Note: Transcript fully created by automated AI
[00:00:00] Angela: Hey everyone. I’m Angela Lin
[00:00:02] Jesse: And I’m Jesse Lin. And welcome back to another episode of, but where are you really? From this week? We wanted to start off with a post by Mary Andrew an on. Well that I found on Instagram and I found kind of this short little story or vignette that she put together that really kind of reflected how I was feeling at a certain point in time, which probably was March when we were like planning this.
[00:00:29] Jesse: So I was like to kick it off by reading it to everybody if that’s okay. It’s okay. Thank you. Permission granted, um, I’m washing my face before bed while the world appears to be crumbling. Wildfires are shooting an. It feels ridiculous to wash my face. It feels ridiculous. Not to, it has never been this way.
[00:00:49] Jesse: And it has always been this way. Someone has always clinked a cocktail glass in one hemisphere while someone loses a home in another while someone falls in love in the same apartment building where someone grieves the fact that suffering beauty and mundane. Mundane coincide is unbearable and remarkable.
[00:01:09] Jesse: How is a person supposed to do ordinary things like face wash or big things like fall in love? When a quick phone scroll is both advertising designer socks and informing me of wildfires. I despair with an exhale. Then I refuse to despair with an exhale. I scroll some more, a new baby, a flower firefighters, a threatened world holds so much.
[00:01:32] Jesse: What does it look like to state in the midst of despair? I choose energy. For starters, I choose to finish washing my face. Then I choose to look not away from, but toward, I choose to trust first in goodness. Then in the people I know then in people I’ll never know, always in myself. I choose to enjoy. I choose a new record.
[00:01:54] Jesse: I choose to change my habits. I choose to send a supportive text. I choose to show up at a birthday party because grief and celebration often happen in the same night. So, yeah, so I was reading this and I was like, oh my God, this is like exactly how I feel be coming out of, again, we don’t know pandemic, blah, blah, blah, pandemic coming out of that.
[00:02:17] Jesse: And then like having the war in Ukraine and kind of. Constantly being bombarded with news about what’s happening in different parts of the world. That is so negative. It can really, it really started to make me feel like, what am I really doing like that? I live my life in such opposition to people that I know, even though I don’t personally know them like to people that I know are in dire straits or really need.
[00:02:45] Jesse: and there was just like a period where I’ve, I’ve had like a lot of anxiety over the past two to three years, but there was like a period where I was just like, I just don’t really know what I’m doing with my life anymore and what I was aiming my life towards, like my goals. Sit like, it was really hard to just reconcile that with kind of everything that I was seeing, feeling, hearing, reading.
[00:03:11] Jesse: And so I think we just wanted to take this episode to really dive into that and kind of say like, how do we move about our lives? Knowing that there are all these other happening across the world that may not be the same as your own. That may not be as privileged as your own. Um, and still feel like comfortable, not comfortable.
[00:03:32] Jesse: Maybe comfortable’s not the right word, but still feel like you can be grounded in your own life and not kind of be lost to all of that stuff that is happening.
[00:03:43] Angela: Yeah. , uh, really heavy. I mean, I think this really resonates with me, especially. Since we just recorded the episode with Alex in Ukraine. Um, that was like a very direct kind of contrast between our lives and like the most currently the most kind of like dire situation going on in the world on the opposite end.
[00:04:13] Angela: Right. And it was kind of like, I, I mean, I literally just, uh, edited that episode. So it’s like very top of mind for me. And I’m like, there were so many moments where you and I were just like, I don’t have words to respond to what you just said, because it’s just so opposite of like what’s going on in our lives.
[00:04:36] Angela: And it does make me, at least at the time, feel really grateful for my own life privilege for sure. And kind of. At a loss of like, what, what do I do with this information of like, besides feel like extremely sad and like guilty. Do you ever feel that right? Just like guilty that you are not in a worse off position, even though it’s not your choice necessarily that, you know, everyone.
[00:05:08] Angela: Is in where they are in life. A lot of it started with kind of like things out of your circumstance, like where you were born, how were you were born, what family you were born into and like, and even school, like where you ended up going to school, if you did higher education, not everyone has the choice to like go anywhere.
[00:05:29] Angela: You could have had constraints based on like financial things or your family really needed you nearby, or you didn’t go to school because you had other things you had to care of. So a lot of things seem like they’re kind of out of your control. So then when you’re in a specific position and it is kind of like, I don’t know, quote unquote better than a another person’s situation.
[00:05:49] Angela: Sometimes I feel this like guilt. Even though I didn’t choose a lot of what makes me where I am now, if that
[00:05:57] Jesse: makes sense. Yeah, no, it definitely does. I will say I don’t feel guilty necessarily about where I am, but I do feel, I feel kind of what you were saying, like at a loss, like, I just don’t know what to do to help people, like, I know people need help, but.
[00:06:16] Jesse: I’m not sure how I personally can do anything for anyone. And it feeds into this kind of like helplessness in your life that I feel like the past two years have, has really kind of built. Right? It’s been isolating. You have you, for many parts of it, you were like, I have no idea what’s happening. Like, I don’t know when I can see people again.
[00:06:39] Jesse: for me as like, like more of a type a person I’m literally like, my life is literally out of my control and it like was freaking me out. And then to see something like this, it just adds like another thing where I’m like, wow, like there’s so much stuff happening. I don’t really know. what to do. Like, it’s kind of out of my control because like, I think about like all the things that I could do, like I, Don I could donate money.
[00:07:02] Jesse: I do donate money. I could write a Congress person, but like, how useful would that be at this point in time? Like, so they’re like all these things where I’m like, I could do this thing, but I’m like, how helpful is it like to the end person? And at the same time, maybe the only guilty part that I feel is that like, I’m also not like I’m not so, so, um, empathetic that I would.
[00:07:23] Jesse: Discard my own life to, to go do something about that, which is like, that’s probably like the other guilt part that I feel if I think about it too, too long. Yeah. Yeah,
[00:07:33] Angela: totally. And going back to what you said about kind of like. You feeling some anxiety from being bombarded with like a lot of things and opposite things.
[00:07:45] Angela: Juxtaposed, I think going back to the poster you read, it’s like very much, I think a big part of it is social media and it’s kind of like Omni presence in our lives. Because if you think about it, like, especially war, right. Where specifically, we’re just talking about the Ukraine war. war is not new. There have been many wars, um, in the history of man, but also even within our own lifetimes, like we’ve been in, we just exited Afghanistan, right?
[00:08:17] Angela: Like very recently that was a decades long war as well. And. I feel like this compared to that is like very different because of how present social media has made everything in life and around the world and how easily you can access anything that’s happening. so like in that post, you just read it’s like, while she’s looking at baby pictures of babies, there’s also like wildfires or whatever, right?
[00:08:49] Angela: Like, so in this situation, be like, you could see some like high Instagram model and then scroll and see like, uh, building collapse in Ukraine or whatever. Right. And it’s like, both things exist at the same time and you’re. Forced to see this like huge disparity in like all these contrasts that exist in life all at the same time, as opposed to like pre-social media.
[00:09:13] Angela: Like at the time of like invading Iraq and Afghanistan, it was like, Social media’s extent was like early Facebook. I think it was like, you know, invite only Facebook at that time. It’s like that kind of internet time did not expose us to any more of the world than like we had already been exposed to. So it was largely like, What you were fed by that media, what you hear from other people, maybe some people, you know, do have some, like, relationship what’s going on and you kind of hear a few things, but otherwise you’re very shielded.
[00:09:48] Angela: It was almost like ignorance is bliss. And now we have access to everything and it’s almost like it’s a trap in and of itself being able to access
[00:09:59] Jesse: everything. I will say like one slight off topic thing. I also feel like with FG, Afghanistan, and Iraq, like, I just don’t think there was as much infrastructure there to support constant, like social media sharing the way that there is in Ukraine.
[00:10:13] Jesse: Because I don’t, I don’t know if people think of Ukraine as like a backwater, but it’s like, not really. It. very, it’s like very modernized. So like there is the capability there to be always sharing stuff directly from, I mean, like we literally interviewed Alex and he’s like there with internet. So it’s, I think it’s also very like different levels of access gave this crisis, like much more visibility than in like FKM or Iraq where like people necessarily didn’t necess weren’t necessarily able to just like post whatever, because they didn’t have the proper.
[00:10:45] Jesse: In for, I don’t know. That’s why I’m guessing, but yeah. I
[00:10:47] Angela: wouldn’t know. I wouldn’t know. Um, so we might be wrong about that because I’m just, I’m just posing a kind of devil’s advocate, which is like, everyone’s favorite thing is like they’re starving children in Africa. Right. You know, like they put Africa as like the bottom of the barrel in terms of like advancement civilization, but Africa, as a continent, many countries within Africa are like some of the most advanced, like mobile.
[00:11:13] Angela: Users. Yeah. And so they’re definitely connected to the internet and like, I’ve literally seen on TikTok, like this woman who like still lives in like very traditional tribal settings within Africa and she’s like, was staying on TikTok. You know what I mean? So like, yeah. Okay. I wouldn’t know for sure.
[00:11:29] Angela: That’s fair Iraq, Africans. Well, I don’t think the culture was there, like maybe 2001 early, you know, up till. Up till Instagram, honestly, I think, or Twitter maybe was like, people didn’t have this habit of like constantly posting every single thing you’re doing and like documenting your life constantly.
[00:11:52] Angela: And what you’re seeing, it’s like that, wasn’t a thing that people did. So even if they had the access, I don’t think they would’ve done it or people wouldn’t have sought it out. You know, I
[00:12:02] Jesse: also, I feel like, cuz I do remember like. I do remember, like, remember in Egypt when there were those like uprisings, like to hear square.
[00:12:12] Jesse: Yeah. And they shut down the internet. And Twitter was like the, one of the only ways that people were still getting news out because you could text to tweet that service is still available. Mm-hmm um, I feel like part of it’s also just like. D aside from the density of information, you can also transmit just much more information, right?
[00:12:29] Jesse: Like before you could maybe only get a tweet out. Now you can get like a 4k HD video of what’s happening. And so it’s like, all the stuff is just like much more real than it was before because people can now document everything in like much higher detail and send it everywhere. So that’s, I also definitely feel like that’s part of, one of the things where it’s like, oh my God, this is like, so, um, much more present in my life than it used to be.
[00:12:53] Angela: Yeah. And then on the topic of like being bombarded and like kind of not knowing what to do with it, I feel like as people who have the privilege to not have to think about this stuff, if we don’t want to think about it, I think a common occurrence is that we honestly just stop choosing to think about it for our own mental health.
[00:13:15] Angela: Right. There is this kind of. That’s I guess for me, that’s part of the guilt is as well is kind of like, I know this terrible stuff is happening and I know that talking about it more will help in some capacity, but I’m also like tapped out mental health wise of like talking about it anymore or seeing more images of it.
[00:13:38] Angela: And so there’s almost like a self defense that’s happening where you’re like, I need to protect myself. Yeah. Your boundaries. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:13:46] Jesse: I don’t. I feel like, I think if you talk to a therapist about it, they’ll, they’ll be like, I think that’s completely fair. Like, because you can’t, there’s nothing, you can, you can’t do everything for everyone.
[00:13:57] Jesse: Like you’re not gonna solve all of the world’s problems. So by letting every problem affect you, I think you just become like less effective as a person overall, cuz you’re just like overwhelmed. Right. But. There are kind of like these big questions that linger where you’re like, there are these like big things happening in our time.
[00:14:16] Jesse: And like these main things, like, how do we, at least for me, I’m like, how do I like help that or change that or make it better. So for example, one of the main thing, like politics in the us, like, I don’t know what the fuck is happening right now, but this is not it like, this is not what everyone fucking turned out to vote for.
[00:14:33] Jesse: It’s a hundred percent not it, but at the same time, it’s like, what are you gonna do? You just tell people to go back and vote? Like it didn’t work. So there’s this kind of like sense of you can do something, but there’s a, like a jaded a little bit now. And maybe just, cuz I’m older now more jaded than I was before.
[00:14:53] Jesse: Like when I was early twenties, but there’s definitely like stuff like that where I’m just like, I just don’t like, I would love for someone to point me in a direction where I could be the most effective and then like, I’ll go do that. But I’m kind of like, I don’t know what to do.
[00:15:08] Angela: Hey listeners, wondering how you can support us.
[00:15:11] Angela: The biggest way is by increasing our visibility by following us on Instagram at where are you from pod on TikTok at, but where are you really from subscribing to our YouTube channel under, but where are you really from podcast rating and reviewing us on apple podcasts and telling your friends the more people we can get to listen to the show, the more we can continue spotlighting different perspectives and.
[00:15:31] Angela: And if you feel so inclined, we’re also accepting donations@buymeacoffee.com slash where are you from? Thanks. Y’all yeah. Yeah, I think that’s totally fair. The jaded aspect. I mean, when you don’t see results that you’ve been fighting for, it definitely discourages you from repeating certain actions. I. For me, there’s also this other question, like you were asking, like, what is the most effective thing for me to do?
[00:16:02] Angela: How can I actually affect change? And like, in these instances, for example of like war or whatever, right? It, it kind of reminds me of the question of like, what is it? Oh, we’ve talked about this kind of like fight or flight. Right. But like, if all of us. In the world have the same mentality as us of like, we need to self preserve and it’s healthy to self preserve.
[00:16:30] Angela: Nobody would step up to the plate to like truly help. Right. It’s kind of like bystander bias, right? When like there’s someone who is in need of help. And like, everyone’s like someone else will help them. And then nobody helps them. I, there is another like sense of guilt, I guess for me, it’s like, oh, am I such a.
[00:16:50] Angela: that I have like no bravery in me to like, do the like hard thing that no one else wants to do or whatever. Right. And what would become of the world if no one had that bravery to do that thing, like. in the Alex episode. I mean, I was very conflicted because I was basically, I was asking him like, what are Russians supposed to do?
[00:17:12] Angela: You know what I mean? Like you’re, you know, you were asking them to do something, but like, if they’re gonna get thrown in jail for 15 years or potentially just like disappeared or whatever for trying to do something, like how, how do you really ask someone to do that? And his response. You know, it was a conflicted response.
[00:17:28] Angela: It was kind of like, well, they can strike or whatever, but I’m like, secretly. I was like, I mean, they couldn’t still be disappeared and like jailed forever for doing that. And yes, some people will be brave and like take up that potential punishment, but it’s a lot to ask for like an average person to, to do that.
[00:17:47] Angela: And I think a lot of people are not brave enough honestly, to like, yeah. Do
[00:17:52] Jesse: something that risk. Yeah, no, I, I agree with you and it’s hard to ask that of other people when you don’t necessarily know if, when it comes down to it, like you will actually do that. Right. So like during like all the BL BLM stuff, like I went out for like a few marches with people.
[00:18:17] Jesse: It was never a situation. Like there are kind of like different kinds of demonstrations, right? There’s the one where you’re like, okay, like you’re probably not gonna get arrested. The risk is pretty low. And then there are the ones that are like really confrontational that you probably were gonna get arrested.
[00:18:32] Jesse: And like, I wanted to take part in that to show support, but I also didn’t wanna get arrested and. sometimes it’s hard to say which kind of demonstration had the most effect. If you, if you will, like the one that was like less confrontational or the one that’s more confrontational, but I think too, maybe what the post, the feel of the post is saying is that like, it doesn’t necessarily negate your intention and like the energy that you put into what you did, because like overall it builds into so.
[00:19:08] Jesse: Greater. So I try to think about stuff like that. Like I try to do what I feel like I can. Um, but sometimes I, I just don’t know if it’s, if I could do, if there are more things that I could do that are within the safety level that I feel comfortable with. So for example, like donating money to organizations, I think this is an effective thing to do because there are many organizations that already set up like very well to deliver services or needs or whatever to other.
[00:19:37] Jesse: But sometimes I’m like, is that all I can do? Like I could do something else maybe. Um, but I just don’t really know what that is. Yeah. I
[00:19:45] Angela: agree. I think the donating money thing is definitely it’s important. Um, I guess it just also, you can fall into the like black hole of like donating potentially to organizations that you don’t know what they’re doing with their money, blah, blah, blah, blah.
[00:20:00] Angela: But I I’ve definitely done that. So for example, One of the things that really, you know, I was very gung-ho about initially and then eventually just. Sapped. All of my mental health, uh, energy was all the stop Asian hate stuff. Like at the peak of last year, I was like very vocal about a lot of that stuff and trying to like amplify through this podcast and whatever.
[00:20:25] Angela: I was joining a lot of money, honestly, to like a lot of GoFund Mees, which I, I felt good about because it was like the families of victims that were setting it up. And it was like, literally this money is gonna go to like pay for their hospital bills and stuff. I was like, this, I feel good about this. Um, but I was just, yeah, it was very drained by the end of it.
[00:20:46] Angela: And I was like, I can’t do this. Like, it’s not good. Anyone like this, if I put like a half-assed effort into trying to amplify this more, it’s not gonna be effective and it’s gonna like drain me tenfold. You know what I mean? Yeah. So it was like, I had to set boundaries at a certain
[00:21:05] Jesse: point. Yeah. And I feel like talking through this, that’s kind of like the theme that is coming out, which is that like, you wanna help, but you need to set boundaries to like how much you’re willing to help.
[00:21:15] Jesse: And then within those boundaries, you. Do whatever you want. And even though sometimes that may seem insufficient, like that’s kind of like what you can do, where you are at, where, where you’re comfortable with. And I don’t know if anyone can ask more of you than that. Um, I feel kind of the same way. Like there, there were like a few organizations they Don to last year, like, um, Lambda legal, which does all of the, they like nonprofit does all the cases that are like.
[00:21:44] Jesse: L G B T QIA rights and then S SPLC, which tracks like hate groups across the us and does like research on that kind of thing. So those are like things that I, you know, donated to, and that was kind of like the extent that I feel like I could help. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:22:03] Angela: Well, I’m gonna take this shit real. Woo boo. Now.
[00:22:06] Angela: Um, woo. Woo. Oh, okay. Yeah, you weren’t expecting, this is not in our outline. lay it on thick. Well, So for me, part of, kind of what drives my, the things that I get involved with and kind of the extent to which I get involved with them comes a lot down to my gut, feeling around something and like how much of a fire there is within me to like, push to do a certain thing.
[00:22:36] Angela: Like, I feel like there’s this. thing I feel inside where it’s like, okay, it’s incredibly important for me to talk about this thing or to like give money to this thing or like share this thing or whatever it is that I feel is within my capacity to do, like, it’s a, it’s the reason, for example, that we’ve recorded two episodes about the Korean war mm-hmm and then of like busted my ass to push those episodes out within a very short amount of time from when we record them, just because it’s the most relevant.
[00:23:08] Angela: I feel like part of what’s driving that well, all of us have intuition, right? That’s like, forget whatever spec end of the spectrum you are on spirituality. Everyone believes that you have like instinct of some sort gut feelings, right. For me going into woo woo. Land. I mean, I do believe that all of us are put.
[00:23:32] Angela: On this earth, in this specific life to accomplish something. And it’s unclear what our like that, I don’t think it’s like one main purpose or whatever that all of us have, but like, you’re here for a reason like that. There’s a, we talked about this, right? Like science can explain a lot of things, but like consciousness is not something science can explain.
[00:23:52] Angela: And there’s a reason why humans have it. And other animals don’t really have that. And so we’re here for a reason. And. where it’s within our like gut feeling instinct to help other causes that are going on. We should do that. But it doesn’t mean that we need to be like pulled completely into those causes.
[00:24:17] Angela: Right? Like, I feel like if it’s something that you were actually meant to do, you would have such a strong gut feeling that you would know. Like, I need to drop everything to like, go do this thing. And. I honestly feel like that’s what drives a lot of the people that are like the, the brave people that I was talking about earlier that like, decide, like, I wanna go fight in Afghanistan, like for the eighth tour or whatever.
[00:24:41] Angela: Right. Like, there are a lot of soldiers that did that. They like did repeat
[00:24:44] Jesse: tours or like people who are in like doctors without borders and are like working in like field hospitals and stuff like that. Yeah, totally.
[00:24:51] Angela: It’s like, there’s no one that could convince them. By like, logic that they should be doing that.
[00:24:57] Angela: Right. It’s just like, they have to have that thing inside of them that tells ’em like, this is the right thing for you to do. And that’s why you’re willing to do it. So I just that’s, I guess that’s part of how I justify my own boundaries, as well as like, I know when it’s something that I feel like I need to like get really heavily into, because I’ll feel that drive.
[00:25:19] Angela: And if it’s not. If I don’t feel that, then it’s not part of my purpose in this life. I, I don’t know. It’s very Woohoo. No, but that’s kind of how I see it. I think
[00:25:30] Jesse: that makes sense. Um, I do wanna ask that question though, because when you were talking about that, I was like, oh man, like, I feel like, kind of at the beginning of the pandemic, when there were all these like kind of causes coming up, there were many things that I felt galvanized towards, like what you said.
[00:25:46] Jesse: Right. And now I just feel exhaust. Like I just see another thing and I’m like, I don’t, I feel bad, but I don’t feel galvanized anymore. Cuz I’m just exhausted by the constant like bombardment of things and, and like it just so, so draining and I feel like the barriers are there, but you have this, you know, like when you live in the city, there’s this constant just like background hum of noise.
[00:26:12] Jesse: And when you leave, you’re like, oh my God, it’s like not here anymore. That’s why I feel with all this stuff. It’s like, I. Barriered it out, but that doesn’t mean that it does not exist somewhere in my consciousness. Like constantly just taking up like a small bit of my like mental capacity. And so I think on, on certain days when I’m like really stressed about something or really anxious about something, it just like, I can no longer like, separate that out.
[00:26:42] Jesse: It’s just like all anxiety. . Yeah,
[00:26:46] Angela: well, I mean, such a stereotypical adage and I’m not gonna get the words. Right. But basically the whole concept of like, you can’t take care of others before you take care of yourself. Right? Like if you don’t fill yourself up, you are not gonna be able to care about anything else.
[00:27:03] Angela: Yeah. Because you’re, you’re already overextended, like you have nothing left to give. So I, I do feel like that’s a really important part is just like to make sure that you are giving yourself enough. Time space love to like be whole
[00:27:19] Jesse: first. I think that’s the tr I think that’s the, um, I don’t know, tricky part is that I feel like, I feel like for myself and a lot of people, you think you’ve been giving yourself time because time is all you do now with yourself.
[00:27:34] Jesse: Because a lot, I mean, a lot of people are still just at home. Some people may not even be seeing other people, but that is not necessarily. What you’re talking about, like time with yourself that like makes you feel whole, as opposed to just like spending time by yourself. And I think that that’s where it’s a little bit of like, uh, like a disconnect there for sure.
[00:27:55] Angela: Totally. I read this book a long time ago when I was like very lost in my life. um, in terms of what I wanted to do with my life. And I’m. Kind of upset that I forgot the name of it, but it was written by the one.
[00:28:11] Jesse: Was this the design your
[00:28:12] Angela: life book? Yes, exactly. I was like the IDEO founder guy. Um, and actually one of those exercises is what drove me to wanna explore podcasting.
[00:28:22] Angela: So I do think it was helpful, but one of the exercises that they. Encouraged you to do as kind of like a foundational step is like, they were like, imagine that your life has these kind of gauges or like gas meters, or whatever that you have to fill up. Right. A gas tank. And there’s like a work gas tank, um, love, uh, fun or like play or something like that.
[00:28:48] Angela: And then maybe there’s one other thing, but like, basically they’re like, Why don’t you kind of out of like a four, four grids per tank, right? Like fill right now, like how filled up do you feel in each of those categories and. what is lacking in each of those tanks that would like make those be fuller and also kind of like, what is the best balance that would make you feel the most fulfilled?
[00:29:20] Angela: Because for example, they gave some really good analog or not analogies, like actual stories of people where, for example, there are people who like don’t care about climbing the social or sorry, work ladder. They just like wanna have a good enough job that they make enough money, that they can like take care of their families and like have good work life balance, but they don’t feel fulfilled from work, but that.
[00:29:45] Angela: Like well, paying job helps them feel fulfilled and have time for family relationships for hobbies, blah, blah. So for their gas tanks work might be like two outta four. And they’re totally fine with that because then the love and the like play GA gas tanks are like four outta four. So it’s kind of like, what are the things that you are not paying enough attention to in your life?
[00:30:12] Angela: What is the right balance for you and try to like fill yourself back up for those things. And then I will add one more thing that my therapist told me that I was like, I love this, which is, I was telling her. , you know, when I transitioned out of like normal corporate job into doing this full time, and I was like, I feel like I’m gonna have a lot more free time and I’m gonna feel a lot guilt about that.
[00:30:38] Angela: Like I’m not being productive and that I’m just like wasting my life away or whatever. Right. And I was like, and especially once we start a family, like when I have kids and whatever. I’m gonna feel like all I am is like a mom and I have like nothing right else to contribute. So I was voicing these kind of concerns and she, and so I was like, yeah, I, I feel guilty of like my whole day was like, for example, like I wanna do yoga.
[00:31:09] Angela: And like, I want to like, um, go like do this hobby or whatever, and things that fill me up. Right. And she was like, I think you should think of your. Filling yourself up these activities that you’d see as like counterproductive as like you as a firefighter, because she was like similar to a firefighter.
[00:31:32] Angela: Like they don’t work all the time. Like the best case scenario is that they work none of the time, but, and what do they do when they’re not working? They’re like playing basketball, they’re cooking. They’re like hanging around with all the other guys. Right. And. It’s in your best interest as a citizen that may need their services later, that they are filled up, that they are well rested, that they have time to exercise.
[00:31:57] Angela: They have time to like, do other things when they’re not fighting fires, because then when they are called to the job, they are like full of energy and like, you know, to the max ready to like be this hero. And she was like, that’s. You are gonna be is kind of like, you need to fill yourself up as like a baseline so that when you’re required to like, pull out all this energy to like be superhero in whatever aspect you have that energy for it.
[00:32:26] Angela: And I was like, I love this because it was such a like, different way to look at
[00:32:31] Jesse: productivity. Yeah. I think it’s funny. Whenever a therapist come up with like examples and you’re like, huh. Oh, that does make sense. Cuz usually there’s something that’s like really, really. I’m like, I would never, I would come up with example like mine recently kind of in the same vein.
[00:32:46] Jesse: Like I was saying how this year is like, I need to be like nicer to myself and stop being so like critical of my life. And he was like, there was something I was telling you more. He was like, you aren’t being very nice to yourself. Are you like, and I was like, oh, he’s like, think about it this way. Like your like inner needs is like a.
[00:33:07] Jesse: That like needs to be comforted. And instead of comforting, this child, you’re just like screaming at it to stop. And I was like, I was like, first of all, I had children, like, there are like Valerie, like few others that are just like blissful joys to have around. But like, oh, like most, most children I’m like, I’m I’m I’m okay.
[00:33:30] Jesse: So I was like, oh, this is like, go starting off the wrong way a little bit. Oh. But then I was like, okay, like I understand. You need to be, you know, like you have to come in with like compassion and empathy for yourself before kind of to what you’re saying before, you can really exude it to other people, things or projects or whatever.
[00:33:50] Jesse: So, yeah, I think that’s, that’s like one of the most difficult things I feel like is to just like, Not let all of these, and what we’re discussing is not let all of these external things kind of tarnish your own self peace, your empathy for yourself, your love for yourself, because that’s when you start to like, lose that for other things external to you.
[00:34:15] Jesse: Yes. Yeah.
[00:34:17] Angela: Well, I think the takeaway we’re taking from all of this is investing yourself and self love, self care, and where you feel drawn to help with something, do it to the extent that you feel like you can mm-hmm and. But keeping yourself, you know, mentally stable, stable. Yes. Yeah. Um, and with that, I think we should go to the close to end on a happier, a sweet treat time.
[00:34:50] Angela: Yes. Fortune cookies, sweet treat. Um, I think. We wanted to each share one heartwarming story that we found on the internet. Since, as we said, it can be this weird bombardment of like lots of horrible things, but also some good things as well. Some nicer sides of humanity. mm-hmm um, I have one in mind. Do you have one?
[00:35:16] Jesse: Uh, I do. It’s not necessarily a story, but yeah, I can. Yeah. So my friend sent me this TikTok because this is a friend that I went to watch everything everywhere all at once with. And the TikTok is just like a bunch of people toing like a review of the movie. And it starts off with that clip of Michelle, yo like crying from the GQ interview.
[00:35:36] Jesse: Cuz she’s like, this is finally my chance. Like first of all, that clip is so moving. I’m like work bitch. Oh my God. Seriously? Yes. I’m here for it. And then just like. it was so great to see other then the, the, the reviewers who were in the TikTok were not Asian. So there, I think there was, um, a black lady, a couple white guys, and it’s just so it’s like a very, just so feeling like some feeling, some positive feeling to see other people vibe to.
[00:36:04] Jesse: This movie and feel like they have had some part, like they have some parts that like shared experience that we got in the theater and it makes me feel good because it just makes you feel like you’re more connected to other people that you shared this kind of thing with them a hundred
percent.
[00:36:21] Angela: Yeah, not my story, but I will pile on that.
[00:36:24] Angela: Um, our review of the movie on YouTube is. Still going. I think we’re getting recommended because people are seeking out. uh,
[00:36:36] Jesse: I’m gonna go wa I’m gonna go watch it again this weekend, probably. So it’s
[00:36:39] Angela: so good. Yeah. Uh, but yeah, we’ve been getting comments too. And, um, I think only few of them are Asian. Like a lot of the people commenting are just like other non-Asian people and they’re like, love they’re into it that we ever, blah, blah, blah.
[00:36:51] Angela: Yeah. I was like, yes. Um, Awesome. Great. Um, my story that I saw is also TikTok, cuz that’s where all the stories happen now. Um, there’s this creator that I’ve been following for a long time, re Cho he’s like really big as well, but he. like, I’m pretty sure he is like full-time creator, um, and makes enough money to like sustain his life because there was this video that I saw and I think I sent it to you is, um, I guess he made friends with like a homeless woman a while ago, maybe like a year ago and has been working with her to help.
[00:37:31] Angela: You know, improve her life. And he made this TikTok where he was like, because of your guys’ kind donations, we got her an apartment and we got her a lease and now she’s off the streets and she has her own space now. And it was like the most heartwarming thing to see, cuz I was like, wow. In the midst of like all this like randomness on TikTok, this guy is like using it for good and.
[00:37:57] Angela: I don’t know when he raised money from his audience, but I guess it happened a while ago, um, so that he could use that towards helping this woman. But I was like, it’s, it’s one of those things where it’s like a small, tangible thing, right? It’s like you can’t solve all homelessness. That’s like a very difficult and daunting task to try to like tackle, especially as like an individual person.
[00:38:20] Angela: to see that he reached out to like one specific woman that like, he must have had, you know, a calling within him. Like I need to help this woman. Right? Like of all things I could be doing right now, and like established a relationship with her and kept up with her and, and actually helped her out of her situation.
[00:38:39] Angela: It was just like, wow. TikTok is not just all random cab videos and whatever videos it can be like used in a really. Really positive way. So, yeah, I I’m really inspired by, by that kind of, that kind of aid, because it also feels more tangible and also more kind of like, I don’t know, it, it. Because I feel like, because I’m moving us into more of this like creator space, right?
[00:39:12] Angela: Like a lot of times it can feel really meaningless, honestly. Mm-hmm, like, it’s this weird kind of juggle, right? It’s like, I’m putting a lot of effort into this and like, we do get good feedback from people, but a lot of times I feel like, oh, so all I do is like, be on social media now. Like it just feels a lot of me feels like I’m wasting my life away.
[00:39:31] Angela: So when I see that someone else who. Also pursuing like, just life on social media, essentially as like a career and seeing that they can not only sustain themselves, but also help really help other people. Mm it’s like, okay, this is not just dumb shit. Yeah. Like it can make an impact.
[00:39:54] Jesse: Awesome. Yes. And I do remember you sending me that it was a very.
[00:39:58] Jesse: Moving to shock. Yes. All right. Well, listeners, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I know we meandered a little bit. Mm-hmm but I think we opened with the question and we were able to come to an answer at the end. So. Let us know. Did you like the answer we can to a conclusion? Um, two, do you have more questions?
[00:40:21] Jesse: Do you have more thoughts? If you have any of these things, feel free to write us in at tell us where you’re from@gmail.com or hit us on hit us up. Oh my God. On any of the socials.
[00:40:34] Angela: And if you have other advice for setting boundaries, we’ll take those
[00:40:37] Jesse: two. Oh my God. Or dealing with just like the every day.
[00:40:41] Jesse: Oh God. Yes. Truly.
[00:40:42] Angela: Yes. Yeah. Um, yeah. And come back next week, cuz we’ll have another fresh episode for you then. And I should be in Asia by then as well. Woo. Uh, yeah. So until then,