint, but you have to like get there. And luckily they got there and they’re in the quarantine right now. They have to quarantine because they’re the danger. But but then they’ll be safer there but like, yeah, elderly parents, right. It’s like as you get older, you’re like, man, there’s like very little I can do to protect them.
Jesse Lin 14:52
Well, speaking of health and time, I think this time has also given me more of a push to, like, invest in myself self-health from both a mind and body perspective, I just had a conversation with my mom, basically. And she was like, you have to start taking, like, better care of yourself. And you know, your mom always tells you through the years, you’re like, okay, yeah, whatever. Okay, yeah, whatever. And now I’m like, Huh, I’m almost 30. And my foot is in a boot, I think I should take her more seriously this time. She told me that and I was like, I’m can, I can keep pretending that I’m 21. But in reality, I’m not. So. But this time I have I have spent investing in like improving my mental health. So I’ve been like trying to practice at least like, daily or every other day using the Calm meditation app, and trying to use that to like, restructure my thinking and the way that I react to certain situations at like work, or just with other people in general. And I think it has been really helpful because like, before, I felt like I had a really good handle on how I was feeling. Because I was like, okay, I can like very clearly analyze all these things and come to a logical conclusion. But what the practice has taught me basically, is that it’s not about like stuff making sense, it’s about processing the emotion behind it. So it’s like less about thinking and trying to manage the thinking, but more about managing how you feel about it. And so that has been like, super helpful, because a lot of the times I would get, you know, before I would get to a conclusion, like, I shouldn’t be upset, this is stupid. But then I will be like, I’m really fucking upset. So now, like, I kind of get it more where it’s like, I can come to the logical conclusion. And I can try to like pass, let the emotion pass through me. So I also feel better about it, as well.
Angela Lin 17:05
Yeah, I have not been good about the meditation stuff. But what you’ve been talking about does remind me that I have also been investing in my mental health because it’s during quarantine that I called up my old therapist, and I was like, can we restart our sessions? Because I told you previously that like, I stopped seeing her because she moved too far. And it was like, you know, just not logical that I can make the logistically the trip over to her every time. And now that everything has to be video, it’s like, hey, we can do this. This like, is what everyone else has to do if they want to see you. So yeah, I’ve been doing bi weekly sessions with her and and like, also, then when I have like, emotional meltdowns at certain times, I’m like, if I text her, can you please see me tomorrow still like she’ll make it work. So it’s been a really nice, like, rock to have as our sessions. And sometimes I feel like, like, there’s so much that happens during the pandemic that like, usually when I see her there’s something top of mind. But even the like few times where I’m like, do I have anything to talk with her about, like, we find the thing, then you can like go deeper on just like, we all have so many issues or is like that, and we can go deeper on like just the other issues you have in your life and all the like most immediate things screaming at you because something happened the other day. So yeah, that’s been really cool. And to bring it into the woowoo, since we love that space. So she, she uses like, in our talk therapy sessions, like obviously, she like talks me through a lot of the stuff but if I’m feeling like really emotionally overwhelmed by certain things, she will often have me go inward and like there, there is a type of like meditation in our sessions. And I will like visualize things but unprompted so it’s been really cool. I’ve like found I have like a visualization skill, I guess that like comes with my emotions and like processing them. So I’ll be like, really angry or like really sad about something and she’ll be like, let’s close our eyes turn inward, and like, just feel into it. And like, what do you notice? And then it yeah, it’s been like, pretty random. I didn’t know I had this ability, but it’s just like, a lot of the times I do that I like see, see things where I’m like, well, I’m seeing like a, like an eagle like trying to like furiously fly towards a certain thing. It’s like okay, let’s follow this Eagle. like where’s the taking me? What is it trying to do? And like? Yeah, that’s pretty cool. Is this just like a live dream that I’m playing out because you know, it’s is like really related. It’s like a symbolic representation of whatever the fuck I’m trying to work through. Well you touched on this, but another thing I’m grateful for is this this podcast. And like, I’m grateful for the like, the unexpected community that we found with this not just like, there’s a couple different groups of community, right, like we have our listener community, obviously, that it’s made up of like some of our friends that started listening. And then just like random other people who this topic interests them. And like, that’s been really cool to see, like, people we don’t know are like, this is like, exactly my struggle to and this is cool to hear. So that’s a cool community. And then the other is this, like, we’re, I think we mentioned a few times. So we’re in this Asian podcast, network group, on Facebook. And there are a lot of podcasters that are out there. And like, we’ve talked about the lack of media representation of our people. And it’s been really cool to see like, there’s a huge group of Asian Americans, Asian British people, like Asians across the world, essentially, but who are also doing this like podcasting route to get out their stories and like, share other people’s stories. And it’s really cool to like, see that be part of it? And like, learn from each other. So thanks, Jerry Won, if you’re listening, who started that network.
Jesse Lin 21:28
No, no, I I really agree with you. I feel like at the beginning, when I started this, my reference for podcast, I basically listened to two podcasts, I listened to food for thot. And I listened to Nancy. So my reference for podcasts that were like, queer and Asian was just Nancy. And I was like, oh, like, I don’t really know if there is a community of people, as you said, who would be interested in listening to the stuff and what was really cool is, like, what we found, and I think what you’ll find in general is like, when you search for a community, you’ll typically find it. And that’s what was the most surprising thing, as you mentioned, which is that like, we thought we might be putting out something obviously not completely unique, there’s no way, right, but like, without really putting out something that was like relatively niche. And then when we popped into the niche, we were like, oh, wow, there’s like, a lot of people here already, like, doing their business, telling their life experience. And so it was like, really cool to crossover, as you mentioned with a lot of those people and share that experience.
Angela Lin 22:35
Yeah, and I really liked our recent episode with Maggie, for the to celebrate indigenous people say, because I like that, even though this the mission of our podcast started as like, you know, our struggle of the Asian American identities, you know, balancing the two, the premise of our thing is like, but were you really from right? Like what, you know, that general struggle to figure out like, who am I like, what are these different, like battling factors within me that kind of determine who I am. And so I like that there’s, it gives us this ability to also like branch out beyond necessarily the Asian American community to also help shine a light on like other communities stories to, which are also relatable, also, because we are just all human.
Jesse Lin 23:27
Yeah. 100% it’s definitely the case where I feel like in discussing like other people’s paths to finding their identity, like how they figured out their way to their lives and their own experiences. It helps to throw some relief on like your own experience. And whether it’s, you know, something where you can be like, oh, it’s like completely relatable. And like, I see myself in that. Or it’s something and like, complete contrast where you’re like, that’s such a, like, completely interesting thing. And I never thought about this kind of experience like that before. So I think it’s been very valuable – shout out thank you to all of guests who joined us.
Angela Lin 24:08
They’ve all been fantastic and brought totally different viewpoints and experiences and stories. All right. So lots of things to still be grateful for during this unprecedented time that we live in. Let’s travel back in time, a little bit than to us in our childhoods are growing up by you know, being raised by our Asian parents. As we move into the closing section, our Fortune Cookie sweet treat. To tie things back to our podcast theme. We thought it’d be fun to talk about things that we are grateful for that our Asian upbringings taught us.
Jesse Lin 25:01
I’m very grateful for the level of independence, that the kind of pressures I received from my parents and growing up, Asian has impressed upon me. And this has, I mean, obviously, like, this has led me to so many great things and great places. So I can’t say enough like how important this was, to me even though along the way, there were many tears, many breakdowns like, days where I was like, I cannot do this – did I tell you, I, like quote, unquote, ran away from home for like half a day. Because of like, I just I, I, like got a really bad grade on something. And I just freaked out. And I was like, I cannot talk to my parents, I can’t do anything I like ran away to like Barnes and Nobles for like, half day didn’t tell anyone where I was. And I was just sitting there like, reading and reading something. Well, what was your most most grateful thing, growing up Asian?
Angela Lin 26:09
I’m actually most grateful for even though we talk about this dual identity as a really frustrating thing. I’m honestly most grateful for being dual identity, like having these dual identities because I’ve now as an adult, like I have friends who have grown up in the US and like, have never left the US or it’s like, only in the past few years have they like gone to their first country outside of the US. And I feel like because we grew up in these two worlds, and our parents still cared about going back to Taiwan. Like for me, I went back every three years until I was 18. So I like a good amount of exposure to that world. And like, my dad also had a company in China. So we also went to China. And like, being able to see that the world is bigger than the little suburban bubble that we grew up in, in Orange County, like, must have shaped the way that I see the world. Like what’s considered fair, what’s considered like, a good life. And like all these things that I learned early, because I was part of these two worlds as opposed to like people who’ve only grown up here and like haven’t, aren’t well traveled, like don’t know what it’s like outside of the US, it’s like, it’s a different kind of way that you look at life and the things that you are grateful for, unlike the opportunities that you have, and how that relates to everyone else across the planet that don’t have it as good or like you don’t know what you’re missing in terms of like the beauty of like other cultures that you could be embracing, if you like step outside your comfort zone. So I’m grateful for that, like very early introduction into our lives of like, the world is bigger than this little place you’re in right now. So that’s like, made it not as weird to want to like see the rest of the world which I’ve done a lot of, you know, pre COVID So yeah, just a bittersweet but grateful for being dual identity.
Jesse Lin 28:29
Well, obviously since it’s the day after Thanksgiving, we hope everyone had really nice Thanksgiving if you don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, some kind of meal holiday meal. Hopefully you’re staying at home and not fighting people or sweaters or Black Friday.
Angela Lin 28:47
I don’t think this year you can find on the internet. Yeah. Why don’t you email us the things you both hated about 2020 and the things you’re most grateful for this year or anytime we’d love to hear from you and as you know we’re just forever collecting listeners stories for our next listeners episode so just write us in on whatever you want to share. And come back next week because we’ll have a fresh new episode.