Jesse Lin 0:20
This week, we have another special guest as part of our featured series Asians doing cool shit. We’re joined by Major David, please help me with your last name David
David
H is silent in this case so it’s Phetmixay
Full Transcript (Note: Transcribed via AI, may contain errors)
Jesse Lin
Phetmixay welcome. And if you guys didn’t notice I introduced him as major, o he’s part of the United States Air Force. So David, as part of our series introduction question, would you like to tell us, but where are you really from?
David 0:54
Hey guys, first of all, thanks for having me. And I will offer that my dad’s from Laos, and my mom’s from Thailand. But I was born in California, raised in North Carolina.
Angela Lin 1:06
A lot of different places. Where in California?
David 1:11
I was born in Sacramento. And then my, my dad actually took a Greyhound across America, and then found North Carolina to be the best spot for some reason.
Jesse Lin 1:23
Interesting.
Angela Lin 1:24
In North Carolina was just like, I don’t know, let’s try North Carolina, like family or friends or anything there?
David 1:33
No, I think my my dad had a sponsor. But there’s a lot of Lao folks that moved from Laos to America and other parts of the world. And I think that North Carolina just reminded him of like, I don’t know, maybe a simple lifestyle back in Laos. So I didn’t really grew up in an Asian community, I grew up around other white folks and other Hispanics. In my lifetime, I’ve had a lot of other Asian Americans that have grown up in Asian communities, and I just not happened to be one of them. So we have kind of like a different mind, you can have a different mindset in that case. Dealing with identity and who like like you ask in your podcast, like but where are you really from? I get that a lot. Or you know, sometimes you get oh you’re Chinese or Japanese and then you have to explain where where are you from? And your parents are from and take put forth the effort, which I think is always worth the effort, even if it is a little bit more. But yeah, I mean, sense of identity definitely factors in there. And I just had to learn just a different, different way of life. My parents, they don’t speak the best English or perfect English. But it’s good enough, you know that the first thing they did when they came over from Laos is learn English, they enlisted in ESL classes. And so that’s the reason why I can speak English well, but I didn’t learn too much Lao or Thai at home. So I just started learning whenever I got into the Air Force, really,
Angela Lin 3:03
That’s really interesting. But one of our best friends her husband, like his family chose not to teach him how to speak Mandarin growing up, because they were afraid that he would learn English with an accent. And now it’s like one of his regrets is not knowing how to speak his language. So sounds like you know how to speak your language now but like, what do you know, if your parents actively chose not to do that for that reason? Or..?
David 3:30
Yeah, my dad, and my mom specifically said that in order to succeed in the US, then we’re gonna have to learn English, and that’s gonna be the primary language. They did try to teach me one time. I do remember, whenever I was a kid, they wrote, they put the Lao alphabet in front of me, and they put a flyswatter next to it, because that was a weapon of choice. They’re like, you’re gonna learn this. So they didn’t have time to like, actually follow through what they had to work. So I skipped that part. But I do you know, so I got into the language program in the Air Force. It’s called the language enabled Airman’s program in 2012. And whenever I got in, I didn’t know how to read or write. And so now, to this day, I put forth a lot of effort and time and they have given me a lot of classes and I’ve actually been to Laos on duty for a few times. I work in the embassy work in the POW-MIA mission. For those that don’t know, that’s a prisoner of war missing in action. I’m going out there and then helping translate between villagers and Lao people and Americans while we’re out there trying to recover remains from the war. And so I’ve been pretty lucky in my career so far in which, you know, they they let me get this program, they teach me how to read and write and they give me opportunities to use it. And so at the same time, I get to connect with my own family because you know, I can speak read and, and communicate with them better.
Angela Lin 4:58
Damn. Like jealous of you because we, I mean, Jesse and I both grew up with households where we did speak Chinese at least some of the time or or all the time. And then we went to Chinese school like once a week, every week for our entire like until high school graduation essentially, but I would argue are like speaking and certainly our writing and reading skills are..
Jesse Lin 5:25
Definitely still grade school
Angela Lin 5:27
Pretty wack. And so for to hear you, having grown up without learning it at the time of your life, where it’s like the easiest to learn the language and then learning it as an adult and being like, totally fluent enough to be translating and like, having these really tough conversations is really, like admirable clap claps for you. And also like jealousy for me.
David 5:53
I appreciate that. It did take a lot of work. Actually, I’m learning Thai right now, in preparation for my assignment to Bangkok. So they’re very similar Lao and Thai very similar. But Thai has more consonants and vowels. So it’s a, there’s more to mix and match in there.
Angela Lin 6:52
You said that now when you go home with your parents, you do speak Lao to each other even though growing up you spoke English to each other? Was that a weird transition? Because for me, I’m in this like weird boat where my mom’s English is not very good. So she knows more than she lets on but she just like pretends like she doesn’t know. So then she forces us to speak Mandarin with her. So I’m used to like, Okay, if mom is talking to me, I’m speaking in Mandarin. But my dad was a businessman. So he had a lot of business with America and other Western countries. So whenever he’d come home, he would speak English to me. So I’m like, okay, with Dad I’m doing English with him. But my mind has like a problem with trying to mix the two. So like, if I tried to speak Chinese to my dad, I feel really weird. Like, yeah, was was it weird switching at a different at a random point in your like adult life with how you were communicating with your parents?
David 7:55
Very much. So well, in my in my situation. My parents always spoke Lao to me and I would respond in English. But then the first time I actually spoke to my mom in Lao, because they did not see my progression. They don’t, they don’t know, they didn’t see. And so I just I’m speaking Lao to her all of a sudden, cuz I’ve spent a month in Laos before and I’m like, I’m comfortable now. And she just laughs and I was like, I’m trying to be, you know, back to the roots here. But it did take like a hot minute for her to be like, okay, my dad was more of like, okay, I mean, it’s not bad. And so I have gained enough confidence in it, where I actually spoke some Lao at my promotion ceremony. Really the promotion ceremony it was for my mom and dad, because, you know, they’re the immigrants that came over and tried to make a better life for their children. And so I could just pin on the rank and be like, Okay, cool. I’m a major. Now, this doesn’t really affect me that much, because it’s just part of the progression. But for more so for my parents to, to showcase them like, hey, we’re doing well over here. And you know, you might not see me every day, but things are still going good.
Jesse Lin 9:13
When you were going through that program to like learn the language. Did you tell your parents?
David 9:18
Yeah, so I did because the Air Force gave me an opportunity to go visit Laos. I haven’t been able to visit Thailand as part of the program, but I’m just going to work there arriving this summer. But that gave me opportunities to see my family for the first time like a lot of my family for the very first time in my life when I went over that in my 20s. So because my parents moved and immigrated to the States, I only grew up with immediate family. So having that sense of like aunts, uncles, grandma, grandpa cousins, wasn’t really there for me except trying to just survive and like trying to be successful in America.
Angela Lin 9:59
What was that like? When you went and saw your extended family for the first time?
David 10:05
it was, it was pretty emotional. Like we, we had gone to Thailand whenever I was younger, maybe like 10-11 years old. And then I finally came back as an adult. And my dad is the oldest in his family. And I’m the oldest in the family. Right? Yeah. Cuz my dad has not been back for like, over 30 years. And so my, my, my family in Laos is not, you know, flown to America, because it’s so hard to get a visa to go over there. So they haven’t seen each other in a while. And so seeing whenever they see me, they see my dad, always asking what’s up and, and I’m trying to represent the family over there. And there’s just, it’s just full of love, even though we haven’t seen each other some some folks, some of my family members I’ve never seen before. Just nothing but love from them as soon as I arrive, and they know that I’m coming and I yeah, I really, it’s an it’s a, there are moments that, you know, I’m not really accustomed to not the loving part, but just like being around family and just hanging out.
Angela Lin 11:15
Oh, I got all the warm and fuzzies
Jesse Lin 11:20
I really feel that I mean, Angela, I have talked about it before, but like, I definitely feel the same way when I’m visiting my larger family in Taiwan. I feel like, it’s so nice to be part of like this larger unit of people that like know each other and hang out and like they’re family in name and actually family in practice. Like they’re friends and they’re there for each other. And every time we go back home was like, damn, like, I’m missing out on like, two years of everyone’s lives every time I come back as every two years. And it’s like, something completely different people have babies or they’re married or whatever. So yeah, definitely feel that?
Angela Lin 11:53
Okay, well, changing gears a little bit. being in the military, like you said, you’re one of the only well, Asian people, minority probably broadly. But what was that, like when you told your parents like, hey, I think I want to join the forces as my career. And was that something foreign to them? Do they like get what that really meant? And like, did they feel like that was a good track for you? Or how was the reaction to that initial discussion?
David 12:24
My dad was super supportive, because he had some experience back in his day. And so especially going to the Air Force Academy, out of anything, he was all about it. And if anything, it really like, helped me understand it gave me more opportunities, I guess, because when you go to the Air Force Academy, the government spends so much money on us, that they just make you go through a ton of training. And the more in life in general, the more experiences you have, the more you can learn. Because one, you are able to make mistakes. As whenever I was growing up, like I wasn’t allowed to make that mistakes, just trying to be a model minority, I guess you can say. And then when you’re afraid you can’t be bold, and you can’t be bold, you don’t learn. And so going to the academy helped me change my mindset from being super cautious to be more bold in how I conduct myself. And so that helped me learn a lot. And so the result of that is a, you know, successful career. And then my parents being like, oh, yeah, so you, so you get to graduate, you know, have a guaranteed job. You’ve been you’ve been getting paid. And since you went into the Academy, and now I’ve been in Asia since 2012. And going back to the motherland. So it’s kind of a it’s kind of a incredible route if you think about it because not a lot of people will have my kind of career path. And so I hopefully, you know, they come over and visited me know with COVID allows it, and that we can like reunite with everyone. But my parents actually came out visit me when I was stationed in Korea, Seoul and Busan. And then they came out here in 2018, Summer 2018, like one of the hottest summers that Japan had, and I was having them, like walk around everywhere. Like for me, you know, I’m a young dude so I’m just like, yeah, you can do it I think you’re just complaining too much. You find out that they’re too, it was actually really hot. And it was very interesting for them because their parents, right. So I’m like paying, I’m taking care of them. Yeah, because I have, you know, I’m financially responsible. Like, I know where to go. I know I know how to do things. And there was like, you can see it was like weird for them to work for them not to be taking care of me and I’m just taking care of them. I’m glad they even came over to show to them like hey, I’m not doing too bad over here. And I want to show like that I can not only take care of myself but you guys.
Jesse Lin 14:57
So you know we kind of just talked about how your career felt like to your parents or what they thought about it. Where did you first get the idea of joining the forces? Like was there a moment where you were like, this is for me, or you were just kind of curious and you joined up and realized, as you were going through the training that it was like, this is right for you?
David 15:19
Yeah, I, we actually had to move a lot whenever it’s going up in North Carolina. So we went to like four different first grades. And we’re trying to trying to find a stable job. And just, there’s so much chaos when you’re like going through all that. So then, what I think what happened was that I craved order and going into the military, in that culture is that there’s always going to be order in the middle of chaos. I went through a lot of training in my high school years, and I liked it. So I decided to go with it.
Angela Lin 15:55
How did you choose that branch, specifically?
David 15:58
Specifically, because my dad said, army life is a lot of suffering. And I he didn’t want me to suffer. So then he said, you should go Air Force. And that’s the one thing I said, okay, sure I agree with this.
Jesse Lin 16:10
Okay. Wait, is there like a organization of which arm of the Armed Forces suffers the most?
David 16:19
Yeah, I generally speaking there is like there are understood or implied levels of the amount of suck that you have to go through. And okay. And so I think like Marines and army guys have to endure the most and then Air Force, because we, our mission is, is engaging from a distance, so we have more time to react rather than immediately.
Jesse Lin 16:45
And ignorant personal question, do you know how to fly anything?
David 16:50
No. Well, they did teach us, you know, like, we were flying engineless aircraft and stuff. But I didn’t go through pilot training, but a lot of my friends are.
Angela Lin 17:01
I mean, you’re you’re stationed in Asia, but the forces that you’re with are not all Asian. So what was it like going through initial training and like, the Academy, and then now, you know, full time being one of the few Asian people? And did that come up really, at at all? Or is it just like, you know, we’re not trying to talk about race or not trying to, like, make it seem you’re all the same? What was that like?
David 17:28
Yeah, whenever I went to the academy actually was the first time I wasn’t asked if I was Chinese, or Japanese. So that was nice to start off with, because people are a little bit more educated to have to get into into the institution. But in my career, you know, before I think last year was with George Floyd and everyone, we didn’t really talk about diversity that much we have diversity training, because when the military were a government entity, so we acknowledged it, but I don’t think people really understood you know, how to ask the right questions of like, okay, you grew up in this part of the country? Or maybe this your skin color that you have, probably you have some type of trauma growing up, whether you grew up in Asian community or not, you have some form of discrimination that you have experienced. And that is one thing that I don’t think people non color, actually think about, which is okay, do you know, that’s something that they have other things to think about. But to engage people of diverse backgrounds I think that would be, that’d be helpful for them. I guess to now since is the most fresh in my mind, I actually had a noncommissioned officer that worked for me, in my previous billet. And he said that in his 11 year career, I was the first Asian American officer that he worked for. He’s like, this is 11 years, and he’s, um, he’s of Tibetan descent, grew up in India, and then moved to Minnesota, and I’m the very first Asian American officer he’s ever worked for. And I was like, that’s, that’s wild. So that’s if we can give you an indicator of how diverse it is in the Airforce.
Angela Lin 19:14
Question I’ve been noodling during this time is how you think of identity or if it’s been something that you’ve had to deal with, while you’re in the forces in the fact that you’re American. But you also on the outside, you look Asian, and especially when there’s conflict with other Asian countries, has there ever been a sort of like questioning of your Americanness or your patriotism, just because you’re Asian, because I’m just thinking back on like, obviously, we’re much more progressive time than in the past, but like during the Vietnam War, and like other wars in the past where we’ve been fighting other Asian countries, but there are people of that descent who are Americans fighting on the US side there was, you know, hatred and like misguided discrimination against the American, you know, Asian people that are fighting for America. So I’m just curious if that’s ever been something that’s come up and your time that you’ve been in the forces or if, you know, luckily, things have changed for the better. And you haven’t experienced that.
David 20:27
Yeah, I think people are more consciously aware of, but I’m also in the Officer Corps, which is more strategic thinking. Our strategic competitor, according to the National Security Strategy is China and Russia and then so we have these discussions in we have our own kind of group of Asian American officers in the Air Force. And we have these kind of discussions, actually, one of them is a Chinese American officer. And most people are saying, no, it hasn’t really affected them, maybe would affect them if they still keep in touch with relatives back in China, or Taiwan or Singapore, or wherever they have their family. But for the most part, as long as you’re able to get the mission done, then I think you’re okay. But then at the same time, people are more willing to engage you because you’re in the military, and you’re an officer and say, I don’t understand this. Can you help teach me?
Jesse Lin 21:21
Do you feel like your upbringing as an Asian American specifically helped you in any way in the armed forces? Like, was there something that you brought to the table that you didn’t see in your classmates or colleagues?
David 21:36
For me, it’s about the community. And I think that’s what I bring to the table. It’s all about how the team can accomplish and win together versus just one person. Because I think we do have that capitalistic mindset because we’re a capitalistic country of like, me, me, me, me all the time. But I have focused on the team that I’m with, or that I’m leaving, and making sure that every one of us wins. Because I think if every one of us wins, then we can part paths and continue that line of goodness and paying it forward learning and teaching other people on the way.
Angela Lin 22:13
Okay, so I think we are just about ready to move into our closing fortune cookie section. And for full transparency, the question we had prepared is not applicable anymore. We’re gonna ask you what the coolest thing is that you’ve ever flown but obviously, that is not applicable anymore based on what you said, so I think maybe a good alternative is like, what’s the coolest mission or like the you’re most proud, mission or project that you you’ve been a part of, while you’ve been in the forces thus far? Sounds like you have a lot of cool things ahead. But you know, thus far,
David 22:52
Yeah, I’ve been, I’ve been really fortunate to be a part of a lot of cool missions. I will say that the coolest aircraft that I’ve flown in is an F-15. I received an F-15 incentive ride when in Virginia when they were still stationed there at Langley, and rollercoasters have not been the same since then. So we pulled up 8.4 G’s, that was the maximum that we pulled, it was a crazy amount. It’s a workout to fly in a fighter aircraft, you respect those guys and girls. And so the coolest mission that I’ve been a part of is probably when I was in Korea. So I lead a team of 60 people. And whenever we’re trying to get the mission done, everyone has their own individual, I guess, individualistic characteristics. I went through a lot in that because I was leading young people, older people with families, from all kinds of different backgrounds. But at the end of the day, I try to use that as a strengthening piece to the team to say, this is what we need to do. We’re all going to come together no matter what, because I experienced, you know, I’ve been in teams where they’ve been fractured a little bit. But in this case, because I’m the boss, I set the tone. So we all agreed to work together. And we had a pretty tight knit family because not only because of how we were but because the situation was so dire, we didn’t know what’s going to happen ever, every single day that really helped grow the team. And I think when I know a lot of them are going to be friends for the rest of their lives because of what we had to go through. I’m really proud of them. Because we earned a lot of awards. We didn’t do it to earn awards or anything, but just to grow and help teach them and then leave from Korea and then spread their knowledge. They have a lot of credibility because of what we went through.
Angela Lin 24:45
Well, thank you for joining us. And if we didn’t already say it, thank you for your service, because it’s so you know, it’s kind of like I don’t have enough words to say to thank people that are in the forces because it’s a – has a lot of sacrifice and like a lot of people aren’t willing to sign up for. So I’m really thankful for you and everyone else in the forces. And thank you for joining us today before your first day as a major.
David 25:15
Thanks for having me.
Jesse Lin 25:17
Well, thank you listeners for joining us. If you have any questions, comments or feedback for us or for David, please feel free to reach out to us and reminder that we’re still looking for listener stories submissions, so write us in about whatever experience with this topic you have, or whatever you want at telluswhereyourefrom@gmail.com