Categories
Uncategorized

How Drugs Made a Positive Impact on my Life Outlook

[00:00:00] Angela: All right. Hey everyone. I’m Angela Lin

[00:00:02] Jesse: And I’m Jesse Lin. And welcome back to another episode of, But Where Are You Really From. This week, we’re going to take another journey back into the fun, fun mind opening world of substance usage. Um, we both recently watched Nine Perfect Strangers. And I don’t know if you guys have watched it, but the series it’s kind of like a slow burn, right?


Full Transcript (Note: Transcribed via AI, may contain errors)


[00:00:27] Jesse: Like you’re kind of confused as to what’s happening at first. And then it gets like really, really crazy really quickly. And there are like many things in there where you’re, where based off of my personal experiences. I’m like, oh yeah, that’s it. But then there are like many other things, right. I don’t think that’s how it works like exactly. So we thought we would just have another exploration into our own experiences. I’m like, what seems true versus like, not really reality from, from the series and kind of like end with a little bit of insight or digging into like why substances are still so maligned sometimes and like why only certain people seem to have access to them.

[00:01:11] Angela: Yes. And before we get into all that, I think it’s important to go through like a plot synopsis type situation. Because many people may have heard of it and like the title, but you probably don’t know what it is unless you watched it. So it’s a Hulu show and it stars Nicole Kidman and like a shit ton of big actors.

[00:01:31] Angela: Melissa mcCarthy, whatever that guy’s name who’s from like Boardwalk Empire and like all these huge, the tall guy who plays a football ex-football player

[00:01:41] Jesse: Oh, yeah.

[00:01:42] Angela: He’s like super famous. And then anyways, there’s like a shit ton of famous people in it. Um, so you’re like, okay, a list cast must be something. Right.

[00:01:51] Angela: Um, and then I remember I watched the preview and I was like, what is this? Because it’s like, Nicole Kidman walks in or like hippie mysterious hippy, beautiful goddess. And she’s like, I’m here to cure you. I’m like, what is this? It’s about drugs, for sure. Um, and basically it’s like this really fancy, luxurious retreat spa retreat thing, but no one really knows what they’ve signed up for.

[00:02:18] Angela: And like spoiler alert, essentially, they get like, kind of, um, unknowingly dosed with mushrooms. Um, psilocybin and I think other things later on as well, uh, but basically, yeah, it’s this kind of. It’s a little kooky, the show. Um, and they got a lot of things wrong. Like I think I’m just diving right in from the plot synopsis onward, but I read a bunch of, I mean, I was fascinated because I obviously I did some of these retreats and not to the same level of like, uh, extravagance as they had on the show.

[00:02:55] Angela: That was kind of crazy just for rich people kind of thing. But, um, so I was curious as to it, to see if they would like, get it kind of right. It’s not a lot of people like other psychiatrists and like people who use psilocybin for like real, you know, medicinal and therapeutic purposes wrote up a bunch of articles afterwards.

[00:03:17] Angela: And they’re like, you know, I mean, I guess it’s good that they’re, they did show some like positive benefits to using the medicine to go like process trauma and like past bullshit, but they’re like number one rule. If you were actually like a practicing facilitator is that you would never, without the person’s consent give them this medicine. So that was like the first big no-no.

[00:03:42] Jesse: Also like, there’s a part where she partakes in, in the substances with the people that she’s supposed to be leading them on a journey on. And she’s like, I’m so I’m so committed to you guys to make this work that I want to do it with you. And I was like, no, like that’s the worst thing that you could possibly do. Like, like I think there are some general rules regarding um, harm reduction when you’re doing substances, it’s like always do less than you think you should do, because you can always do more and you should always try new things for the first time in like a really safe environment with a babysitter that’s not doing the same thing. And so it’s like rules number one and two are like completely shattered as you, as you go through the series. But yeah, it does get like pretty, pretty nutso.

[00:04:34] Angela: Well, and let’s back it up a little bit, because we did have a, we’ve had a previous episode where we’ve talked about our respective experiences with substances and we’ve used them for different purposes and we’ll get into that.

[00:04:48] Angela: Um, but for those who aren’t aware, because it is like, Some people are like becoming more familiar. Other people still kind of don’t know too much about the prop, like potential of psychedelic medicines. Um, so there’s definitely like party potential, which we can discuss. And then there’s also like therapeutic purposes and it’s becoming it’s legal in some states and counties. Um, for example, it’s legal in Oakland and the bay area, um, where my practicing person is based out of. Um, and it’s, it’s been shown to have like actual proven benefit on trauma. Things like PTSD, like depression you know, really hard things to get through that. Like, usually it would require a lot of years of therapy or like being on big pharma drugs for a long time.

[00:05:48] Angela: You know, things you don’t really know. Um, and so from that respect, I’m happy that this show exists because even though it was like kinda out there and like painted some things in a negative light, they did show it like there is real benefit that can be had here.

[00:06:04] Jesse: That’s a really good point because when, and when we’ve talked about this before, like growing up how substances are positioned in like, uh, you know, your normal education is that they’re dangerous. You don’t want to do them. And that’s always like, it’s a whole, it’s the whole idea behind like teaching apps, absence only as a way as a way for, to not have as a way of birth control. It’s like, it’s just not effective. Like eventually people will figure, like, be in the situation where they have to make the choice of whether or not to do the substance.

[00:06:34] Jesse: And it’s better that they understand what are the rules to doing something safely rather than to not understand what to do at all when they’re, when they’re in that particular situation. So yeah, it does. I, it is really great to showcase it in a light other than it’s like, just something dangerous or like you shouldn’t ever do it.

[00:06:53] Jesse: And, and it’s interesting because, uh, many of the characters have that reaction at first when they find out that she’s dosing them. Yeah. We don’t want to do this. Like, we don’t do drugs. Like this is not us. And then I think as they reflect on their journey so far with the substance, they decide they opt in, they make the step to say like, okay, I’m going to continue this treatment.

[00:07:15] Angela: Yeah. And I will offer, like, I think one of the big reasons that those characters did eventually opt in and that people in real life opt in to these kinds of things is that if you’ve ever experienced. In some way, you know, that like one of the biggest kind of benefits in the moment is that it like reduces your inhibitions of you’re like not so concerned about, you know, how you look, what other people think about you?

[00:07:44] Angela: Like all the, like past grudges that you’ve had, all this kind of baggage that weighs us down on like a daily basis. That kind of dissipates when you’re on these types of medicines, because it really just allows you to, well, you know, for depending on what your environment is and how you’re using it for, if it’s for some sort of like therapeutic purpose, it is like, it takes you so inward that you were just like connecting deeply with what your true thoughts and beliefs are, um, not hindered by like the surface level bullshit that we tend to grasp onto tightly on a daily basis.

[00:08:24] Jesse: Yeah. And I will say like, I, from my experience, how it, how it plays out for me is like, when I’m on certain things, it makes me so present. And like, it’s not just that sometimes.

[00:08:37] Jesse: Um, you’re thinking about like, what other people, how other people might perceive you. But even, even sometimes I’ve noticed in therapy and stuff. Like I’m not even aware, you’re not even aware you’re holding back. Like you’re holding yourself back and you don’t know it. And both what I’ve noticed is when you’re so hyper present on some of these substances, when you do that, it creates just like a little bit of dissonance.

[00:09:02] Jesse: But you’re so aware of what’s happening in your body and your feeling in your mind that you’re, you can immediately, oh, wait, something feels a little off and then you can pick up on what that is like much more quickly with much more clarity than, than you normally are with all of your life, thinking about your schedule and what people, dah, dah, dah, and all that stuff.

[00:09:20] Jesse: So, yeah, I definitely agree like it, that that power to ground you in the present helps you really notice your own positive and negative emotions much more effectively.

[00:09:32] Angela: Yes. Yeah. It’s also something I’m like, I’m often jealous of that. I can’t like figure out off the substances, you know, like just in like daily life. Right? Because we are then so obsessed with like, I’m obsessed with like being right in this argument that I’m having versus like peeling that back, that pride back and like being like, why am I actually mad right now? It’s just like hitting a cord of some past, like, you know, thing that happened to me that I’m carrying into this conversation.

[00:10:02] Jesse: And I think it’s, it’s also like, it’s hard to, there was a moment the other day where I just had like, uh, like I was having a good day and then like I started doing, I started working out and then I just started to feel really down. And it’s even really hard sometimes to explain what that actually is, where you’re feeling down.

[00:10:25] Jesse: Just your sad. Is it anguish? Is it desperation? Is it depression? And it’s so hard to consciously feel into what that is because naturally it’s something you want to shy away from, right? Because it’s such a negative feeling and you’re like, I don’t really want to explore this much further. And I think that’s what makes it, what makes it really hard to do.

[00:10:45] Jesse: And I really had to like sit there and be like, Ugh, God, this sucks. Like, why is it, what is it? What is it? This like, which of these words is it that I’m feeling. I mean it’s, it’s hard work. Yeah.

[00:10:57] Angela: Yeah. Um, we’ve both received clear benefit from having tried different substances. Um, and I think something that we wanted to talk about was why we feel like the perception around drugs.

[00:11:11] Angela: This catch-all word of drugs, um, is so negative in today’s society or has been for decades. Um, when number one, that word just like is so far reaching. It like encompasses so many, very different types of substances that it’s kind of not fair to attach this, like clearly negative associated word with every single thing that has some effect on your brain on your body, on your whatever. Right? Um, so I think that’s number one. It’s like, it’s all miscategorized to begin with. I think there should be like a different word that is, um, associated with things that are like, quote unquote bad versus things that have actual like potential benefit. So for example, I think, you know, when we were growing up obviously marijuana had like a different reputation back then and was being villanized and it’s, you know, now times are changing. People are seeing the benefit of that, but that was one of like the main, like bad drugs back in the day. Um, but the things that persists that are like clearly bad for people are like alcohol.

[00:12:30] Angela: Yeah. Tobacco heroin, you know, there’s like real bad drugs. I would say.

[00:12:37] Jesse: That’s not legal though?

[00:12:39] Angela: I’m not talking about legal stuff. Oh you want to talk about legal stuff? I just finished the series. Dope sick also Hulu original, Oxycontin is a fucking, you know, murder, murder, drug. Um, and that’s legal, you know, but I’m not talking about legal.

[00:12:55] Angela: I’m just talking about like anything that can be called a drug. Right? And there’s like, clearly, seriously bad shit. And then it’s like, you, you’re going to throw in like drugs that have been proven to cure PTSD and trauma big and small in the same category? I just think that’s like unfair to have the same name attached to it.

[00:13:19] Jesse: Yeah, I do. I agree with you. And I think that the way that- the way that scheduling. So the different schedules of drugs works is so antiquated and it doesn’t really make sense. And the foundation of it is kind of like flawed because, and y’all can fact check me on this, but I kind of understood like this whole war on drugs thing came out of like um, in the 1960s, they came on the federal government’s push to try to ostracize the whole like hippie youth movement because they were pushing back against what the federal government was doing abroad militarily. And so at the root of it, the whole scheduling and, um, illegalization of drugs to begin with was never about protecting people from anything.

[00:14:08] Jesse: It was like a political agenda. So then you have this system that’s built on that and people just keep adding to it. So it’s like a fiction that eventually evolved itself into like a hard, fact. And of course like, because people are thinking about it that way, it becomes the case where people are like, oh, it’s all just drugs and it’s all just bad.

[00:14:29] Angela: Yeah. Well you tell a lie enough times it sounds like the truth. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I totally agree. The government thing and like corruption and, um, a hidden agendas is such a big piece of like how the drug industry is currently working. I swear to God. Hulu is like upping their game so hard. All these shows, but Dope Sick was incredible. Highly recommended. It’s so fucking good, but, um, that that’s, uh, you know, look into big pharma and Oxycontin, and it’s just like government in bed with big pharma. You know, there’s so many reasons why the drug, the legal drugs that exist today are what they are. And a lot of times it just has to do with like, who’s gonna make the most money.

[00:15:15] Angela: And who’s giving kickbacks to, you know, government or former government officials who have power. As opposed to like, what’s actually beneficial for people. Um, so that’s just like, it’s so sad that the case.

[00:15:29] Jesse: Yeah. And the rub of it is that like, because these, because many of the substances that we’ve talked about in the past are on the most restrictive schedule, you can’t even use it for research purposes to prove that they have benefits for people.

[00:15:45] Angela: Talking about kind of like this unfair classification and then it’s accessibility or lack thereof to people in general and specifically communities.

[00:15:56] Angela: I mean, certainly we’re not historians, but we we’ve come across some things here and there about the history of drugs and how they’ve evolved. And I think one thing that bothers me is, um, you know, through watching like certain documentaries and whatnot, the drug war on drugs, like kind of evolved into also making it different, depending on which class of people you are, like what access to drugs you have, and then thereby what punishment you would get. Um, and so one of the things that like always stuck out to me was the difference between cocaine and crack. And I read, it was part of, um, a book I read right after the George Floyd incident, it was called, uh, it’s called Biased, I think. Um, but it was written by a, um, uh, professor of psychology and she was like, oh, yeah well, the cocaine versus crack thing was essentially, it’s just like, oh, give all the crack to the poor black communities and give cocaine to the white communities and give cocaine this, like slap on the wrist punishment, but give crack users like jail for life type of punishment, even though they are at the core of the same substance, it’s essentially, one’s like more refined, I guess?

[00:17:20] Angela: Right? So they, it costs more. So the cocaine versus like the cheaper version for poor people. Yeah.

[00:17:26] Jesse: Yeah. I know it is an, even when you’re talking about the same substance, like depending on your race and your social class economically, you can get very different punishments. Like if you think about oh, the whole, the whole stereotype of that, like white reefer bro in college, that person is never going to jail for that.

[00:17:48] Jesse: But if you think about like a black person being caught possessed with marijuana, they’re probably going to go to jail for that. So even within the same class quality of substances, how people are penalized for having access to them wildly, wildly, um, different, which is why it’s such a, you know, when I stumbled across the partying scene, it was like, so strange to me at first because you, because everybody that almost everyone that I’ve encountered so far is of a comfortable or like ultra comfortable, um, uh, economic class.

[00:18:28] Jesse: And the access that we have is basically like not unlimited, but there’s like not really a restriction. I have not heard of anyone being penalized severely in any way or even potentially caught. So it’s kind of just like, there’s this hidden, permissability like you’re protected if you have a certain amount of influence monetarily, and then if you don’t, you’re kind of just like screwed.

[00:18:57] Angela: Yes. Yeah. I mean, there are so many things to unpack there. I feel like when it comes to the substances that we’re using, the ones that have like more psychedelic, um, type properties, I think there’s even like another level, which is that they cost more. But also it’s not desirable. It’s not being like marketed, you know, word of mouth wise, too um, socioeconomic classes that are like on the lower end, because it’s not the kind of stuff that like gets you to, I mean, it’ll give you a high, but it’s not necessarily known for being like a great high every time. Um, which is often the reason that people will do some of those like worst drugs, like heroin or whatever it is, because you’re just like, you know, that you’re going to get like out of your mind and like out of your current situation, um, psychedelics have the potential of giving you a really good time or like a really bad time, depending on where your mindset’s at. Um, so I don’t think I’m not even sure, like people on the lower, you know, poor people essentially are aware of psychedelics or want psychedelics to begin with.

[00:20:10] Jesse: That’s a real, you know, that’s a really interesting question and I wish that we could talk to somebody who had that experience, but like, I remember I had a conversation with my, my ex barber, the barber at the time. Um, and he’s, he was pretty young. He’s like 21, 22. And he would talk to me all about that all, all the time about like smoking marijuana, blah, blah, blah.

[00:20:31] Jesse: And I would tell him like I would go out and party and all that stuff. And he’s like, oh yeah, I could never do that stuff. It’s like, so scary. I feel like I would be turned into somebody else. So I feel like even amongst people who are more like, I can’t say my barber’s like working class, but it’s a more like a menial job. Right? And so even among those people, I wonder if they. Uh, that class of people, like, I wonder if, even if they think of those drugs as something dangerous, like, because they’re because of the negativity associated with it. And then like also whenever there’s like a high profile incident related to drugs, it’s always like something that’s something related to that, like ecstasy or Molly or something, something like that, where it’s really visible for people.

[00:21:17] Jesse: And then it like scares them off. So I don’t even know if they would be interested as you mentioned.

[00:21:23] Angela: I think there’s a lot of misconception around these types of substances. Oftentimes when there is like a negative high profile thing, it’s not just what that substance it’s like, it was cut with something else or yeah, because I mean, ecstasy is a different thing because MDMA is a chemical, you know, chemically created thing versus like psilocybin. I never know how to pronounce it, but anyways, like mushrooms or ayahuasca for example, are from mother earth it’s from the planet with like no artificial stuff done to it.

[00:21:58] Angela: So you actually. At least for those drugs, you cannot overdose. It’s impossible to overdose. Actually. You can have a really high dose and have like a really deep trip, but you can’t die from it. You can’t like it’s impossible actually. So if something bad happens, like the, the bad shit you always hear is like, someone killed themselves after they like did ayahuasca or whatever. Right. That’s because they were mentally unstable going into it and actually unlike Nine Perfect Strangers before you do these types of substances for therapeutic purposes. Cause that’s when you’re doing like super high doses, um, you get screened, hardcore, hardcore. Like I got screened prior to arriving, um, you know, like weeks before then I got there, I’m already fucking there. Right. And they’re like, we need to talk to each person for like 30 more minutes. Yeah. The Peru trip. And they asked you all about like your past history and like what trauma you may or may not be bringing in. Have you had suicidal thoughts? Like, because all this stuff. It doesn’t necessarily kick you out, but like, if you do have that history, they have to take extra care because if you’re exactly, it’s honestly, the stuff is like, it’s kind of like surgery on your mind, right?

[00:23:21] Angela: Not your brain, like your mind and your spirit. And so if that’s fucked up in a way that like, can turn really negative. That needs to be addressed versus like, just like free for all kind of thing. And that is where a chaos could happen. But like, I would guess that the people who hear like really bad things is because they hear it from like a friend or a friend, a friend, a friend who done it out of the wrong context altogether or mixed with something else that makes it like impure.

[00:23:52] Angela: And then they’re not in the right mindset when they take it. So then they have a shitty experience. And then they tell everyone they know don’t ever do this thing. Right. As opposed to anyone who’s ever done it for a therapeutic purpose has heard the phrase set and setting. So you have to have the right mindset and you have to have the right setting the environment that you take it in. And if either of those things are off, you are fucked. So if someone was like, oh, I’m just going to take shrooms. And they’re like in a chaotic environment, they have like, no, you know, mental, emotional preparation to like dig deep. They’re going to have a bad fucking time.

[00:24:30] Jesse: Yeah. Yeah, I think that really, so there’s this trope, I think, from the sixties to keep people away from doing acid cause that was a big thing. And it was like, girl took acid and like jumped out the second story window or something like that of her house. And it’s just so funny because like, that, I that’s just like, generally not the experience, like thinking about being on acid and then doing something like that seems so much that you would never, like, if you’ve done acid, you’d be like, I would never, never do that.

[00:25:05] Jesse: Um, so there’s definitely a lot of, like, I think fear-mongering around that. And then like, to your point, like with a lot of the psychedelics, like you can’t overdose really, and those drugs don’t directly cause, like they don’t cause you bodily harm. Like you’re not going to somehow, like your heart’s not going to stop like your liver is not gonna fail. Where, where you, you can cause harm, as you mentioned is like, you can, if you take a lot of psychedelics, you can. You can have temporary psychosis, like temporary out of your mind. And especially if you already have a mental illness, are you already using some other, uh, prescription substance or somebody can really fuck around with you?

[00:25:44] Jesse: Like in Nine Perfect Strangers, Carmel. She went crazy. Like, so there’s this character, um, who was on uh, what was it called? Psychotropics or something? So it was an anti-psychotic medications and they put her on the, the like, um, cocktail of like mushrooms and acid. And she just went like nuts and like, uh, it was a little, a little dangerous.

[00:26:09] Angela: that’s a huge no-no.

[00:26:10] Jesse: That is also one of the harm reduction things is to make sure whatever you’re taking is not contra indicated by something else that you’re already on. So for example, if you are on SSRIs or MAOIs for depression, you can’t really do Molly. Like it won’t really do anything for you. And in fact, like it could be potentially harmful if you’re combining the things.

[00:26:33] Jesse: So it’s always really important to, um, verify that you’re not doing anything that’s dangerous together.

[00:26:39] Angela: I’ve never had a question. The source of the substance I’m taking and the people I’m working with always have screeners. Like we were just talking about like, are you on other drugs, um, medicines, you know, prescribed medicines or whatever.

[00:26:53] Angela: Right. They always ask you, like, what else have you taken? Or what do you take daily? Like that kind of stuff, because they, they would definitely you know, raise flags or like cancel whatever you had planned, if it is going to negatively combine in a way that no one wants that’s right.

[00:27:11] Jesse: I will say something that is, um, so like one random tangent and one thing that was coming off of that is that like, I do think that a lot of people are really like a little bit too trustful of their sources.

[00:27:27] Jesse: And this is like, um, demonstrated by recently the cocaine that’s been sold in New York city. A lot of it’s been laced with fentanyl and like a lot of people in the gay community, even being like messaging people, like do not like buy the stuff off the streets, like without testing it, because it could have fentanyl in it.

[00:27:46] Jesse: And one of the things that I’ve noticed is that most people kind of just like take the word of whoever they’re buying the substances from like the whole word of mouth thing as is, um, as like the stuff is safe, but the things that your dealer can get, whatever they’re getting from a number of different sources and that source could change or they could get a batch that’s not great. So one of the things that’s also really important that I don’t think many people do is to buy your own testing kits like reagent kit. So you can test all your substances. It doesn’t tell you like the density of the material that you have. So like, if you get a pill or something, it won’t tell you like, this is like, oh, a hundred percent of that.

[00:28:28] Jesse: Or like 80% of that. But at least you can see based off of the reactions, whether or not it is at least the class of substance that you intended to buy versus something completely different. And whenever I have stuff, I always test it because you never know where it’s coming from. Like, what’s touched it.

[00:28:45] Jesse: Like who’s been involved in the production of it. So, that’s also something that’s very, I think from harm, harm, reduction perspective, like really important to do to make sure you’re not just another safety to make sure you’re ingesting, like what you think you thought you got. The intention of how people access drugs really affects their relationship to it.

[00:29:06] Jesse: And I think no matter which socioeconomic class you’re in, if you’re in a bad place and your reaching out to drugs as a way to patch a problem in your life, it’s going to become a problem in your life. And I think that what it has, what, what it tends to do is exactly exacerbates problems in people’s lives, where they already have a lot of problems.

[00:29:34] Jesse: And that tends to be people who have less means, right. And they’re using these substances as a way to escape their current reality. And so I also think that it inherently is a little unfair because like where we’re using it to do things like achieve self-actualization or like find inner truths, or like just enhance our daily fun.

[00:29:58] Jesse: And for some people, like it’s something that they’re using to plug like problems in their lives. And, um, I, and I do think that that is what causes some of the – some of the attribution of drugs is like something really bad because people only think about it like that, where it’s like, oh, I’m using it to like escape some facet of my life that I really dislike or like cannot change.

[00:30:24] Jesse: But it doesn’t have, have to be like that. Like your relationship with drugs can be positive, just like your relationship with any people, like your relationship with any person can be really great or really bad, depending on your intention and like how you feel towards that relationship.

[00:30:37] Angela: Yes, absolutely.

[00:30:39] Angela: Yeah. The, the, using it as a form of escape versus to find inner truths on whatever. I, I completely echo that. And I think that also goes back to why. People who have heard of bad trips say that and like, uh, have, uh, you know, visceral like antagonism towards psychedelic type drugs is because it’s a completely opposite way of how they’ve thought of using drugs, because even marijuana, which is legal and has good things for sure is a dissociative.

[00:31:15] Angela: So it is to help you kind of like disconnect from your everyday life. Although not in as harmful of a way as like meth and other shit like that. Um, versus psychedelics is completely turning inward, um, and you cannot escape yourself during that experience. So it is very scary if you’re not ready to turn inward, which a lot of people aren’t ready to

[00:31:42] Jesse: Or if you’re feeling destructive about your life. I mean, like if you, if you go into any substance, trying to use it to be destructive like to your life, to yourself, to anyone else. That’s what it’s going to do. Like if you drink destructively, it’ll destroy your life. If you smoke destructively, it’ll destroy your life. If you use psychedelics destructively, I’m sure it’ll destroy your life because you’re going to be, you’re just going to be forcing yourself into all of those terrible things, those intentions that you came into doing the substance with.

[00:32:13] Jesse: And so I think that that is a huge, um, Uh, huge, like a different way of thinking, uh, thinking about it then I think most people think about, because most people think drugs bad, but it’s not the drugs themselves necessarily they’re bad, but how people want their relationship to be with the drugs, because you could have a positive relationship with substances.

[00:32:34] Angela: And then the last thing I want to say about accessibility is kind of like crystal balling. I think we do this quite frequently, but I, I personally have had so many like insights and benefits to having psychedelic experiences from like a therapeutic setting. And as we talked about it is changing. Like there are clinical studies happening now, and I don’t know if you’ve seen, but there’s actually like, um, I’ve been getting served ads, which is like indicative of who they think their target audience is. But, um, I’ve been getting served ads where, um, there’s like a uh, you can get like a virtual therapist essentially to prescribe you ketamine and to facilitate ketamine induced sessions with you. Um, and it’s legal obviously because they were advertising it on like Facebook and Instagram. Um, and so I think it’s, you know, location-based, it was probably like based on where I was viewing, um, the platform at the time, but it’s rolling out that it’s like being more accessible, although it’s still incredibly expensive. And so I wanted to talk about like, if you think, and if you think yes, when you think this type of access from like a therapeutic standing is going to become more accessible to your every day person. Because I constantly think about how lucky I am that I have that kind of access that most people do not.

[00:34:09] Jesse: I want to say never. I mean, like. Never say never, but we’ve talked about mental health in the past. And generally speaking while it’s become a much more popular topic and less stigmatized in the American public, from the medical coverage perspective it is still probably -like if I look at my health insurance plans, it’s probably the weakest and least covered thing that I have in there.

[00:34:40] Jesse: Um, mental health, mental health. Yeah, because, and I want to make a distinction between, um, preventative health, as we’ve talked about, which is like therapy, um, working through your emotions before they come to a head and, uh, repairative health, which is like psychiatric coverage, like psychiatric coverage, I think is covered really well.

[00:35:02] Jesse: But that’s like, when you. That’s like, you know, I think we both agree. Like I think you’re definitely, you’re more like Eastern medicine focus and like, we both believe in some of those things, but where we align is that I don’t agree necessarily like if you’re depressed, the right answer is to go to a psychiatrist and get antidepressants right away.

[00:35:22] Jesse: It is a solution, but it’s not the only solution. And for me, it’s like, if you could solve a problem without medication it’s probably safer to do it that way. You know, you never know like how long-term medication will affect you. Um, and it, I think it’s very telling to see that the system will support payments towards fixing the problem, but not towards preventing the problem.

[00:35:47] Jesse: And I think that’s the main problem right now is that therapy and these kinds of treatments aren’t seen as preventative uh, things that could impact your physical health. And so they’re not covered. And so if we’re talking about us who are working in like high tech jobs with relatively good insurance, like the fact that we don’t have that coverage means that most people won’t.

[00:36:14] Jesse: And like, even for me, when I’m trying to find therapists- impossible to find it in, in network, therapist. And it’s because the insurance pays them so little for their services. So they’re like, fuck it. We’re not going to take the insurance. You’re going to pay me the full, the full session fee. Um, and so for me, I think it will be really, really difficult for everyone, for me to envision a situation where everyone will have access to some kind of advanced preventative therapy like that when they can’t even get access to basic preventative mental health stuff.

[00:36:47] Angela: Yeah, you’re right. You’re right. Um, wow. Yeah. Our health insurance system is completely broken, completely broken. And when you said, like to fix a problem, rather than prevent it, they don’t even fix the problem. It’s a patchwork thing.

[00:37:02] Jesse: Well, you know, you fix it because you fixed the, the symptoms of it, but you don’t treat the underlying problem.

[00:37:08] Angela: Yes, exactly. I think I agree with you from a health insurance standpoint, I’m like getting things covered. I hope that like access in terms of like how you have the option to go see a therapist and pay full out of pocket. Um, I think that kind of access, I hope will exist. Um, if someone, if anyone is willing to pay totally out of pocket, they could get access to like a psychedelic therapeutic treatment, hopefully in the next 50 years is what I hope, because right now it’s like very few and far between that you could even get that access if you want it to pay for it. But that doesn’t mean it’s fair yet either if it still costs, like, I don’t know, 200 plus a session or whatever, that’s incredibly in accessible to most people, but at least I would hope that the first step being that it’s like coverage wise of like available around the country.

[00:38:12] Angela: I hope in the next, like 50 years.

[00:38:14] Jesse: That anyone anyone can access it.

[00:38:16] Jesse: Okay. Yeah. Got it. Okay. So we’re going to transition over into the Fortune Cookie section of the pod, because we always like to end on a sweet treat and I guess we should pick one thing to evangelize and what we think it’s why we think it would be good for the world?

[00:38:33] Angela: You mean one substance?

[00:38:35] Jesse: Yeah. Um, maybe I’ll go. I haven’t tried all of the substance, but I have sampled different ones. Um, I would say probably what’s the easiest and most accessible and what will bring like quick joy to people’s lives is probably MDMA. Like it, I don’t think I’ve ever talked to anyone who took MDMA and didn’t have a good time.

[00:39:04] Jesse: And like, didn’t love being in that experience. Of course, like I’ve talked to people where like, okay, I did it and then I have like suicide Tuesdays afterwards. It’s like, when you come down from all the serotonin and you just feel blah, um, but for the most part, everybody I’ve talked to has been like, great!

[00:39:21] Jesse: And um, for me, it definitely made me open my heart a little bit more. And I, and it’s, it’s very common with this substances that like, it doesn’t last forever. Right? Cause then your, your daily life kind of like sucks that feeling out of you, but it does give you like a little bit of like internal energy and love for a good amount of time.

[00:39:46] Jesse: And, um, it’s pretty risk-free if you don’t have any heart conditions. So I would say like, I think it would bring the biggest benefit to people around the world, because what I feel is the biggest problem with people around the world is like lack of love and empathy towards others. And this is something that can really open that up in everybody so that you can like better connect to other people.

[00:40:12] Angela: Lovely.

[00:40:13] Jesse: I just want everyone to do Molly and have fun.

[00:40:18] Angela: Um, well, I completely agree with you. MDMA has a very fond place in my heart in terms of the therapeutic sessions that I’ve had. It’s one of my favorites that I’ve had as well, because it is completely love-based and it is so easy to like, like you said, it’s like the easiest entry point, right?

[00:40:38] Angela: It’s like, you shouldn’t have any fear that you’re going to have a bad trip because you’re not going to have a bad trip. Yeah. You’re only going to be super positive and like, feel completely accepted. So I agree with you, but I guess I have to say something different so that we have variety in what we’re saying.

[00:40:55] Angela: You know, on the complete flip side, I will say ayahuasca because it’s not as accessible, um, for many reasons. And in some ways it is -so actually we didn’t tap into this, but one of the things I find a little ironic in terms of like the accessibility factor is like, uh, things like ayahuasca and mushrooms come from very ancient, like rituals from indigenous people that have been around for forever. And so the substances traditionally have only been accessible to like local people from those areas. And they’re not rich people. It’s just like, you know, the like shaman in these tribes. And then they facilitate for like the rest of the tribe kind of thing.

[00:41:43] Angela: And so, uh, from that respect, it’s like hyper accessible. So if you are from like the Amazonian area or like Mexico is where a lot of the mushroom, um, rituals first came from, you know, anyways off track. But, um, ayahuasca, I think is, would have the, one of the biggest benefits for people if they were willing to accept it because it is one of the hardest substances for people to say like, yeah, I’m going to go in because even if you have like a positive, um, hope for what you’ll get out of, uh, psychedelics, ayahuasca has this reputation as being like truly jumping into the deep end and it is, um, but that is because it also has the potential to pull out like the biggest insights and to help you work through the biggest traumas that you have, and we’re going into woo-hoo territory completely here, but also if you are kind of like open to that, that aspect ayahuasca is the one that you will feel the most connected to like mother earth and the like oneness of everything. Every living thing, um, psilocybin mushrooms has similar properties. They’re both psychedelics. DMT is still like the same active base of both, but each one has like a different kind of personality attached to it. You will feel. Uh, mushrooms are kind of like fucking Rascals over here. Like they will kind of like, fuck with you a little bit.

[00:43:19] Angela: Like, you will feel like there’s some like person like the character in here like fucking with my, my thoughts over here. And then like their little, you know, Rascals really. They’re kind of like they are trying to like exert power and like, um, be entertained a little bit there’s themselves versus like, ayahuasca the spirit of the drug has always been referred to as like mother ayahuasca and it’s almost like mother, mother earth as well, right? So there’s this like maternal figure that is wanting you to have these breakthroughs and to help like embrace you to get these things off your chest. And so it will take you to like the deepest fucking corners of your traumas, but you will come out, you know, completely just like with insights that you couldn’t have gotten to otherwise. I think MDMA, I definitely got through many insights as well, but it just wasn’t as, it’s not as deep because you also don’t suffer as much. You don’t suffer at all with MDMA.

[00:44:25] Jesse: There’s not work involved, but I think the key part of what you’re saying is there’s work involved.

[00:44:32] Angela: So much work, so much work, but the reward is worth it.

[00:44:36] Angela: Um, and that’s why every year, you know, um, places like Peru and other countries along the Amazon that have access to ayahuasca, that is one of their main tourism like channels is people wanting to do psychedelic, uh, retreats there because there is this draw to like you know, I think some people go to it because they’re so desperate.

[00:44:59] Angela: Like maybe they have tried like, uh, years of therapy and like pharma drugs and nothing has worked, or they’re just like more spiritual and like open to that stuff. But like those who are ready to jump into the deep end and then what they get out of it, it’s just like, you can’t compare. So I, if people had like the openness and willingness to try ayahuasca, I would say.

[00:45:23] Angela: It’ll change your life and you will not be addicted because I think, like we said, all those like bad drugs it’s because addiction is also like a major factor of those, right. You’re trying to, you’re using it to escape and then you get addicted to that thing. Ayahuasca and psychedelics you will not get addicted because there was so much work involved emotionally and mentally that you’re going to be wrecked afterwards.

[00:45:49] Angela: You’re like, you’re going to be spent from like an emotional standpoint and you’re like, I need 10 years away from this thing. So, but like the insights you get will, will span, you know, those 10 years it’ll be worth it. So yeah, if people, were willing to.

[00:46:05] Jesse: I mean, I’ve never done ayahuasca but I can definitely corroborate that like psychedelics is work.

[00:46:10] Jesse: Like it takes a lot to process what your brain is doing and it’s not, it’s fun, but it’s not something that you want to do, like all the time. Like skydiving. It’s fun to do, like once every year, a couple of years, but you’re not going to do it like every day. And it’s a thrill but you’re not going to do it every day.

[00:46:31] Angela: Yeah. I mean some people might, those adrenaline junkies. That’s different. That’s a whole other addiction.

[00:46:38] Jesse: That’s the case for anything, some people might do anything all the time.

[00:46:43] Angela: Well, I swear to God, you will not do ayahuasca every day.

[00:46:46] Jesse: I’m sure there’s somebody who’s like micro-dosing ayahuasca all the time.

[00:46:51] Angela: Ah, okay. More power, more power to you person out there.

[00:46:56] Jesse: Well listeners, if you enjoyed this episode, if you have something to tell us about your own personal feelings about substances, your own experiences, or you just have some questions about how our own experiences went? Please feel free to write us in at telluswhereyourefrom@gmail.com. the you’re is y-o-u-r-e.

[00:47:15] Angela: Yup. And come back next week because we’ll have another fresh episode for you then. And until then bitches.

Categories
Uncategorized

The Risky Business of Trying New Things


[00:00:00] Jesse Lin: I’m Jesse Lin

[00:00:01] Angela Lin: And I’m Angela Lin. And welcome back to another episode of But Where Are You Really From. Today we’re talking about taking risks. And why it’s so hard to do new things. Even the ones that we are interested in trying. So like say a friend says a fun, new activity that they’ve done, but it sounds kind of scary to you and then you just don’t do it even though you’re like, that could be fun.


Full Transcript (Note: Transcribed via AI, may contain errors)


[00:00:28] Angela Lin: Um, why is it, do we think that that is so difficult for us to do.

[00:00:34] Jesse Lin: Well, first things first, I think that everyone has a different risk tolerance. I think you listeners have probably heard us discuss this in the past and probably heard me say many times, like I’m very low risk person. So it’s not that I don’t like trying new things, but I’m pretty averse to new things where there’s some kind of like risk involved.

[00:00:55] Jesse Lin: Um, so that’s the first thing is I think that everyone just has like different tolerances for trying new things. But the, the second thing that I want to say is that it’s hard to try a new thing. Like, I feel like, I feel like in the pandemic, so many people were doing so many new things that it felt like it was really easy to try a new thing.

[00:01:15] Jesse Lin: And sometimes it is, but like some of the things were really hard. Like people were baking like sourdough breads. I’m like, where did you get the fucking yeast from? Like, how did you feel like it was like a lot of stuff. So I think that actually just trying out new things is quite complicated in and of itself.

[00:01:33] Jesse Lin: Like some of the things that you want to try are actually more difficult than, than you envisioned them to be. And then, you know, the third thing is just that like, laziness probably like for me, like, it’s definitely, there’s a factor where I’m like, I’m very comfortable with my daily routine and I know what I’m doing.

[00:01:52] Jesse Lin: And even though it may not be the most exciting or new or whatever it, uh, is comfortable and comforting to me versus like a new thing is like, Ooh, this is like a little bit uncomfortable. It may be dangerous depending on what you decide to do. Like if you wanted to like, learn how to blow glass or something or a weld, for example.

[00:02:14] Jesse Lin: Um, but yeah, I think those are, at least for me, those are probably like the top three reasons or thoughts that I have about it. What about you?

[00:02:21] Angela Lin: Um, for me, I agree with a lot of what you said. I think laziness is certainly part of it. If it’s like a complicated thing, like you said, like sometimes it’s like, I don’t know.

[00:02:35] Angela Lin: It wasn’t a pandemic thing. It was just like a couple of years ago it started getting like millennial popular to get into like crocheting and like that kind of stuff. And I was like, that seems hard. I don’t want to like buy all those things. And like, after read these books how to like learn the patterns and stuff.

[00:02:53] Angela Lin: So I think there is, um, a level of like, that sounds marginally interesting for me but depends on if it’s like interesting enough to get me to bother learning new skills. Um, that’s definitely part of it. I think the other part is, as you get older, so like you said, everyone has a different risk profile to begin with, but I do think the general trend is like, if, once you get older, you also start getting more and more risk averse.

[00:03:23] Angela Lin: So like when you’re younger, you definitely are like whatevs. Like I’m going to just try it out and like scrape your knee and, you know, get back up. But as you get older, you’re like, Hmm, I’m not sure it’s worth it. So I definitely, for myself have noticed, like, it’s harder for me to want to try new things as I’ve gotten older.

[00:03:44] Angela Lin: But luckily for me, I have another counter push wishes. Ramon was constantly pushing me to try new things. So it’s kind of. Um, yeah, it’s counteracting my trend towards like, let me just stay in my little comfort circle.

[00:04:03] Jesse Lin: I think that’s great. And maybe like you exposed another point about why people don’t try new things is that it’s very rare that not very rare, but like there aren’t that many people.

[00:04:12] Jesse Lin: That you’ll know that are constantly trying new things. And those are usually the people where you would try new things with, because it’s like, oh my God, we’re like doing a thing together or taking risks together. Like, it feels a little safer to do it with a friend or somebody, you know? And there are not that many people trying new things. But on the other hand, I want to like, maybe walk that back and say like, I think my friends do do interesting things that I don’t do, and I could potentially also do those things if I was interested enough to just be like, hey, take me to your pottery class or take me to your volunteering thing or what, what have you, so

[00:04:48] Angela Lin: I think that is one of the keys though, the interest level, because like, it could be something you, you think is interesting from like a talking point standpoint or like good for them, but it’s like super interesting for them, like a passion point for them.

[00:05:04] Angela Lin: But when you try to think of like, would I be as interested in this if the answer’s no, you’re not going to bother with taking up the extra steps that it would take to like, learn that thing or like commit to practicing that thing. And that was honestly, even when I was younger, that was something that I learned pretty early, which is like, I have like light interest in many things, but not enough.

[00:05:31] Angela Lin: I think you’re talking about this, but like not, you know, um, bother frankly, to like want to put in a ton of hours to practice a thing, to get like really good at it. Like, I always feel really bad for my mom because I had a, you know, when I was learning to get into like bands and music and, uh, like thinking about A&R and stuff, I was like, oh, I’m going to learn guitar.

[00:05:53] Angela Lin: I don’t know. I don’t know if you remember, but I tried to learn guitar for a while.

[00:05:57] Jesse Lin: It was short-lived ?

[00:05:59] Angela Lin: It was yeah. Kind of, I mean, it was basically like. I think I went to lessons for at least a year, but it was once a week. And like, I was so lazy about it. Like the guitar teacher would be like, oh, practice this song all week.

[00:06:17] Angela Lin: And like, we’ll come back and like, play it for me. And then I’ll assign you another song and I was so lazy. It was like, I couldn’t, I could not get myself to do it. And I had like, I do it like the hour or two before class. I’d like procrastinate, practicing, and then he’d show up and be like, you obviously haven’t been practicing.

[00:06:39] Jesse Lin: Musical instruments and stuff is definitely like one of those things you really want to have to do.

[00:06:45] Jesse Lin: And I remember this very clearly because like with piano, I did want to do it because there were, there were moments in time and I don’t mean like once every month or so, but like a few times every week where I was like, I really want to play piano. And so I was like, although I didn’t practice as much as I should have, I was practicing because if you don’t practice, you can’t play it, then it’s not fun. But with violin, I never took lessons. So I was just kind of like bullshitting my way around, based off of what I knew from what I knew about music from piano and like the violins only for fun. Oh my God. Five strings, five strings.

[00:07:25] Jesse Lin: It was not as complicated. Um, but eventually it caught up to me because like, it just didn’t practice violin at all. Cause I didn’t really care about it and I wasn’t good at it. So then it was like, yeah.

[00:07:37] Angela Lin: Okay, well, clearly we know what happens when we’re not truly that interested enough to take those risks and commit to those new things.

[00:07:47] Angela Lin: Let’s switch it up and go into something that we have recently tried and decided was worth our attention and effort. Jesse?

[00:07:56] Jesse Lin: Okay. Yeah, I will start. Um, I just quit my job. I’m really excited. It’s like a little bit of, okay. It’s like a little bit of both worlds because I actually really, um, when I started this job, I really enjoyed it and I really enjoyed the people who work in my function.

[00:08:16] Jesse Lin: And generally, like, I think the company is like a genuinely good place to work, but I’ve gotten to a point where I just don’t feel inspired is maybe the wrong word, because it’s like, who , there are a few people inspired by work, but I just don’t feel any like spark for the work that I do anymore.

[00:08:33] Jesse Lin: And, um, there are also some frustrations with just, um, managing some inter-team things. So it’s like, I think it’s time for me to go, but it’s such a risky endeavor right now because I, in my head I’m like, I’m like, there’s a million things that could go wrong. Like it’s going to be like fully remote so you’ll never have the chance to really like establish yourself with people in person.

[00:08:55] Jesse Lin: So you kind of really have to. Lean in even more than you do in a, in a regular office environment. And I was like, this is work that maybe I don’t really have a lot of experience in. And the position is like a step back in terms of moving from like manager to back to IC. But then I was like looking at the whole thing and, um, what really.

[00:09:17] Jesse Lin: I think convinced me was actually one of the interviews that I did with my soon to be manager, which is like a technical interview. And it was a lot of fun because he gave me basically like a problem solving question and I was like, work. Like my brain was like, and I was like, okay, this is it. Because this is the kind of like excitement that I had for my role at this last company originally, like really, really, um, Using all of my bullshit knowledge to come up with something real and amazingly it worked.

[00:09:53] Jesse Lin: So like, yeah, no, it was, it was a lot of fun. So I’m glad I’m taking this leap of faith to join a new company and new role during cOVID and I’m sure you’ll hear from me again in a few episodes, if it doesn’t work out.

[00:10:10] Angela Lin: Uh, well, I’m sure we won’t hear from you then, because I’m sure it will work out.

[00:10:16] Angela Lin: Congratulations

[00:10:17] Jesse Lin: Thank you. Are you doing any big new, you have many big new things!

[00:10:20] Angela Lin: Oh, you know, just, I quit my job to do this podcast full time NBD. Yeah, we, uh, we alluded to that last. Or the first episode back about me quitting my job. I don’t think I had plugged that my plan essentially is to like work on this thing full-time. I feel like this is definitely a huge risk for me in a lot of ways. I mean, it’s not just changing jobs. It’s like getting out of corporate America and like just focusing on a self-driven thing. Um, and it’s definitely very hard for my parents to understand like straight up every few weeks. Including today, my dad will text or call me and be like, do you have money?

[00:11:08] Angela Lin: Like, are you sure you’re not poor? He was like, genuinely concerned.

[00:11:13] Jesse Lin: Oh my god I would be like excuse me. Do you know what my husband does for a living? Like…

[00:11:20] Angela Lin: I mean, yeah, it’s kind of that part. It’s hard for them to wrap their heads around, I think because I’ve never, I mean, Of the two siblings, I’m the first one to get married. And so, and then even prior to getting married, like they hadn’t been used to either a child having like a really long-term significant other that’s like a true partner

[00:11:47] Jesse Lin: But this is what your dad wanted for you, a rich honeybuns. This is like his fantasy fulfilled.

[00:11:56] Angela Lin: No, I think his fantasy fulfilled is someone rich from a rich background and he can understand. Like old money inherited from an empire, but this is like crypto money. He doesn’t understand, he thinks it’s fake money. So, you know, there’s that, um,

[00:12:15] Jesse Lin: It’s a big leap. Yeah. I don’t know if you guys know this or not, but Angela is like the pants, the shirts, the socks, the shoes, like the makeup of this whole thing.

[00:12:26] Jesse Lin: And I’m just. The voice that sometimes the voice – I’m the talent.

[00:12:31] Angela Lin: You’re the talent. Exactly. I’m I’m everything but talent. Second secondary.

[00:12:39] Jesse Lin: That’s not true. you’re half of it. You’re half of the talent you bring, bring all the hard skills and the talent. But yes, very big risk. But it’s funny because we were just saying, as you get older, we take less risks, but it seems like both of us are like, we’re ready.

[00:12:54] Angela Lin: Yeah. Well, I think we’re also past the, um, we had, we respectively had our midlife crises, um, a few years ago. Right. And I think we’re like, well past that hump to maybe we’re at the point where we’re ready, more ready to take new risks, to like, you know, open up that next chapter to something else.

[00:13:15] Jesse Lin: Yeah. I don’t know.

[00:13:18] Jesse Lin: I don’t think I had the crisis that you meant. I think I am currently experiencing a slowly rolling crisis, like a small tsunami that has yet to hit anything.

[00:13:33] Angela Lin: Those are dangerous.

[00:13:35] Jesse Lin: Well, we’ll pray that it’s a hit anything. Um, yeah. Okay. So we’re talking about, um, existential crisis.

[00:13:42] Jesse Lin: So like life things.

[00:13:44] Angela Lin: Yeah. That’s the other kind of, part of this is that because I no longer work for a company. We’re going to be a remote for the next year. Um, and we’re going to be living in Europe for some time. And then Asia, for most of 2022. And for this podcast, that also means that I like one of the things I’m interested in doing is like, meeting more people on the ground, in the different countries that we’re going to be in and like interviewing them about their experiences.

[00:14:15] Angela Lin: Cause obviously everyones upbringings and surroundings create like a very different shaping of your life. So I’m, I’m looking forward to meeting those folks, hearing those stories and bringing them to this pod as well.

[00:14:31] Jesse Lin: That sounds really exciting.

[00:14:33] Angela Lin: Yeah. Yeah. Well, hopefully you’ll be part of it. It kind of depends on time zones. If it’s like 2:00 AM for you.

[00:14:40] Jesse Lin: I’m sure we’ll make it work. You can always just splice in B roll of me being yes.

[00:14:46] Angela Lin: Oh, that would be really funny. I like that. I think I’ll just have you in the corner, like not even a third, I’ll just have you like, like an emoji, that pops up,

[00:14:57] Jesse Lin: Or like a bad lip reading situation where I could just be like, oh my God I could -no, that would be rude. I was going to say, I could do a bad sign language, but that, that would be rude.

[00:15:05] Angela Lin: No, I don’t think so. Yeah. No other life experiments. I mean, I don’t want to get too much into it because we want to do a whole episode about this, but obviously a big part of our respective experimentations recently have been substance related.

[00:15:24] Jesse Lin: Yes, I agree. Um, I also say, I would say like, for me, this has been really also connected to a regression in age, uh, because I’ve been partying a lot more and I have this desire to go out and like meet people and go dancing and stuff like that, which is really, really different from what like week Jesse wants to do, like week Jesse work week Jesse wants to eat pizza. Workweek Jesse wants to watch TV. Work week Jesse wants to sleep. That’s all he wants. Oh, that’s those are the three things that he wants. And like this new, this new me party me is like on the weekend, emerges and is like, let’s go out, let’s go drinking. Let’s do crazy stuff. Like, so it’s a little bit of a, a little bit strange because they’re quite different.

[00:16:16] Jesse Lin: And then, um, what usually happens on Fridays is they get into a really big fight on what they want to do because one person just wants to go to sleep and the other person wants to turn up. So, yeah, it’s been interesting.

[00:16:28] Angela Lin: Well, I think what you described has like two things I want to dig into one is like, You kind of just sound like a bear that’s hibernating during the week to like come out hard on the weekends.

[00:16:42] Angela Lin: So that’s one and the other is I actually disagree with you that you didn’t have a quarter-life crisis. Cause I think your quarter life crisis came when you broke up with your last boyfriend, because you essentially had to become a completely different human, because the reason you said that you regressed quote, unquote regressed in age is because if we haven’t already talked about this before, when you’re in that other long-term relationship, you essentially like jumped forward into like old married couple land. Many many years, and you didn’t do the partying and like the crazy young stuff while you were actually in your early and mid twenties.

[00:17:26] Angela Lin: So you essentially are like reclaiming those years now.

[00:17:31] Jesse Lin: Yes. Yeah. Um, yeah, no, I need to you’re right. I need to correct that statement. I didn’t have it at the same time that you did. You said you had yours, like when you were like 25, 26, mine didn’t happen until like two two years ago. Yeah. Two years ago.

[00:17:49] Jesse Lin: And yeah, it was very much like lesbian bed death into reclaiming my time. And that’s, I’m at reclaiming my time currently, still.

[00:17:58] Angela Lin: Do you think, because you said both of our life crises happen at different moments, but they happened, you know, I would still say that it’s in the quarter life range.

[00:18:10] Angela Lin: Right. Um, but both of ours happened after significant things happening. So yours was like post a significant breakup and mine was post like post MBA after like getting into my first post MBA job and kind of realizing like, is this it? Is this what I worked so hard for? Like, I’m not sure I feel fulfilled, you know?

[00:18:33] Angela Lin: Like, do you think that people are only willing to make big pivots in life when something big like that, like that shakes up your life?

[00:18:47] Jesse Lin: Ooh, that’s a good question. Look at you. Barbara Walters. Or more accurate, Connie Chung. Um, are people willing to take bigger risks after bigger events in their life? I think it really depends on what kind of event it is. Like I feel like if you are doing something really happy, really fulfilling, like you’re taking a huge risk to do something that you’re gonna be really psyched about, you may not take another big risk after that, or if something like really big and nice happened to you, I’m not sure you would take another risk after that. Because for me, I’m thinking about it, like, okay, if this really great thing happened to me, I’m going to be pretty risk averse afterwards because I want to hold on to this, this, um, this great thing that just happened to me.

[00:19:38] Jesse Lin: But I would say the opposite is true and maybe that’s kind of. What happened to us? It’s not that anything bad happened or break up is not great. Um, and neither is, uh, is this it moment in the mid twenties, like, they’re not great, but it’s not like you got hit by a bus and survived or something like that, you know what I mean?

[00:19:57] Jesse Lin: Like, so it’s like a situation where it forces you to rethink about your priorities in life and whether or not what you, where you are currently makes you happy. And sometimes I feel like when you come to that realization, you’re like, oh my God, like this isn’t for me or this isn’t happy for me. You’re more willing to take a bigger risk to try and get out of that situation because you’re like, holy shit.

[00:20:22] Jesse Lin: Like, I didn’t realize it, but I just spent like the last X, years of my life doing this. And it was like terrible. And I don’t like it. And like, what the fuck? And so you’re like, all right, now I’m going to do this like big leap of faith to try and break myself out of that, or at least try something that’s like outside of the comfort area that I’ve been in.

[00:20:41] Jesse Lin: And so I would agree with you when, it’s the situation where you are having like a point of reflection about your life and you realize that you are not satisfied with where you are or where you have been.

[00:20:56] Angela Lin: Yeah, because I’m thinking back on, like every time I started a new job or like decided to move or like do something big.

[00:21:04] Angela Lin: And I do think it always came after some sort of reflection of like, oh, I’m dissatisfied, like taking that time to re like really let that sink in. But I’m just posing discussion points, which is essentially like, I think you and I feel similar in that sense. Similarly in that like something happens that makes you reassess.

[00:21:25] Angela Lin: But I also know people who like have been discontented for some time and they just won’t make any moves. Like, and it kinda actually like bothers me quite a bit. When I meet someone that’s like constantly bitching about their current situation, but doing nothing to change it. Do you know people like that? And then if so, like what do you think is kind of like the difference that why wouldn’t they, if they are, it’s like staring straight in the face at them of like, you’re unhappy why wouldn’t they do something about it?

[00:22:03] Jesse Lin: Okay. I’m probably gonna get this completely wrong. So anyone who’s a psych major can like read – call in that’s right, right. Write us a DM, email us. But I feel like one of the fundamental things that people are averse to is change. And most people, I would say like, if you’re a really contented person, I’m not sure why you would go looking for change because the circumstances and things in your life make you content.

[00:22:31] Jesse Lin: So you like don’t need to search for anything else. Um, I would say like people who are, what’s the difference between people who are discontent and don’t do anything and people who are, um, discontent and they do something, I just feel like it’s just that they haven’t reached the point where they’re going to tip into action or that’s like the first thing, because I also, like, I think when we were talking about this, like there is like an inflection point where you’re like, this is enough is enough.

[00:23:00] Jesse Lin: Like I’ve been unhappy. Like I need to make a change and I’m going to do it. Um, so they haven’t reached that point yet. Like they know they’re unhappy, but they haven’t gone to the place where they’re like, I feel so much about this and I’m clear on what I need to do next that I’m going to go do something about it. The other thing is just that.

[00:23:20] Jesse Lin: Yeah. Like I was saying, like, people don’t like to do, they don’t like to change things that are big in their lives. So like a career, a job is a very big thing in everyone’s life. How you not die and eat and stuff like that. So like, even though people may be unhappy, they might not want to change it because it’s familiar.

[00:23:41] Jesse Lin: Like, you know, they understand, they know what the pond is. They know how big it is. They know how to swim in it. Um, you know, it gives them fundamentally what they need. Right. They may, they may have insurance, they have a salary, they may have other benefits. Um, it’s a lot of effort actually to change jobs. It’s like not easy.

[00:24:03] Jesse Lin: So I think like it’s like people who haven’t reached the point and it’s people who are like discontent, but they don’t want to put in the effort to change that. Like they’re happy to be with that discontent. And they think they will have, they will be more discontent by trying to get their way out of it, if that makes sense.

[00:24:20] Jesse Lin: So that’s what I think, at least for me, because I do, I, there are individuals like that where I’m like, oh my God, You’ve worked in this position for how long? Were you worked at this company for how long? Like, are you sure you want to be here? Like, I don’t know. Um, so I, I think it’s kind of like that, for me.

[00:24:38] Angela Lin: My mind went into a very dark place while you were talking.

[00:24:42] Angela Lin: And I was like, this is like an abusive relationship. And like people who can’t, who find it difficult to leave an abusive relationship, it’s like, it’s obviously bad for you, but it’s really difficult to leave that kind of situation.

[00:24:56] Jesse Lin: Yeah. I mean, I it’s really, I think it’s really tough, especially, you know, like we’re getting older, right?

[00:25:01] Jesse Lin: So we have friends who have families are currently planning for you’re planning for a family now. And I think if you think about security for your family, it can be really hard to leave, right? Like if you’re working at, let’s say a big tech company where the benefits are really cushy, you have insurance covered for everyone in your family.

[00:25:20] Jesse Lin: You might have all these like side benefits for like parental care nanny, baby, whatever. It can be really hard to leave, even if you don’t particularly like the job, because it’s like, I have to think about not just what I want currently, but like, what are all these things that are like covering my family and like long-term data, yada yada, yada.

[00:25:38] Jesse Lin: So I think that can like really contribute to a situation where a person has discontent, but they’re not going to move out of where they are because there’s a lot of risk involved. Involved In doing so that doesn’t just implicate themselves.

[00:25:53] Angela Lin: Yeah, actually that makes me look at things in a different lens, which is not just the risk tolerance or not.

[00:26:01] Angela Lin: It’s that I think a big reason that people accept discontentment for themselves is that their priorities have changed in life, which is like, what is the most important thing to me right now? Maybe it’s not my job. Maybe it is my family, um, and their wellbeing and being able to provide for them. I mean, cause I’m, I’m like thinking back on the people where I have been like, why don’t you just change your job?

[00:26:23] Angela Lin: And when I think about their lives, I’m like, yeah, it’s very obvious that they have like another big priority in their life that is like more important to them than their career. So they will continue to just be like, I don’t love it. I’m not that happy with it, but I’m not going to like, do anything about it because I’m spending my energy elsewhere and like making sure that that part is fulfilled, which is cool too.

[00:26:45] Jesse Lin: It’s it’s hard to say sometimes like just kind of face value when you look at people that you may or may not be super familiar with and like their choices. So I’m just kind of like, I know where I’m going. I know where I’m at and that’s all that really matters.

[00:26:59] Angela Lin: Okay. So let’s also speculate on a why else people might not make these big life decisions.

[00:27:06] Angela Lin: And I think one of the things we’ve talked about is that these are such big moments or big decisions in life. Things like what career you’re going to have, like. Is going to be your partner in life and like these big choices, but there’s no north star or like guidebook, or it’s not like our parents really like taught us a certain direction to go or anywhere else really. I think that the US and the American mentality of like, it’s your freedom, like freedom of choice. Like you it’s your life. You’re so independent. Like figure it out. It is hard, especially when a lot of those things you have to figure out when you’re really young, like working back on the career, right.

[00:27:51] Angela Lin: It’s like, before you even know what career you want. You have to decide what school you’re going to go to and what career, like, sorry, what major you’re going to see in that school. And you decide that shit when you’re like 15 or 16, right. Because that’s when your like high school counselors kind of up your ass about like, you got to decide and you work it all back from there.

[00:28:11] Angela Lin: It’s like, what did I know then? And no one’s telling me any which way it’s just like, Hmm.

[00:28:17] Jesse Lin: Yeah. And I don’t feel like I don’t feel like the current, I mean, like we went to pretty good schools. Yeah. Like, and, but one of the things is lacking I feel like, is like, it doesn’t, nobody really explains to you, like, what’s the impact of making the selection that you’re making currently.

[00:28:34] Jesse Lin: And like, what are your options per se? Like what you can do life-wise, it’s kind of just like, okay, go to college and then you’ll figure it out in college. And I’m like, well, I didn’t really, like, maybe I kind of did, but like, it’s not like I suddenly met someone like a career life fairy at college to like sort it all out for me.

[00:28:56] Jesse Lin: So yeah. I have to agree with you there. And I just think like, it’s, it’s what you said. Like there are so many big decisions and important things that people are expecting teenagers to figure out that it’s like, mind-boggling like, for example, filling out the FAFSA, like what the fuck man. And I recently I was on Facebook recently.

[00:29:19] Jesse Lin: And I think, um, friends of AOC, somebody, one of the electeds was like, oh, we’re hosting a zoom with people from the DOE explaining like common problems with the FAFSA and like how you can avoid them. And I was reading and I was like, I was looking at it, and I was like, why do you have a zoom on this?

[00:29:36] Jesse Lin: Just make it easier to fill out like what the F like, so I’m like, this is it’s crazy like that, that you have to do all of these big life things. They’re super complicated. Nobody really explains to you the implications of all of these things. And it’s kinda just like, given that some by D will tell you, but like, as we’ve discussed in the past, like our parents aren’t gonna know that they didn’t grow up here.

[00:30:00] Jesse Lin: They didn’t go through that process. And even for people whose parents did grow up here, like the process to get into a college now, it’s so convoluted. They’re probably like, I don’t know what this fuck. This is like, so it’s like, To your point, like freedom, like you get the choice to try to figure out what’s happening, but it’s so complicated like who, who among us actually figured out all of it. Like I know some people did, but I would say the large majority of people didn’t and so I think that’s probably why, like it’s complicated.

[00:30:32] Angela Lin: Yeah. And for those that are not US-based, or didn’t have to go through this process, the FAFSA is essentially is like very complicated form application form or something that you have to fill out before you go to college that essentially determines how much federal aid you get.

[00:30:50] Angela Lin: Um, like if, how much you qualify based on your parents, like income levels and like other factors for determining how much you qualify in loans versus grants. Um, and yeah, it’s, it’s an incredibly important thing to fill out because that determines how much out of pocket you have to pay for college, which can be hundreds of thousands of dollars now with today’s price tag on education.

[00:31:15] Angela Lin: But there is no easy way to figure out how to fill that shit out. It’s dumb. It’s very dumb.

[00:31:22] Jesse Lin: For all of our foreign listeners. That’s right. Hundreds of thousands of dollars for your undergraduate education, depending on..

[00:31:31] Angela Lin: And the one where you have the choice to choose what it was if you came out with a poetry major and find no jobs, cause you realize that’s not what you really wanted to do forever, you’re a little screwed.

[00:31:45] Jesse Lin: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just, I feel like it’s, it’s hard for people to take risks because the environment of the US at least for me, is not conducive to making it easy to take risks. So like, even if you think about like, uh, American dream life path, like college, so we just talked about college, it’s a clusterfuck, like to try to figure out. Okay like after college, what might you, what might you encounter? Uh, you might get married or you might buy a property. Like those are one of the things, right? How was the marriage process complicated?

[00:32:19] Angela Lin: Uh, more complicated than I than I thought, honestly. Yes.

[00:32:24] Jesse Lin: Yeah. So, okay. A complicated, complicated buying a property. So complicated, complicated, complicated, like, and so it’s like, these are the things that everyone is like, oh my God, that’s that’s for me, it’s my life.

[00:32:38] Jesse Lin: Everyone’s going for these things. But all of these things are so hard to do. You would imagine that like, after so much time and so many people yearning after these things, it would be easier to do these things, but in fact it’s much harder. So it’s just like, yeah, of course he wouldn’t take a risk because it’s like, I barely understand what exactly is happening in this complex financial transaction, which will fund where I live.

[00:33:05] Angela Lin: Another really big, important one is personal finance, which we’ve talked about in the past as well, because I think how you invest your money is also a big way that can factor into like how strapped you are in your life and like what kind of job you need to have or whatnot, because if you know, how to invest your money and it does well for you. You are just like, you have more freedom to do other things, but no, one’s out here teaching personal finance to 18 year olds or whatever. So, and I think a challenge with like all these things, like we’re also in the information age where like all this information exists somewhere, but it is like, it’s really hard to find like the right, like the, you know, Best source of information for each of these things to know who to trust.

[00:33:58] Angela Lin: I think that there’s like a pro con, right? With the idea of like being able to Google and YouTube, anything is that you can’t necessarily know, which is like the best source of information. You can find everyone’s opinion and like every little thing, but is it the best thing who knows?

[00:34:15] Jesse Lin: Yeah. And again, it’s just not easy.

[00:34:19] Jesse Lin: Like it’s a little complicated to understand how to properly invest. So like, I, again, like with risk taking, I think these are all the reasons, um, that you don’t, that people in general don’t take as much risk. Like I’m thinking about it. Like, if I knew that I would always have a place to live, that I would always have health insurance, I think I would take more risks with the things that I was doing in my life.

[00:34:43] Jesse Lin: Like I would probably change jobs more. I might do some other things because I’m not scared that I’m going to be like homeless or not be able to see the doctor because of it. Um, but it’s, yeah, it’s just, I think it’s like all of these foundational things are like difficult to understand. And so it can cause people not to take as many risks, I feel like.

[00:35:08] Angela Lin: I see where you’re coming from because a lot of our kind of like risk averse, um, foundation comes from worrying about like foundational things like housing and just security. Yeah. But I think there’s also the other aspect, which like we’ve talked about with like Western versus Eastern and whatever, which is like American dream versus more kind of socialist things.

[00:35:33] Angela Lin: And I would argue the countries where you are guaranteed housing and health insurance don’t have that many risk-takers because they’re a little bit more content. So back to your original thing of like, don’t rock the boat when you’re content. There’s not a lot of risk-taking and like innovation from more socialists, leaning societies and America, where it is really uncertain, but it also means there’s a lot of like untapped opportunity because you don’t necessarily know where the opportunity is.

[00:36:06] Angela Lin: You have a lot of hustlers that are like out there trying to, trying to make it, and they do. You know, the ones who figure it out can make something of it.

[00:36:17] Jesse Lin: I don’t know though, that seems so harsh. Like it’s either like, it’s either like you have some safety, but you’re kind of maybe won’t do anything special or you might die unless you figure it out.

[00:36:31] Angela Lin: I mean, I don’t think you’re gonna die. I think that’s a pretty extreme.

[00:36:35] Jesse Lin: Okay. You might suffer some serious financial drawbacks, which could impact your access to housing and healthcare and all that jazz.

[00:36:45] Angela Lin: Life’s hard, man. I think the conclusion is life’s hard

[00:36:49] Jesse Lin: Why can’t we have both?

[00:36:51] Angela Lin: So knowing that all this shit is really hard to figure out what do you think you would have wished for, to have had when you were younger and kind of like not knowing a lot about these big things, like what would have helped you make those life choices better?

[00:37:08] Jesse Lin: Um, I, okay. So it’s really hard for me to say because I’m the kind of person that learns the best by doing something.

[00:37:15] Jesse Lin: And so like when I don’t do it, it’s naturally quite easy for me to forget like how to do it or why it’s important. So I think it can be a little bit difficult, but I just think like having more. Um, real representations of the impacts of the choices people make to go to, you know, to do certain like life actions and like explaining that clearly to you at key stages of your life would be super helpful.

[00:37:45] Jesse Lin: And I just think that we didn’t really have that. And it wasn’t quite easy to find. It’s like the thing, the way you’re saying about the internet, like the resources are there probably, but like you have to like do a little bit of more work to actually find the resource, which will help you do the original thing that you wanted to do to begin with, which is like pretty convoluted.

[00:38:07] Jesse Lin: So I think just like having more examples of, um, like what does happen if you go to uh, NYU for poetry scholarship, like what are the outcomes in a person? I think that cause you can, you can see the outcomes like on paper sometimes cause they list those things. But yeah, as an a person, I think it will be really helpful.

[00:38:29] Jesse Lin: And also not just those like really exceptional people, because usually like they might have that, but it’s like the person who came out and became the poet Laureate and I’m like, well, there’s one point laureate bitch. Like we can’t all be that.

[00:38:41] Angela Lin: Well, let me talk to all the other ones in their class.

[00:38:44] Jesse Lin: Yeah. Like they need more real examples of like people coming out and like what’s the average situation look like.

[00:38:52] Jesse Lin: Um, and also just to make things generally easier for everyone to understand, like Jesus Christ, like I went to college, I’m not dumb, but some of the things like you need to know, or like read to finance, certain things are so complicated that I’m like, of course people are iced out of certain things like if I can’t even understand it, how could someone who never went, who never graduated from high school, who never did all of this educational stuff possibly obtain that.

[00:39:20] Jesse Lin: It just is ridiculous. So. Examples easy.

[00:39:25] Angela Lin: Yes. Yes, absolutely. Um, for me, I also think, I think just better utilizing like the kind of courses that we had in high school. Um, what have been really helpful because thinking back I’m like, wow, who when’s the last time anyone restructured curriculum for high school?

[00:39:44] Angela Lin: Because if you think about it, things like home ec and like, um, what the fuck is that other one that, where you just like build things like, um, the workshop wood shop, wood shop and home-ec, can we talk about, they must’ve invented that back in like 1920, right? They’re like, oh, home ec is for women so that they can learn to be good wives so that they can learn how to sew and to cook because that’s all I did in home-ec and then wood shop is for boys

[00:40:09] Jesse Lin: You’re high school had that?

[00:40:11] Angela Lin: Yeah. Yeah. And an wood shop. I did both. Um, I don’t know. I, I was able to do both. And wood shop is for men because men are men only and do things like build things from raw wood and like from, you know, with their own hands. But like how useful is that shit right now? Versus like making everyone take a personal finance course.

[00:40:32] Angela Lin: So that they understand what money is and like even having a simulator of like, here’s fake money that like you can invest in a portfolio or like, you know, just put into a bank account or like do some shit, right that like simulates real life before you are in real life. Um, I think would have been incredibly useful.

[00:40:53] Angela Lin: And then I also think like in college is when internships were more of a thing. Right. But I think they should start that kind of stuff in high school, or like, Even if it’s shadows, shadowing type stuff, like, Hey, if you’re like marginally interested in becoming something like a businessman or whatever, look, what does that mean?

[00:41:13] Angela Lin: Like, I’m sure they can hook it up with like, someone’s parents, like a work in that company and you get to just like shadow for the day. You let like five high school kids, like shadow for the day, that kind of stuff. So that they get more exposure to like real life shit before they have to make it out for themselves.

[00:41:32] Angela Lin: Um, I think it’s just like your similar point of like, you know, more hands on and like just more experience. I think kids need to be more exposed to like the options in life and what it takes to live in a real life before they’re just like thrown out to the wind in college.

[00:41:50] Jesse Lin: So I will say I did attend like, okay so there was like an internship thing program that I did in high school and it was through some kind of like retraining program. Like it was for older people to retrain them for different industries. But if you were in high school, you could do it for free. And, um, but it wasn’t easy to like find it.

[00:42:11] Jesse Lin: Like I had to go seek it out because I was like, oh fuck. Like, I don’t know what I want to do with my life. And, um, I have to do these extracurriculars for college, blah, blah. Um, and it also, like there was, there was just a lot of effort involved, like w like you had to, I had to drive, like, I think all the way to somewhere far away, it was like not super close.

[00:42:31] Jesse Lin: And, um, yeah, so it was like not easy to access. Well, on that note, shall we transition to the Fortune Cookie? Yes. We’ll end on a sweet treat to show our commitment to this new groove of trying new things. We want to talk about something new that we’re going to try immediately. Um, so Angela, what’s something, are you going to try immediately?

[00:43:02] Angela Lin: In nine days? I am doing…

[00:43:06] Jesse Lin: …7 days

[00:43:07] Angela Lin: Oh my God, am I going to die what’s happening? Um, no. In 9 days I will be heading towards a silent meditation retreat that lasts for 10 days where I cannot bring anything, including a journal. I will give up my phone and other means of outside communication. And just meditate in silence for 10 days.

[00:43:37] Angela Lin: And we have an episode plan where we will debrief on what that was like, but that is my big new thing that I’ve never done that is scary to me that I’m doing imminently.

[00:43:50] Jesse Lin: Honestly, honestly, when you told me silent meditation at first, I was like, oh yeah, that’s cool. And I didn’t really, I didn’t really. I think that it was like, you cannot talk at all.

[00:44:02] Jesse Lin: Like I just thought it was like, oh, you have to be quiet when you’re meditating. Um,

[00:44:07] Angela Lin: I mean that’s true, but you’re also meditating the entire day

[00:44:10] Jesse Lin: That’s that’s the thing is when you told me that I was like, that’s crazy. I will lose my mind when I’m bored. I talked to my cat.

[00:44:19] Jesse Lin: I mean, I will talk

[00:44:20] Angela Lin: to myself in my head apparently. You know what I mean? Like, we’ll see how that goes.

[00:44:25] Angela Lin: How about you?

[00:44:26] Jesse Lin: Um, well I feel like I had a really good answer for this and then like, I forgot it. I think what I’m. Okay. So like I’ve been going through some like mood swings because it’s sad and cold here now. And also just like, um, my life has just been pretty stressful.

[00:44:43] Jesse Lin: But I’ve been trying to get more into this whole, like I’m sitting with my feelings thing, which is like, instead of trying to avoid negative feelings, I’m just trying to, I hate the word lean into it, but I’m trying to like, feel into it to try to not like understand it necessarily, but just to kind of like embrace it and like see where that goes.

[00:45:09] Jesse Lin: And I found that that works quite well when I combine it with like a physical, physical activity. So like if I go for a walk or if I go biking or something like that. So I think I’m going to do more of that when I’m feeling like not in a good mood, because what I found is like a lot of the times that’ll happen in the middle of the workday because I’m like frustrated something happens.

[00:45:30] Jesse Lin: But then like, I’m like, oh my God, I don’t have to have, I don’t have time. Like I have to sit your meeting, whatever. And then it just like, it just feels like I’m like crazy, like crazy. I just feel crazy. And I need to like physically remove myself from this space to go, like, to be able to like, hug that emotion without like exploding into a million pieces.

[00:45:51] Jesse Lin: Um, so yeah, I think I’m going to start doing that more. I did that today and it was very nice.

[00:45:56] Angela Lin: That’s awesome. That’s very mature and something that I need to figure out how to do myself.

[00:46:01] Jesse Lin: Honestly. I want to tell you like half the time I don’t do it properly. I, or I come back. I’m like even angrier.

[00:46:12] Jesse Lin: But yeah, I just think it’s, I’ve been trying to the whole idea of like, make space for emotions and like make space for things I’m like, okay, I’m going to physically make space and see how that goes.

[00:46:25] Angela Lin: Yeah, I like it. Okay. Well, we will debrief also to see if you’ve gotten better at that. After my silent meditation retreat weekend have a check-in point.

[00:46:35] Angela Lin: Yes. All right. Well, listeners, we’ve now come to the end of the episode and as always, we seek your feedback and your experiences. So this episode was about trying new things, taking risks, write us in about something that you’ve recently tried for the first time or something you’re so happy that you tried for the first time that you didn’t think you would do or something you immediately regret having tried, like, we want to hear it all. So write us in at telluswhereyourefrom@gmail.com and maybe we’ll share your experience on the show.

[00:47:10] Jesse Lin: It can be anything, we talked about big things, but maybe you tried concealer for the first time recently.

Categories
Uncategorized

Review: What Squid Game Tells Us About the World

[00:00:00] Jesse Lin: Hi, my name is Jesse Lin

[00:00:00] Angela Lin: And I’m Angela Lin and welcome back to, But Where Are You Really From?

[00:00:04] Jesse Lin: This week we’re going to talk to you guys about the Squid Game and why we think people are so interested in it. I know it’s like a little bit after the peak of the popularity, but I think it’s still really worth, um, the discussion to have, because I think that there’ll be like many more pieces of interesting work like that coming from Netflix and other streaming providers.


Full Transcript (Note: Transcribed via AI, may contain errors)


[00:00:24] Jesse Lin: In short, do you want to do this, the plot synopsis?

[00:00:27] Angela Lin: Yeah for those living under a rock and have not heard about Squid Game or you’ve heard of it, but you still haven’t watched it. Essentially it’s about people who are in so much debt that they’re like super desperate and this like mysterious person shows up, um, kind of like approaching each of these indebted people and offers them essentially to play games to win money and he starts off with something like very small. It’s a weird, like slapping game. You got to watch it to understand, but anyways, yeah. Simply enough that they’re like, Hey, I just won like quite a bit of money from doing this random, stupid game. Yeah. I’m down. So then they get this business card that they call a number and then they essentially get kind of like kidnapped-ey scenario.

[00:01:19] Angela Lin: And then they wake up all in like matching uniforms in some unknown compound. And they’re forced to play what seemed like childhood type games. But essentially when you lose you die.

[00:01:31] Jesse Lin: Yes.

[00:01:32] Angela Lin: Yeah but you could win like a lottery level money.

[00:01:37] Jesse Lin: Yeah. Yeah. So effectively it’s like economic Saw.

[00:01:43] Angela Lin: Yeah. Capitalist Saw.

[00:01:46] Jesse Lin: Yeah.

[00:01:46] Angela Lin: Sure and hunger games.

[00:01:48] Jesse Lin: Yes. It’s definitely – well I never actually finished watching all of the Hunger Games. Sorry. No, but I, I don’t know if it’s as gory as Saw, but there’s definitely some.

[00:01:58] Angela Lin: It’s fairly gory.

[00:01:59] Jesse Lin: Some people getting kind of like torn apart situation, but yeah, so, I mean, there’s like so many interesting things about it, right?

[00:02:07] Jesse Lin: Like that we could discuss because number one, it’s, I see it for a similar to kind of like Parasite capturing the imagination of the American public, because it’s a foreign film, but like a lot of people really seem to be interested and then that interest seems to just be like bubbling up from the internet ether.

[00:02:26] Jesse Lin: Yeah. And there’s also like, uh, I really other interesting aspects of it. Like it really, I think, points to and pokes at the whole like economic structure and like social equality or a social justice or whatever you want to name it. And also there are a lot of really hot people in the cast.

[00:02:45] Angela Lin: There are, and we, we have so many little like tidbits that we need to kind of dissect around that.

[00:02:51] Angela Lin: Um, but I think talking about. Like, why is that so captivating to begin with? I think we wanted to like speculate a little bit. Right. And I think you’re right. Like there is, there are some similarities with Parasite in that both are, are criticizing the like extreme income inequality in society and obviously both are set in Korea, but like it’s very extrapolatable to a lot of different societies and US included.

[00:03:20] Angela Lin: I know, I like to make up words. Maybe it’s a real word. I don’t know anyhoots. Um, So, so I think anyone who watched Parasite for sure, it’s like, okay, I can get down with this too. But like I said, it’s kind of like, there are so many parallels with other things. I already mentioned Hunger Games, but Hunger Games even is like a derivative of, um, what the fuck is that?

[00:03:45] Angela Lin: Japan, that Japanese movie that is Battle Royale. And they’re just like, there were a million of those types of shows and movies where it’s essentially like super dystopian, like winner take all like savage kind of battle Royale style. Um, so I think there was familiar tropes there. Um, but yeah. Why else do you think it was so…?

[00:04:13] Jesse Lin: Yeah, to echo what you’re saying is also like a very much like. The format blends so many things together that there’s something familiar to each of the, each person watching it. And actually, like I was thinking about it recently, and I was like, this is like Survivor but people don’t die.

[00:04:34] Jesse Lin: And so like having that like contrast, I’m like, oh my God, this is like basically Survivor and really the one difference is that people are murdered at the end of the challenges and stuff like that.

[00:04:44] Angela Lin: Instead of kicked off an island?

[00:04:45] Jesse Lin: Exactly. So it’s like it, I think it’s maybe people aren’t thinking about it actively, but they’re like, oh my, that, you know, they’re, they’re making all these connections.

[00:04:56] Jesse Lin: And I also think that timing has a lot to do with it. I was just having, uh this, discussion with my friend about K-pop and like K-pop has been around for a while. Cause I remember when I was going out, um, at the end of high school, like when I was 18, Uh, there was like a gaysians only like night and they would, it was, they would play like K-pop pop and like other stuff like that too.

[00:05:17] Jesse Lin: But like, I feel like those artists kind of missed the huge popularity wave, even though they were already there. So I think this is the same kind of situation where it’s like, right format, right theming, right timing. And that’s what really drove everyone, you know, to be, to be really so interested in the series.

[00:05:39] Angela Lin: I think you’re right. Um, and we did, we have an episode about BTS and K-pop, if you haven’t already listened to that with two huge BTS army folks anyways. Um, so I agree. I think the, the like really mainstream wave of K-pop right now is helping push Korean content forward. Because I think you and I have talked about this outside of the podcast, but like we both enjoyed Squid Game.

[00:06:08] Angela Lin: I think most people enjoyed the show, but because it is very similar to a lot of different things, it’s kind of like a Frankenstein of like familiar things that exist, uh, Hostel is another obvious kind of parallel. Um, for those that have watched that, but because it’s Korean, I think that’s pushing it forward because you and I have talked about you’re the one who recommended it to me actually.

[00:06:36] Angela Lin: But Alice in Borderlands is a Japanese show and it came out before Squid Game and it was phenomenal. It was so fucking good, but it’s very similar. It’s like also battle Royale type and like weird games that people have to play at. And if you lose, you die, like kind of similar core concept, but it was not blown up in the same way.

[00:07:00] Angela Lin: Um, I think I’m seeing it serve now, if you watch Squid Game, like it’s, you know, it’s a natural next step, but it’s just surprising to me because -might get a lot of shit for this. But arguably yeah, I think Alice in Borderland was like a lot better than Squid Game from a whole package standpoint, but no one heard of it.

[00:07:21] Angela Lin: It was kind of weird to me that that was the case.

[00:07:24] Jesse Lin: It’s a little bit, for me, it’s a little bit different because I enjoy Alice in Borderland better because there’s a little more mystery. It’s definitely more like sci-fi. Sure. Yeah. And I don’t think they fully explained like why all the people are there, but in this one, I feel like one of the main things that people are jiving with is they’re like, oh, I see myself in some of these characters because everyone is… well, I can’t say everyone, but like most people are struggling in some way. Actually, a lot of people are struggling economically. So it’s like that one thing where they can be like, you know, like, I feel like metaphorically, my life is like this. I go into work, I do some things. And then at the end of the day, I’m like, I feel like dead or I’m like not rewarded or it’s like kind of like hamster wheel kind of situation.

[00:08:12] Jesse Lin: So I feel like that’s what a lot of people are potentially connecting with.

[00:08:17] Angela Lin: Yeah, I guess you’re right. Because the Alice in Borderlands plot is just like suddenly and you don’t know why it’s happening at all. Yeah. Versus, yeah. The interesting thing about Squid Game is that all these people opted in to take part in this crazy, battle royale scenario even re opting in right? Because there’s like early on thing where people are like, what the hell we’re going to die, I don’t want to play this. And then people opt out, but then they actively opt back in because they’re like, what else do I have going on? Like my life can’t be worse. And I think to your point, everyone has different struggles, but I think everyone has felt even to a small degree that kind of like desperation and hopelessness that would put you into that kind of position.

[00:09:04] Jesse Lin: I mean, like everyone’s spent the better half of last year trapped. Like it either, you know, it could be, it could have been just like mental trap, but like, you know, some people are like, a lot of us were like physically by ourselves for a long time. So I think there’s definitely that like feeling, um, of just like you can’t escape and maybe that’s, what’s really bringing people into the, into the thing and keeping them there.

[00:09:29] Angela Lin: Yeah, I agree. There’s also, I think anything with nostalgia kind of like has an extra plus 10. And even though we’re not Korean, and then we didn’t grow up in Korea, a lot of those childhood games that they were playing, it’s like, it’s easy enough for you to kind of like understand what that game was. And you can also kind of project into like, oh, I remember when I was a kid and we’d play like, I don’t know, hopscotch or like random shit. And if I imagine that, yeah, tetherball becoming like some crazy, life or death…

[00:10:00] Jesse Lin: Oh my God, can you imagine playing tetherball and you lose and the ball explodes and you die?

[00:10:04] Angela Lin: Bruh, or the ball is like, uh, head decapitated

[00:10:08] Jesse Lin: But you know, that’s a really good point because I feel like there are a lot of shows where people are really interested because it’s like this perversion of innocence, you know?

[00:10:15] Jesse Lin: So they’re taking something that’s like nostalgic, it’s like tied to your childhood, something that’s kind of like pure and then kind of like inverting it into something that becomes traumatic or like evil, dark or something like that, yeah. I also found that like, okay, so like I’ve never been to Korea and I don’t really know how modern Korean society is like, but it was really interesting to see those vignettes that they did include of the people like in their lives and like how good or bad those situations were.

[00:10:49] Jesse Lin: And of course it’s a TV show. So it’s like, I don’t know how realistic it is, but like, there were definitely some moments where I was like, oh, I didn’t know this was the case. Like. When Gi-hun’s mom went to the hospital and she’s like, oh, I can’t pay for it. And I was like, I thought that shit was free over there.

[00:11:07] Jesse Lin: And then I also really liked that they included, um, a migrant worker in the cast because it’s also, I think it’s a huge issue that’s like really hidden and people don’t really have a lot of visibility into it. Of course it’s like how it actually is, there is really hard to tell, but it was really interesting to see those kind of stories.

[00:11:29] Angela Lin: Yeah. I really liked that. And they all, yeah, I agree. There was a large diversity in kind of like backgrounds from people. I also liked that that girl, that everyone felt fell in love with plays a north Korean defector. Like there’s all these interesting tidbits, but the migrant worker, I agree. I really enjoyed that they worked that in, and I don’t know if you read up on any articles about that guy, but like that actor apparently has been trying to break, break out in Korean entertainment for a long time. Like he’s been acting for many years and his biggest role up until Squid Game was like, I don’t know, I probably got it wrong, but it was like Pakistani guy number two or something in the credits.

[00:12:11] Angela Lin: And so this was like his big fucking break. And so it was like this double win, right? It’s like the fact that a migrant worker as his character could be lucky enough to have this opportunity to win all this money. And then him as an actor, actually having the opportunity to represent this silent kind of part of the population that’s struggling.

[00:12:35] Angela Lin: So, and obviously like we’re all about Asian representation. That’s like double representation in my mind. So I really liked that. Yeah.

[00:12:43] Jesse Lin: Yeah. So, I mean, I think one of what I was talking about was like, it’s hard to understand how things are actually in Korea. And I also feel like one of the things that was hard to understand what some of the nuances in the language, because we don’t speak Korean so there was a lot of stuff, at least from I saw on the Twitter verse about how you miss a lot of the meaning of what each person is saying, which helps to characterize how that person is when you’re just reading the subtitles, because they weren’t really translated with the same level of nuance.

[00:13:19] Angela Lin: Yes. Well, I guess there’s like two conversations to be had here because one is just translation in general, you will lose some sort of context if you don’t speak the native language.

[00:13:32] Angela Lin: So let’s, that’s the scenario in which we’re reading subtitles. The other conversation is the dub versus subtitles. Oh, there was a huge. Yeah, there’s this huge Twitter showdown around dubs versus subtitles. And I don’t do dubs at all. They’re fucking weird. And it was just super weird, but apparently, and I didn’t think about it, but a huge, because this is one of the first foreign shows that a lot of non Asian people have watched, ever dub is an easier go-to route for a lot of folks.

[00:14:08] Angela Lin: And I never thought of it that way. I think maybe because. Maybe because we’re Asian. So we already kind of like Asian American. So we already are more open to watching, like, I don’t know, Asian content or other content where we don’t speak the language perfectly so we need subtitles. We’re more used to having subtitles on as opposed.. but letting the like original language play.

[00:14:28] Angela Lin: But I guess Western cultures, especially if you don’t usually watch anything, that’s not in English. Maybe dub is more approachable because you’re like, oh, it’s like easier for me to understand. And I don’t have to read because that this can like spiral into a whole other thing. Right. Because I’m one of those people that like, when I want to eat English stuff, I have subtitles on English.

[00:14:51] Jesse Lin: Oh me too, Enlish subtitles.

[00:14:53] Angela Lin: Yeah because I just, my hearing, I think if I turned it off, I would actually have better hearing, but I like comprehension, but I’m just like, it’s just easier for me to like, match the words in this. But a lot of people hate subtitles, like English with English. They really don’t like subtitles.

[00:15:13] Angela Lin: Cause it kinda like takes you. So, so then the argument I guess, to be made is if you’re an English speaker who doesn’t usually watch anything, that’s not in English and you don’t like subtitles it, dub is a more natural, like way for you. So, I guess I can empathize with that, but I think it is one of those things that like, if you only speak English, you would not understand why this is a big deal because you don’t understand what nuances lost versus like, if you’ve ever spoken two languages. And you’ve heard kind of the difference between a translated version of what you meant to say and what is being spoken. You get that, it’s kinda like it’s not the same.

[00:15:58] Jesse Lin: Yeah and I think if, yeah, if you, if you only really know one language, you’ve never encountered that situation where you’re like, I don’t have the words to express this, but once you learn a different language, there’s like idioms or situations where you’re like, what is that? And the person has to like explain to you, but you still don’t really understand it until you’re like deep into it. Um, I think that that’s such an interesting conversation because I also have English subtitles on when I watch an English, because sometimes mostly it’s audio leveling issues.

[00:16:27] Jesse Lin: Like the sound is too loud, but then the dialogue is like [unintelligible], and so I just have it so I can actually hear what the people are saying. But I find it’s the opposite. Like if you do dub over something that is not originally in English, it takes me out of the fantasy because it’s like watching a drag queen lip-sync who doesn’t know the words to the song.

[00:16:50] Jesse Lin: It’s just like the lips don’t match up. So I’m like that’s, I would rather read subtitles and see them talk their native language. It’s the less, less strange. Um, but I do think it’s an interesting conversation to be had about like what the future of these shows will look like, because I’m sure there will be more of them.

[00:17:11] Jesse Lin: And I feel like the idea around like Netflix, Hulu originals is to do like as many as possible because they want to like keep people stuck there. And so it begs the question whether or not they will ever work to improve the quality of the quality versus quantity basically, yeah.

[00:17:30] Angela Lin: Yeah. I mean, to be fair, this was a high quality show.

[00:17:34] Jesse Lin: Yeah, yeah.

[00:17:35] Angela Lin: So, but you mean in terms of like the dubbing, the other language inclusiveness? Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. Okay. I’ll say one more thing about the dub is, uh, I think I agree with you. It completely whacks me out of the like immersion, because it also bothers the shit out of me when the things don’t match. But also, I don’t know why maybe I think anyone who’s heard of dove can agree, but there’s like overacting that’s done when it’s a dubbed voice?

[00:18:06] Jesse Lin: I, so my theory about that is that they don’t actually see the show. They’re just reading a script because the show, if they were to do the dub after the show is done or in post, they may not have enough time to record everything.

[00:18:20] Angela Lin: But that possibly be the case because you need to know how quickly someone is talking to be able to match the amount of time they’re on screen. So they have to be watching it too, to know, like, I can’t take 30 seconds to say this when he’s only on screen for 10.

[00:18:35] Jesse Lin: I don’t know. I don’t know, man. I don’t know how that process goes, but I generally agree with you that it just is like, it’s, it takes me out out of the fantasy it doesn’t really match necessarily what’s happening in this situation.

[00:18:48] Jesse Lin: And um, I also, maybe if it is recorded while, they’re watching like part of why it’s like that is that they don’t understand what the people are saying. So they’re probably like, just try to either match the energy or like what’s on their face and it’s odd.

[00:19:03] Jesse Lin: Yeah, I guess so

[00:19:05] Angela Lin: the other sub topic, uh, because you were talking about like, will Netflix and other production companies essentially, right?

[00:19:13] Angela Lin: Will they improve the quality of like this mixed language environment now? And I don’t know if you know. I don’t know if it bothered you as much as it bothered me, but the English speaker, English speaking actors that were in the show, were really?

[00:19:31] Jesse Lin: Oh, it was so hokey.

[00:19:32] Angela Lin: It was awful.

[00:19:32] Jesse Lin: I was like, I was like, where did you guys get these people?

[00:19:36] Angela Lin: Ok. And because you don’t watch K dramas. Right. And we just talked about how I’ve, I’m not watching like a million K dramas. They’re always find a way to include English unnecessarily in K dramas. And I think I get it. I get it because it’s like, if it’s based in Korea and previous Netflix globalizing everything, most people watching K dramas were Korean.

[00:19:59] Angela Lin: So English is like fucking fancy. Right. It’s like, Ooh. You’re like, yeah, exactly. Um, so they, they include it to get like brownie points. So it doesn’t matter how shitty it is or if they have like English speaking afters that are terrible acting because no one would know if they are Korean, like non Korean Americans right? So I think that’s why it’s always been included. I think with Squid Game blowing the fuck up, like now it’s so many non-Korean people that watched that show and those scenes with those English speakers…

[00:20:32] Jesse Lin: Everybody was like, what is this happening?

[00:20:33] Angela Lin: Oh my God. So bad. And it’s not even the acting is not great, but I got to say the script is not great.

[00:20:41] Angela Lin: So I would hope that in the future, there is a little bit of like a more globalization effort. If there’s going to be like inclusion of non-main language based, you know, conversation and stuff.

[00:20:56] Jesse Lin: Yeah the thing is like, they don’t really tell you much about the people like the rich people who are part of it.

[00:21:02] Jesse Lin: And so part for me, what was lacking there, and maybe they will clarify in future seasons. I heard that they got greenlit for season two, like it wasn’t clear and why it was shitty is like, what is the motivation? Because like part of it is spoiler alert is like, one of them is like, oh, we just got really bored.

[00:21:23] Jesse Lin: And we, this is like the way that we’re entertained now, but I was like, that’s it? Like, that seems like a shallow motivation, like most characters I feel like that are really great have motivation on like different levels. So that might’ve been like the surface motivation, but then like underneath that, I feel like there’s usually more it’s just like the old man that’s what he was saying. His surface motivation was, but then he participated in the games. There was like a lot of different layers to him, but these guys were just, it seemed so hokey because there was no, there was no depth.

[00:21:57] Angela Lin: I’m about to, I’m about to say something that may be controversial. Maybe not. I think.

[00:22:04] Angela Lin: The level at which these white people were thrown into this show is the same as which minority characters used to be, and still are somewhat thrown into Hollywood, mainstream Hollywood things where it’s like, it’s a stereotype that is very surface level. And it’s just like, can be associated with your race or social status or whatever.

[00:22:28] Angela Lin: And there’s not really a bother to develop that character further.

[00:22:33] Jesse Lin: Fair. That’s fair. I mean, but counterpoint is that there were also some non-white English speaking people as a part of the rich people.

[00:22:42] Angela Lin: There was a one Chinese dude, that’s it? They were all the rest of them were white.

[00:22:46] Jesse Lin: Oh really? Ok. Um, but I, yeah, but it’s kind of just, it seems like a big hole to me in the plot of the thing, because the, you have the players and then you have the sponsors, so it’s like a huge part of it that seems like they’re not, but you know, okay it might be developed in the future.

[00:23:04] Angela Lin: Maybe. And also maybe I don’t, I don’t think that bothers me as much because did you watch. Hostel? Okay. Um, there’s like, well, it was Hostel and Taken. They were kind of like homage, homage, homage elements to both of those, I think in this show, um, because there’s like the kind of like hunting humans aspect, which is from Hostel, Hostel, and then sec, oh, sex trafficking was Taken anyways.

[00:23:40] Angela Lin: Yeah. There isn’t that much additional plot development in Hostel and those kinds of movies, either for the people that are just rich and bored, that is generally kind of like the background and you accept it as such. And I think to the director and writers, you know, uh, credits, I think the point was to care about the actual players, not those people.

[00:24:05] Angela Lin: So it didn’t really matter. I was just the actual things they said were really hokey, like the script for the English part was not great.

[00:24:18] Jesse Lin: Yeah. It was basically your basic, like out of touch, rich person dialogue.

[00:24:27] Angela Lin: Ooh. Yes. You mentioned hotties.

[00:24:29] Jesse Lin: So many hotties. Oh my gosh. So I don’t know if you guys have watched Train to Busan, but the dad in Train to Busan.

[00:24:37] Jesse Lin: The like overworked absentee parent is the face slapper guy in the series. He looks so good. Train to Busan was like five, 10 years ago. He looks exactly the same.

[00:24:53] Angela Lin: Asian don’t raisin

[00:24:55] Jesse Lin: Plus all that k beauty secrets. But yeah. So I, I, one of the things that I thought was really interesting after this came out is like a lot of people were coming out being like, oh my God, I’m so attracted to X, Y, and Z on the cast.

[00:25:10] Jesse Lin: And it’s interesting because it’s a full Asian cast. I’ve never really seen that before. Even when Crazy Rich Asians came out, people were like, oh, it’s such a great film. Like, I love seeing the representation, but, and there was some like hottie stanning and stuff, like Constance and um, Henry Golding, but like, this is like, there is like extreme thirst for this man and some of the other people on the cast.

[00:25:31] Angela Lin: Especially for him being a fairly minor character compared to everyone else and being like latched on to as the daddy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I enjoyed that coming on the social media as well and seeing the obsession

[00:25:45] Jesse Lin: It’s like a little validating, because, because now you’re like, okay, like, yes, please. People see that Asians are hot. People see that Asians can be attractive. Like it’s not just that the entertainment is there, but now people are latching onto it um, fandom wise, the way that they do on like other shows where they, you know, develop their own fantasies about what’s happening.

[00:26:08] Angela Lin: I think it is hopeful because yeah. I mean, we’ve talked about representation a lot and our own issues with like attractiveness to Asian people growing up because of the way media and society kind of like portrayed what attractiveness was, which was basically just like really attractive white people was what attractiveness was.

[00:26:29] Angela Lin: But to your point now that like this kind of show comes out, blows up K dramas are also becoming like much more accepted outside of Korean and Asian people. Audiences. If you are bombarded with Asian male actors, Asian excellence over and over again on your screen and you opt in so that then it does normalize that Asian men can be attractive.

[00:26:56] Angela Lin: So I, yeah, this part I feel very good about. Yeah. I think the kind of like hidden subculture of this, that I’m a little wary of is like, yes, I’m all about like, non-Asian people finally seeing Asian men as attractive because they always have been, but I don’t know how much you’ve been, uh, in tune with this like Korea- boo phenomenon.

[00:27:21] Angela Lin: Okay. So, um, basically I think there was like varying definitions of Korea-boo but it first came about with like, K-pop stars and K dramas. So not it didn’t come about just because of the Squid Game, but essentially it’s like non Asian fan girls, essentially that like get really obsessive with Korean stars, um, to the point where they’re kind of like.

[00:27:49] Angela Lin: There’s like a fetishization type element to it where it’s not like, oh, I like genuinely appreciate this culture and like who this person is, but there’s this little kind of like a latching onto, just for the sake of like, I’m, I love all things, Korea and like Asian. And you’re an attractive man, which is like what we’ve always been kind of afraid of what the yellow fever type concept right? So I think that’s been a little weird and dicey because as I’ve seen social media really like, appreciate these hotties in Squid Game and whatever, there is this other conversation where it’s like, I think there’s a growing resentment a little bit among other people where it’s like, well, first you like said we were ugly and now you’re kind of like fetishizing us because you’re suddenly like bought in on all this like Korean stuff, that’s always been awesome. But you’re like now hopping on that bandwagon and being a little weird about it.

[00:28:50] Jesse Lin: Yeah. Oh my God so two things. So the first thing is, yeah, I agree that that’s super weird. Like when you, when you like something, because it’s now the popular zeitgeist, but you have no real reason to like it. So like for example, lots of gay people, like Azealia Banks. I don’t like Azealia Banks, like, I was like, why do people, why aren’t people supporting her? Like, she’s a little bit like nutso. And she said something like really problematic, like transphobic things in the past.

[00:29:17] Jesse Lin: And so I’m like, I’m not going to support her just because every other gay person is like interested in her, Um, the other thing I wanted to say about the casting is I think it, uh, it makes visible a different aspect of how Korean people appear then in K-pop because K-pop is so sanitized. Like it’s very, everyone’s very doll like they’re very beautiful, like very traditionally feminine looking. But in this film, like I feel like everything is very masculine. Like. Yeah. I’ll I’ll, you know, obviously we’re like killing people and stuff, but even like many of the key female figures, like they have, they’re very – they have like an enormous, like inner strength.

[00:30:00] Jesse Lin: And I found that was really interesting to see it. In fact, like some of the male characters were weaker, like morally weaker than, than the female characters. And so it was like a really great. Um, visualization of like how people look in reality, as opposed to this kind of, you know, it’s K-pop is so sanitized and cleaned up and like a very meticulously curated image.

[00:30:24] Jesse Lin: And this is like very raw.

[00:30:25] Angela Lin: Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I didn’t even think about this. So you were just talking about it, but like the gender norms and kind of like defying that was something I really enjoyed in the show because they did make a point to like, cause you were following the north Korean defector girl along the whole way.

[00:30:42] Angela Lin: And she definitely became one of the like crowd favorite characters on the show. And throughout the show, people just kept underestimating her. They kept trying to like actively keep her out, literally because she was a girl, like they would say, you know, we can’t afford to have a girl in this team. Like that kind of shit.

[00:30:59] Angela Lin: And then she always kinda like came out on top and like proved her way. And that, yeah, that’s rare. I think, especially in traditional Asian cultures too, are like very patriarchical patriarchial I don’t know. Y’all know what I’m saying anyways. Um, and I think I told you, but like when I lived in Japan, It’s like little things.

[00:31:22] Angela Lin: It’s just like, it’s more normal there that they kind of abide by like the traditional sense of like masculine versus feminine. Like they would, they would just assume that I wanted a pink thing because I’m a girl. Or like if Ramon and I ordered drinks and I got a beer and he got a wine, they would always try to put the wine in front of me.

[00:31:40] Angela Lin: Yeah. So it’s just like, it’s just more ingrained. Right? That’s, they’re more traditional in that sense. So I do enjoy that like a show coming out of Korea. Not a Korean-American like person creating it, still thought about the gender norms and like how to show strength in an unexpected way. Yeah.

[00:31:59] Jesse Lin: Yeah. I feel like part of the reason why, at least for me, I’m like attracted to some of the characters is that there is this realness aspect – I mean they’re acting, but there’s this realness aspect to it.

[00:32:10] Jesse Lin: It’s not a sanitized image. It’s like very raw. And so you’re like oooo, that’s juicy. That’s hot.

[00:32:18] Angela Lin: You know what, actually, this is a really interesting conversation because it also parallels just like how society has changed in terms of like, what kind of content we want to consume, because obviously like we’re trying to up our social media game right now.

[00:32:32] Angela Lin: And so I’ve been learning a lot more about like how things have changed or whatever. And one of the interesting things is that Instagram, we all remember when Instagram first. It was all super sanitized content, like beautiful model, like influencers only posting like their best selves and whatever, but especially now with like reels and TikTok becoming the more dominant form of content that people are posting the most popular content is actually when people are super real and they’re showing things like I’m struggling with my mental health or, you know, like sharing real things that people can actually like latch onto and like, oh, I see you in myself kind of thing. So I think that’s also translating into why it’s good game was interesting and attractive for people is it is like, oh, this isn’t just like some hokey romcom shit that like is not real life it makes me feel bad about my life. This is like, I see the flaws and these people, it’s just like, I see the flaws in myself and like, um, you can feel more deeply towards something because of that.

[00:33:38] Jesse Lin: I feel like, well, one thing that I maybe want to revisit is this like fan girling versus fetishization, you know, it’s like such a hard thing to determine what the fine line is. And, um, I feel like I’ve heard this before. I forgot who said it, but basically it’s like, um, the difference between sexual assault and attraction is that like you want it.

[00:34:00] Jesse Lin: So it’s like if someone gross came up too and they were like, ehh, like you know maybe touching you and you’re like, ehh, but if someone hot came up to you, you’d be like, okay yeah. So it’s like that kind of like fine, like that kind of thing for me is like, it’s so hard to tell because it’s so individualistic.

[00:34:19] Angela Lin: I agree. It’s a weird thing because essentially what you’re discovering is consent versus no consent.

[00:34:26] Jesse Lin: The difference between consent and sexual assault is…

[00:34:30] Angela Lin: I agree. It’s kind of funky. Um, yeah. Uh, that is interesting because I am seeing like the Korea-boo thing. I came across it on social media because I follow a lot of Asian creators because that’s kind of the space that we’re in as well.

[00:34:46] Angela Lin: And one like subset of popular TikTokers is essentially like attractive people who just may kind of like thirst trappy type content where they’re like shirtless and like kind of like winking at the camera and shit. Right? So those people have a lot of followers for obvious reasons. And some of those – not Korean – asian creators have called out the Korea-boos in their comments being like, bruh, this is gross. Like. Because I think their reaction is like, you are attracted to me just because now, because it’s like popular to like Asian people versus you actually like me. Um, and then I have also seen other thirst trappy Asian creators who kind of call that out as well, where it’s like. I saw one where the guy was like, uh, the comments said you’re attractive for an Asian or whatever. And usually that’s one of our most hated, like insults. Right? But this guy, his content was weird because he essentially was like, oh, like I’m into, you know, like, oh, I’ll show you how much more attractive I can be essentially. Like he was kind of like into it. And I’ll like, uh bruhh, so I think there, I agree because the fine line is like, if you want it or you don’t want it. And for other people who like have been rejected from like society and girls and men as well for not being what is considered attractive for so long and now with like the Korean wave, especially kind of bringing all of this Asian content to the forefront and changing people’s perception of what’s attractive. Some people are like, all, let me hop on this. Like, I don’t care if it’s a fetishization, like I’m finally getting attention for once. Like, I’m, I’m fine with that.

[00:36:38] Angela Lin: So it is kind of weird cause it, yeah, to each his own, I guess. I don’t know. Well, we talked a lot more than I thought we were going to about this topic, honestly. Um, so I think we’re going to the close – Fortune Cookie time, and we wanted to chat about if we think this more kind of like commodity commoditization, commodification, commodification of Asian content of, yeah Asian things in general, I guess, is good as we move forward.

[00:37:15] Jesse Lin: I think, you know, it’s such a tricky question because when we had, um, Leslie and Diana, they were giving us like the background of how K-pop became to be. And it’s commodification is like, it’s like at the root of why it exists. Right? Cause I think what one of them was telling us how the government invested in doing this to like bring this kind of culture and develop it. So on one hand, It’s hard for us to say, what’s good for the people there because they’re the ones that have decided to create this kind of cultural thing and sell it everywhere globally.

[00:37:54] Jesse Lin: But I think overall it’s a good thing, even, even though, even though we’re talking about things where it’s like, it may not be like a natural absorption of the culture yet. There’s like fetishization and this whole like, identify with the team, but I have no personal interest in the thing. But still that’s like exposure for people to broaden their minds a little bit with the things that they’re exposed to.

[00:38:19] Jesse Lin: And I think that that can really shift how people think about attraction or interest in different kinds of stories, um, and even interest in, in different cultures. So overall I think it is, it is a good thing that they’re are more pieces of content with differing perspectives coming from different cultures.

[00:38:40] Angela Lin: Yes. I agree. I think it’s a net positive. There are obviously some negatives that we’ve discussed, but I think with anything that requires progress to be made you, it is more realistic to have it come in steps as opposed to leaps, because I think I mean, outside of Squid Game, right? The current societal wave they’re in right now is a shift where there is more awareness of like the multiple pieces of diversity that exists in society and like how we’re all different, but have ways that, you know, we can come together and stuff like that, but it’s, it’s been bumpy, right? And like, it’s going to continue to be bumpy. There’s some improvements and strides have been made, but it’s not like, I think. What I disagree with is when people kind of have these lofty expectations where it’s going to be like a complete 180 tomorrow. And with that, and with this, with the Squid Game, like the commodification, uh, topic, I really don’t think it’s realistic to expect like a 180 where someone’s suddenly like never consumed any content that was not English- speaking is like, oh, All in on this stuff. And I’m going to take the time to like understand Korean culture and all the context that was behind the show and like really appreciate it. I think it’s not realistic to expect that overnight, but I totally agree with you. It’s like we’re making all these baby steps.

[00:40:07] Angela Lin: Like finely people find Asian men attractive, Hey, that’s a fucking huge win. It was a fucking huge win and it’s going to go from there. So, yeah. And I mean, hopefully in a nearish future while we’re still alive. At least I would hope that like, all content is quite globalized. Like we’re just all kind of like interchanging, the best shows and movies from everywhere and like truly appreciating kind of what’s going into each of those things.

[00:40:37] Angela Lin: Um, versus like for the longest time, US is the dominating thing.

[00:40:42] Jesse Lin: I was going to say there’s this idea that Western media is like the most far along or the most worthy or whatever. And I think despite all the problems with the current commodification, let’s say it puts everything in the same place, like the same footing in the free market.

[00:41:00] Jesse Lin: People can decide which things that they’re interested in because now you can’t really right? Because someone, a studio exec is deciding for you even before the content gets there. But now that they’re seeing there’s money behind the content, they may be more willing to greenlight the best project as opposed to the traditional project.

[00:41:18] Angela Lin: Yes. Oh, and or, yeah, American based studios just won’t necessarily be the most competitive in the future because I think to date it’s largely been a language thing in terms of like English is the most universal language in the world. So it is understandable that Western media from the states or other English speaking countries have a better chance at being more popular globally.

[00:41:49] Angela Lin: But now that people are willing to turn on a shitty dub or read the subtitles, the language is no longer the barrier. So it is free for all. Okay. Well, I had fun with this. Awesome. Well, uh, let us, what you knew or let us what you know, mer mer? Let us know what you think about Squid Game or this general kind of like wave towards globalization of content changing perceptions of attractiveness, everything that we talked about we’re interested…

[00:42:24] Jesse Lin: or if you have any other recommendations of similar shows we would like to know.

[00:42:29] Angela Lin: Yeah. If you’re like Squid Game sucks. There’s actually like a way better shows out there that I love, send them in. And we’ll, we’ll post that for other people as ,well, to get those recs, um, write us in at telluswhereyourefrom@gmail.com

[00:42:42] Jesse Lin: And as always come back next week for a fresh new episode.

Categories
Uncategorized

Thanksgiving in the US versus Canada

Jesse Lin 0:05
Hi, I’m Jesse Lin.

Angela Lin 0:06
And I’m Angela Lin. And welcome back to But Where Are You Really From? Today we have a recurring guest kind of – if it’s twice it’s recurring, right? I don’t know. We have friend of the pod, Lil Waterboi, what’s up?


Full Transcript (Note: Transcribed via AI, may contain errors)


Lil Waterboi 0:23
Hi, what’s up?

Angela Lin 0:24
Welcome back, we made a little joke. Before we started recording that now with a webcam and with a new beard. It’s like you’re 10 years older Lil Waterboi than a few months ago.

Lil Waterboi 0:37
The baby face is gone with the beard.

Angela Lin 0:41
I love it. You’re also – it’s also impressive that you can grow such like full beard.

Lil Waterboi 0:46
I wouldn’t say this is full. This is like not like, I mean, this I’m trying to like get to be less patchy. But like, we’ll see. I think in 5-10 years, I might have the full thing if I wanted to, you know,

Angela Lin 0:58
I’m sorry, you saying you’re gonna grow it for five to 10 years?

Lil Waterboi 1:00
I’m not. But in 5-10 – you know, say like, I just feel like…

Angela Lin 1:04
Oh with age.

Lil Waterboi 1:06
Yeah, exactly. That’s what I’m saying.

Jesse Lin 1:07
Yeah I’m kind of jealous. I wish I could grow any beard. It doesn’t it doesn’t like when my facial hair goes longer it just looks like hair on my face.

Angela Lin 1:19
Well, it’s great to have you back. And so for those who have not listened to it, we have a first episode that we did with Lil Waterboi. It’s Asians doing cool shit featuring Lil Waterboi. So if you haven’t listened to that, definitely go back there because we went more in depth into who you are, what your whole story is, and your career and trajectory and all that. So feel free to go back to that. But today we’re having him on for a different kind of topic. So before we get into that, though, I’m sure there’s lots of folks who don’t quite know who you are. So you want to intro yourself a little bit for those listeners.

Lil Waterboi 1:55
Yeah, so I’m Lil Waterboi I’m a producer, rapper, entrepreneur. I do a lot of stuff. creative stuff. I’m from Canada. And I’m Asian – Vietnamese specifically

Angela Lin 2:10
And hence why he’s on our show what’s up, okay!

Lil Waterboi 2:15
Oh, I forgot to plug. Yeah. I have a song that came out two days ago on Tuesday. It’s called 10 rings. It’s actually about the Shang-Chi movie. So check it out!

Angela Lin 2:27
Ooo yes. Just anywhere there’s music, Spotify?

Lil Waterboi 2:32
Apple Music, Spotify, like any streaming platform that exists, I hope it’s on there. It should be on. And it features to other dope Asian artists Mix Miyagi and Ace Autumn.

Angela Lin 2:44
I love these names. All these rapper names are fantastic. Okay, awesome. Check that out. And check it out because right now as you’re listening to this, it is a long weekend, at least for those in the US. It’s Thanksgiving weekend. And that’s actually exactly the topic that we’ll be talking about today with Lil Waterboi. I think it’s a kind of a recurring theme from our last time we talked to because at that point, we also were kind of comparing contrasting US versus Canadian experience for a lot of stuff.

Lil Waterboi 3:20
That’s the only identifiable character about me.

Angela Lin 3:25
That’s not true! But it’s a recurring trait we’re tapping into. But I remember when we talked about last time, you’re I think you helped surface to us how self centered we are as Americans. They were like, everything’s like about us and that’s like all the stuff we know about. And so I think with the topic of Thanksgiving, it’s very similar because we always think of Thanksgiving as like a US holiday only. But it’s definitely not and also I just my last job was like with a lot of Canadian people and so there’s like a whole month prior – two months prior? This is how little I know about it, but like several months prior scenes, they’re like okay, remember we have Thanksgiving tomorrow or whatever, like we’re not coming in. I’m like, Oh yeah, Canada also has this. So today we will be comparing and contrasting the two Thanksgivings. But before we get into that, but Jesse do you know this? I looked it up I don’t know if you looked it up beforehand. But do you know or do both of you?

Lil Waterboi 4:34
I probably don’t

Angela Lin 4:35
How many Thanksgivings? Take a guess how many Thanksgivings? Do you think there are in the world?

Jesse Lin 4:43
Oh, wait. I think I – I think it should be like..

Lil Waterboi 4:44
Does it have to be called Thanksgiving – do you know what I’m saying?

Angela Lin 4:48
No it can be a similar similar sentiment.

Jesse Lin 4:52
I want to say like 10.

Lil Waterboi 4:54
70?

Angela Lin 4:58
Whoo. Okay, it’s somewhere in the middle between what you two just said. At least from the like janky website I Googled right before it says 17. I, but I, yeah, but you were hinting at the right stuff, which is that it’s not always called Thanksgiving. Like I think in the US we tie it a lot with like pilgrims and like Native Americans and like settling in the in America. But it also has to do with the harvest festival. And so when you kind of like branch out the definition to that extent then there’s like a lot of countries that celebrate and give thanks for the harvest season. So 17. Okay, so then who done it better now we’re getting into. Let’s start with out of curiosity, how much do you know Lil Waterboi about what the Canadian origin story is for your Thanksgiving?

Lil Waterboi 6:01
Oh, damn, my, my history teachers are rolling roll. Well, they’re not dead, so they wouldn’t be rolling in their grave. But they’re judging me right now. Um, let me think. What do I know? I don’t really know why we celebrate Thanksgiving. I know. It has something to do with like harvesting. I know it has something to do with colonialism. Like I think they brought that over when they came here. I Yeah. Which is a whole nother topic. I don’t know if you guys want to get into it. But I was gonna ask you guys is Thanksgiving canceled in the US because it kind of is in Canada. Like, oh, yeah, anyways, that’s a whole nother topic later, but oh, yeah, I don’t know much.

Angela Lin 6:39
Oh, we’ll get into it. Okay, okay. Okay. So there’s, it sounds like there’s some similarity and that you mentioned colonialism. That’s a big part of our thing. But the harvest piece I think is like really de-emphasized in the US. I don’t think we really ever talked about that. So at least in that respect, you your all’s is like kind of more tapping into the other 15 I guess Thanksgivings that exist? What day is yours?

Lil Waterboi 7:07
It varies. It’s like the second Sunday of October.

Angela Lin 7:13
Hmm. of October. Okay. Yes, Sunday, interesting

Lil Waterboi 7:17
Very pertinent fact. One of the reasons Canadian Thanksgiving is better is that it’s sometimes lines up with my birthday. So, very important fact.

Angela Lin 7:27
Happy belated birthday.

Jesse Lin 7:28
Don’t you prefer having your birthday separate from a holiday some people get peeved when they’re the same days.

Lil Waterboi 7:34
If it’s Christmas, it sucks when’s the same day, but like our Thanksgiving is not like your Thanksgiving at all. Like there’s no gifts. There’s no it’s like really dry and boring.

Jesse Lin 7:44
We don’t get gifts on Thanksgiving.

Angela Lin 7:45
We don’t have gifts.

Lil Waterboi 7:45
You guys don’t have gifts?

Jesse Lin 7:46
No.

Lil Waterboi 7:48
Then why does Black Friday exist. I thought it was like kind of boxing day of Christmas.

Jesse Lin 7:52
Oh it’s because we’re a consumerist country.

Angela Lin 7:54
Yeah. Yeah. We like to buy things. Well, okay, we’re kind of already getting into it. So there’s some key differences; time of year and the Sunday versus like a work day. So but you guys still get the day off right, like Monday?

Lil Waterboi 8:12
Monday off, we get the Monday Off

Angela Lin 8:13
Okay. Okay. So we’re on like, opposite sides of the long weekend because we get like Thursday, Friday, Thursday, Friday, and you’re all are just Monday. Sad. Because we got that crossover bridge day

Jesse Lin 8:25
Well not everybody gets Friday off. I don’t get Friday off.

Lil Waterboi 8:29
Really you get just Thursday off?

Jesse Lin 8:30
Oh, yeah.

Lil Waterboi 8:32
That sucks.

Angela Lin 8:33
Yeah, that’s depressing.

Lil Waterboi 8:34
Capitalism.

That sucks. Okay, well, and then to answer your question, yes, we just like to buy things but also it’s like Thanksgiving is our portal into Christmas. So Black Friday is like the first of all, essentially, after you’re done eating your turkey. It’s like free for all Christmas season. And Black Friday is the beginning of that because a lot of people wait till Black Friday to buy a lot of their gifts for Christmas. Because that’s when like, all the shit is on sale. Yeah. Do y’all even have Black Friday?

We have your Black Friday. We we see you guys buying stuff. So we’re like, hey, let’s do the same thing.

Jesse Lin 9:19
It’s completely consumerist. Just like Valentine’s Day is yeah was created by like Hallmark to sell cards. So it’s very much like I think a couple of companies just realized that they could dump they’re gonna dump a bunch of inventory anyways, and then they decided to just make a shopping holiday out of it and now it’s like..

Lil Waterboi 9:37
The timing of is perfect. Like it’s almost like poetic. You know, like how the Christmas portal thing like it makes total sense. Very smart.

Jesse Lin 9:44
I think people also like to like go out after they eat Thanksgiving dinner like that used to be a thing what like pre-COVID You would like go out, go walking like go to a store and maybe that also made sense from like, go people go to the store afterwards standpoint.

Lil Waterboi 10:01
Wait I have a question, like, do you guys always eat like does everyone eat on Thursday? Or Friday? Or doesn’t matter? You can eat anytime during the weekend like, is there? How does that work?

Jesse Lin 10:13
I would say with your family, it’s traditionally on the day of like, if you’re doing like a Friendsgiving, you might do it like the week before the weekend before because your friends might be going to see their family. So it depends on what your plans are.

Angela Lin 10:29
Thursday is the big day though. Yeah, Thursday is like the real day and then you kind of like, make a priority list of who else is important in your life and schedule it beyond Thursday, pre/post Thursday. Well, let’s get into cuz you made it sound like it’s not as big of a deal to you guys as it is to us. So in the ranking of like, holidays, where does Thanksgiving fall for Canada?

Lil Waterboi 11:00
Like I’m just blanking out real quick. I’m gonna list the holidays because I’m not sure I have them all. So like we got Christmas. We got Easter. We got Thanksgiving. We got Valentine’s Day. St. Patrick’s – do you guys have St Patrick’s Yes.

Angela Lin 11:17
Yeah.

Jesse Lin 11:17
Wait, these are days that you have off?

Lil Waterboi 11:21
I’m not sure. I can’t.

Angela Lin 11:23
No just to put their holidays

Jesse Lin 11:24
Oh, just generally. Okay fair

Lil Waterboi 11:26
I don’t think we have St. St. Patrick’s we got nothing off and Valentine’s Day we have nothing off. What else? I know Easter we do though – New Years. Um, okay. Is that are those the major ones?

Angela Lin 11:38
Don’t y’all have like a shit ton of bank holidays? I feel like all my Canadian coworkers were like off half the time.

Jesse Lin 11:43
Labor Day.

Lil Waterboi 11:43
Yeah, but like, okay, we have Victoria Day. That’s pretty bad of me to forget. Victoria Day. Then we have – how do you call, Labor Day?

Angela Lin 11:55
Yeah, we got that too. Yeah.

Lil Waterboi 11:56
But, um, where was I at? Yeah, so I don’t know, I Canadians have a bunch of random holidays that like spread out, like days off. But no one really cares about half of them. Low key. But I’ll put Christmas up there. Christmas gets the cake. Then it’s probably like New Years, and then Easter. And then Valentine’s Day. And then how the Halloween is cooler than Valentine’s Day in my opinion. Kind of like to say toe-and-toe.

Jesse Lin 12:27
Yeah fair, Halloween is cooler than Valentine’s day.

Lil Waterboi 12:29
Like you guys get the sense of it. Like, Thanksgiving is pretty down there. I don’t know if I represent Canada as a whole. But Thanksgiving is not that cool. For the most part. In my opinion.

Angela Lin 12:40
We’re making you represent Canada. So

Lil Waterboi 12:44
Nice. I used to Model United Nations. So like, you know, it feels like I’m bringing that back, you know?

Jesse Lin 12:50
Oh my god that’s so funny Is it something that you usually celebrate with family? Or mostly friends? Or is the same kind of thing like a mix of both?

Lil Waterboi 13:00
A mix a both? It’s not so so universal of a holiday in Canada hat it’s like, weird not to celebrate, you know, like, plenty of people don’t celebrate Thanksgiving. Some people do a lot of people do I’d say but usually just it’s a dinner and that’s it. You know, it’s like slightly above average dinner.

Angela Lin 13:24
That’s sad bro, oh weird ok.

Lil Waterboi 13:29
You guys go all out in holidays in general like your July 4, the equivalent of that is like Victoria day and Victoria Day. It’s like non existent, like people just say yay. And they put like a selfie with a little sticker on it or something and call it a day. But you guys go all out for July 4. You know?

Angela Lin 13:47
Are we just like, like degenerates or what?

Jesse Lin 13:53
I think we like to party, right? Yeah, right.

Angela Lin 13:57
But okay, so Christmas. So then Christmas is your only big like, universally important family day.

Lil Waterboi 14:04
New Year’s is usually family here too. I’d say it’s more family than friends. It’s both it’s either or.

Angela Lin 14:13
Yeah, we’re we got different priorities over here

Lil Waterboi 14:17
New Year’s is a big deal here.

Angela Lin 14:19
Yeah, yeah. No, it’s it’s a big deal here too. But I think it’s a largely like friends thing. Yeah. Cuz you go out and drink.

Lil Waterboi 14:27
Okay. I don’t know if it’s like, again, I don’t represent Canada, even though this podcast as I do. Like, from my experience, a lot of people celebrate New Year’s with their family. So yeah, okay.

Jesse Lin 14:44
Is there anything traditionally that you would eat at Thanksgiving, anything that’s particular to Canada that we don’t have?

Angela Lin 14:52
Well, he wouldn’t know what we have necessarily.

Jesse Lin 14:53
Festive foods? Oh, maybe your favorite thing and then we can decide if it’s something that we’ve tasted before.

Lil Waterboi 15:00
My favorite Thanksgiving food? Yeah, I mean, like when it comes to festive foods in general, I’m going to speak generally because I don’t think there’s any Thanksgiving food for Canadians other than turkey. Festive foods in general are from Quebec. For those who don’t know, that’s like this weird part of Canada that speaks French and is like a little bit different from the rest of Canada. But yeah, there’s like a lot of foods that people have here that aren’t really known elsewhere, but we put maple syrup on. Okay. It’s like we do put maple syrup on a lot of things, but it’s not something we do every day. It just sometimes there’s occasions where you just pour maple syrup on everything. So it’s like maple syrup on ham, maple syrup on like, sausages. Maple syru….

Jesse Lin 15:42
That sounds good!

Lil Waterboi 15:43
Yeah, maybe it’s not bad. Maple syrup. On what else? I’m trying to remember. There’s meat pie. Not a big fan to be honest. I think it’s like a worse perversion of like, I like what’s that Irish one the beef pie?

Jesse Lin 15:58
Shepherd’s Pie?

Lil Waterboi 16:00
Not shepherd’s pie. The other one. It’s kind of hot inside. I mean, it’s like a it’s like Irish stew but in a pie.

Angela Lin 16:10
Okay, okay.

Lil Waterboi 16:11
Like that. I love that thing. But yeah, shepherd’s pie is also very popular in Quebec. I don’t know why. Like, because it’s, I guess there’s a big like Irish community that started off in Montreal, which is one of the biggest cities in Quebec. But yeah, shepherd’s pie is its own thing here. Like it kind of evolved into its own thing and quebecois people love it. And like it has a really bad name in French. It’s basically Chinese patty. Yeah, I don’t know why.

Jesse Lin 16:40
Chinese what?

Lil Waterboi 16:42
Pate, I guess the equivalent of…Chinese paste?

Angela Lin 16:46
Oh, oh, the liver?

Lil Waterboi 16:50
Yeah. That’s how it translates in English. It’s like pâté chinois.

Jesse Lin 16:56
Shepherd’s pie?

Angela Lin 16:57
It’s not Asian at all. That’s so random.

Lil Waterboi 17:00
I don’t know. Don’t quote me on this, please. But I think I remember someone telling me it had something to do with the Asia – the Chinese people that were doing the railroads. And that’s what they were eating something like that. They just they would it’s called Chinese Pate Here

Angela Lin 17:15
So I guess the Chinese people did your railroads too.

Jesse Lin 17:19
I was like, I guess they’re doing your railroads too. Jesus all right.

Angela Lin 17:25
Okay, interesting. Well, all right. Going back to the ranking in the US Thanksgiving is probably like number three, I would say, Jesse, you can argue with me, but like, I think Christmas. I don’t know, Christmas is number one for sure. Number two is arguably New Year’s or Thanksgiving, I think. In terms of like, and I’m ranking importance by like, family time, and the time when you have an excuse to be like, I’m taking vacation because it’s x holiday and I’m going to like travel back to go see my family or whatever. And that’s when like everyone does it. So in my mind, it’s like number two or number three in our holidays. Would you agree?

Jesse Lin 18:10
Yeah, I would say based off of festivities, it’s probably like Christmas the one like New Year’s the two? Thanksgiving that three? July 4 is the fourth.

Angela Lin 18:22
Oh you right now, no you’re right.

Jesse Lin 18:24
Because like it’s maybe not in other parts of the country. But it’s very clear when you like living in New York because Christmas there’s always Christmas fireworks July 4, a New Year’s there’s always fireworks like tons of people are going out. And Thanksgiving. There’s your usual stuff around Thanksgiving but also the Macy’s Day Parade, which is like, I don’t know if you’ve seen it, but it’s basically just like a ridiculous parade of inflatables that they run down the city and it’s like, it’s very fun, but very silly. And then July 4, because more fireworks. The rest of them we don’t really like do anything for those, you know what I mean?

Angela Lin 19:04
Yeah, you mentioned Easter. I mean that’s definitely big for the people that are religious but it’s not like a universally – like we have a lot of you know, atheist and agnostic folks out here and other religion folks so then it’s not like

Lil Waterboi 19:19
I’d say we do too. It’s just that I guess like yeah, the religion aspect in Quebec is a little bit like you know, there it’s like compared to other places in Canada, it’s a little bit more religious I’d say. But also just because like we don’t have Thanksgiving week off or something like you know, people can’t go on vacation for Thanksgiving. They can’t go on vacation for July 4 or the equivalent which is Victoria Day either so if you’re going to go a vacation, not for Christmas, your second best. Okay, well, yes, summer, not for summer, not for Christmas, the second the third best bet would be Easter.

Unknown Speaker 19:50
Interesting.

Jesse Lin 19:51
Wait why can’t you go on vacation for Thanksgiving?

Lil Waterboi 19:54
Because you have one day off.

Jesse Lin 19:56
How many days do you have off for Christmas?

Lil Waterboi 19:59
Christmas we have like a lot you know, it’s all the way from Christmas up until January.

Jesse Lin 20:03
I’m so triggered right now.

Lil Waterboi 20:06
So wait you guys go back to work after Christmas and then take off work again for New Years?

Jesse Lin 20:11
Okay, let’s let’s give you a school and on the capitalist America there are effectively no holidays. Like, there may be like, two to three holidays that most people are off. But if you’re working like a McDonald’s job you have like no days off, even on Christmas, and like it’s really rough. So like I we, I would say like, what are the things that like maybe everyone will get off is like…

What about school though? Like when you guys were in school?

Angela Lin 20:37
Oh, yeah, school you take off for like two to three weeks?

Jesse Lin 20:44
But working is different.

Lil Waterboi 20:45
Yeah, no 100% working depends on your job, for sure. Like I’m kind of curious, because I might thank you I wanted to spice up my Thanksgiving, right so like, what are your favorite Thanksgiving meals?

Jesse Lin 21:36
Actually, okay, uh hmm.

Angela Lin 21:38
Maybe we list the like, the normal thing.

Jesse Lin 21:41
I was gonna say that like what are like we could list some Thanksgiving things and you can tell us if they exist in Canada. Okay, so the turkey obviously. Stuffing?

Angela Lin 21:52
Okay, but but so many ways you could do the turkey though. It was like oven turkey. Some people like to deep fry their Turkey. The whole turkey. Wait, I got no, no, I guess it’s just oven or deep fry. But yeah,

Lil Waterboi 22:09
Yeah, we only have oven never heard of deep fried turkey. It sounds interesting.

Jesse Lin 22:12
It’s just you throw the turkey in a vat of oil and you fry it.

Angela Lin 22:15
And every year someone’s house burns down from trying to do that.

Lil Waterboi 22:19
Yeah. I can imagine.

Jesse Lin 22:21
Stuffing. Cranberry Sauce. Gravy.

Lil Waterboi 22:28
We put gravy on everything. It’s not even a Thanksgiving thing.

Angela Lin 22:31
Oh, y’all got poutine so..

Jesse Lin 22:36
Well, mashed potatoes, potatoes…

Angela Lin 22:39
Or sweet potatoes with like marshmallows. Sometimes.

Jesse Lin 22:42
That’s a sweet potato casserole. Yeah. Whoa,

Lil Waterboi 22:46
That sounds cool. Never had that

Jesse Lin 22:47
It’s it’s mashed sweet potatoes topped with nuts, I think pecans and then you put marshmallows on the top. And you bake it.

Lil Waterboi 22:59
Is that a dessert?

Angela Lin 23:01
It’s a side, it’s not even a dessert. Americans love just like heart attacky type things.

Jesse Lin 23:09
I’m not sure if it’s a dessert or not to be honest with you.

Angela Lin 23:11
I think it’s just a side.

Lil Waterboi 23:14
I wanna try, it sounds dope

Angela Lin 23:16
We also have okay, it’s big enough casseroles because Americans love casseroles got string bean casseroles, right? Because that’s what like it’s weird. It’s like string beans, mushroom – cream of mushroom soup. Right? And then like fried onions like onion ring type?

Lil Waterboi 23:35
Sounds dope like I would actually try that.

Jesse Lin 23:38
It’s pretty good.

Lil Waterboi 23:38
All of that sounds great.

Jesse Lin 23:39
Yeah. I like making those because they’re quite easy to do.

Angela Lin 23:44
They are a lot of things are can based which is a very go to American thing as well. What else there’s pumpkin pie pumpkin pie. Many pies actually just like all the pies.

Lil Waterboi 23:58
All the pies.

Angela Lin 23:59
Any pie possibility. But pumpkin is very popular.

Lil Waterboi 24:04
I think I think I should just drive over to the next time it’s Thanksgiving just like you know Sounds great. Sounds like a good meal.

Angela Lin 24:12
We’ll roll you back. Yeah, over the border. It’s it’s really full. Yeah, is that is that a thing though for you guys? Is it like to excess because we eat to excess.

Lil Waterboi 24:25
here we like so for Thanksgiving you would lay out a lot of stuff so a lot of sides right so but there’s no, in my opinion, there’s no real like formula. People just bring whatever side they want to bring and it just makes like a little like layout and you have the turkey and that’s Thanksgiving

Jesse Lin 24:42
So it’s like a potluck with the turkey.

Lil Waterboi 24:44
Yeah, it’s a potluck with the turkey exactly.

Jesse Lin 24:48
I think we do the same thing for Friendsgiving but it’s usually people will potluck like traditional Thanksgiving foods.

Angela Lin 24:54
Yes. What’s your favorite thing Jesse of all the things we listed.

Jesse Lin 24:59
Oh I have a really big, sweet tooth as Angela can attest to. So I would have to say the pumpkin pie. I love pumpkin pie.

Angela Lin 25:09
It’s very good.

Jesse Lin 25:10
And I really love pouring maple syrup on everything, too. I don’t know why people think it’s weird. Like when you go eat brunch, and you get french toast with bacon, and you pour syrup on the French toast, it gets on the bacon, it’ss delicious.

Angela Lin 25:22
Yeah, 100%, I can attest for that.

Jesse Lin 25:26
Yeah. What about you?

Angela Lin 25:28
Yeah, for me, I’m a I’m opposite. I’m a savory person. And I’m also a potato fiend. So mashed potatoes are like, really silky mashed potatoes with gravy.

Lil Waterboi 25:43
You have a secret ingredient for your mashed potatoes?

Angela Lin 25:46
A lot of butter, a lot of butter a lot. That’s the way that’s the key. Let’s get into some more serious stuff, you talked about colonization. And you talked about getting canceled. And we were curious if your Thanksgiving had anything to do with Native people at all, because of the 17 other ones, many of them have nothing to do with colonization, because it’s outside of the Americas. And it’s just like, harvesting season related. So tell us a little bit more about your all’s history and that holiday.

Lil Waterboi 26:28
History not my expertise, history not my expertise, but like maybe like, I guess like modern like sociology, like just how why people are upset about it and whatnot, I would know more. But I know it definitely has to do like, you know, with, I guess the idea of them coming here and implementing like, you know, farms or capitalism and whatever, just taking over the land. And basically, erasing native people almost altogether. That’s kind of what Thanksgiving is associated to nowadays. And a lot of like, there’s this movement, I guess, I don’t know if it started from the Native community, but there’s some native like, you know, voices that are pretty strong, that kind of like, brought this to almost mainstream light. It’s not that it’s right or wrong, but I just know a lot of like performative activists, like, you know, love to post like, you know, oh cancel Thanksgiving kind of stuff, you know, on Thanksgiving. So, like, I’m not saying, okay wait actually that sounds really bad. It’s not, not only them, but I know, there’s a lot of performative activism in there. You know, what I’m saying that there’s a lot of people that are like, Oh, my God can’t cancel Thanksgiving, the next day, super problematic person. You know, they don’t they just they they jump on the hype bandwagon. But yeah, so for young people, Thanksgiving is kind of – eekkk – territory,

Angela Lin 27:52
Hmm. Interesting. Is there a is there any sort of disassociation with the history of at all though, because maybe it’s not as because you described as not as, like a high ranking holiday for you guys. But for us, because Thanksgiving is up there, and like top three or four of all of our holidays, and it’s a very, like family focused one, there’s often for better or for worse, like a forgetfulness of the of the origin story, and like the history of it, and more of a focus on just like, the excuse to get together as a family and like, reunite over over a weekend. So I think for us, it’s easier to dissociate the like, negative element, because people don’t think of it only for the origin story, if that makes sense.

Lil Waterboi 28:43
Yeah. 100% I feel as though it’s definitely harder for you guys to like, say bad things about like, something that you guys are just so attached to. But in that sense, like, yeah, like the people, people still, I think the majority of people still celebrate it a little bit or do something or they don’t really, they will go out and, like get mad at someone for having a Thanksgiving dinner. You know what I’m saying? But there’s kind of this like, tone, where it’s like, if you post your Thanksgiving food layout, you have to say something about oh, you know, like, that’s the energy just like, Oh, you’re not you’re not gonna say anything. You know, that’s, that’s kind of the vibe.

Angela Lin 29:21
How recent was that?

Lil Waterboi 29:23
Like, again, I am not historian so. But for me, it feels like within the last few years that picked up

Jesse Lin 29:33
so people are in their posts, they’re speaking something to the fact that there is erasure of native people as a part of a holiday.

Lil Waterboi 29:43
Yeah, they wouldn’t like post in the same day. Do we do something? For example, for me as a like as a performer? Is it like in the communities that I’m around it can be very poorly viewed upon for me to perform, perform at a Thanksgiving themed thing. like Thanksgiving. Yeah.

Lil Waterboi: Like, I’m kind of curious though. Cause I, my Thanksgiving, I wanted to spice up my Thanksgiving. Right. So like, what are your favorite Thanksgiving meals actually. Okay. Uh, Hmm.

Angela Lin: I was going to say that like what? Or like we could list some Thanksgiving things and you can tell us if they exist in, in, in Canada. Okay. So the Turkey, obviously. Okay. But, but so many ways you could do the Turkey though. There was like oven Turkey. Some people like to fry their Turkey, the whole Turkey.

Angela Lin: Um, I got, no, no, I guess that’s just how often are deep fried, but yeah, we only have oven never heard of deep fried Turkey. Sounds interesting. It’s just, you throw the Turkey in a VAT of oil and you fry it and every year someone’s house burns down from trying to, yeah. I can imagine a stuffing. Yes. Yeah.

Angela Lin: Cranberry sauce. Uh, great. We put gravy on everything. It’s not even a Thanksgiving thing. Oh, y’all got poutine, so, okay. Um, where all the levers like mashed potatoes, potatoes, or sweet potatoes with like marshmallows. Sometimes that’s a sweet potato casserole. Yeah. Whoa, that sounds cool. It’s it’s mashed sweet potatoes topped with, uh, nuts.

Angela Lin: I think almonds. Pecans. And then you put, um, marshmallows on the top and you bake it. Is that a dessert? It’s a side. It’s a question of Americans, a love, just like heart attack, each type things. I’m not sure if it’s a dessert or not to view the side. Sweet potato calendar. We also have, okay. It’s being of casseroles because Americans love casseroles got string bean casseroles.

Angela Lin: Right. Cause that’s what, like, it’s weird. It’s like string beans, mushroom cream of mushroom soup. Right. And then like fried onion. Like onion, ring type things. Like I would actually try. That sounds great. Yeah. Yeah. I like making those because they’re quite easy to do. They are, a lot of things are can base, which is like a very go-to American thing as well.

Angela Lin: Um, what else? There’s a pumpkin pie. Pumpkin pie, many pies, actually. It just like all the pies, pies, any pie possibility, but pumpkin is very. I think I should just drive over to the states next time. It’s Thanksgiving. Just like, you know, sounds great. Sounds like a good meal. We’ll roll you back over the border.

Angela Lin: It’s a lot of food. It’s a wonderful. Yeah. Is that, is that a thing though, for you guys as it like to excess because we eat to excess. Well, we like, so for Thanksgiving you would lay out a lot of stuff. So a lot of sides, right? So every, but there’s no, uh, goat, I, in my opinion, there’s no real like formula people just bring whatever aside they want to bring.

Angela Lin: And they just makes like a little like layout and you have the Turkey and that’s, that’s like a potluck with the Turkey. Yeah. It’s a potluck with the Turkey. Exactly. Interesting. I think we did the same thing for friends giving, but it’s usually people will potluck like traditional Thanksgiving foods. Um, what’s your favorite thing, Jesse, of all the things we listed.

Angela Lin: Oh, I have a, I have a really big, uh, sweet tooth as Angela can attest. So I would have to say the pumpkin pie. I love pumpkin. That’s very good. And I really love pouring maple syrup on everything too. I don’t know why people think it’s weird. Like when you go eat brunch and you get French toast with bacon and you pour syrup on the French toast, because on the bacon it’s delicious.

Angela Lin: Yeah. 100%. I can attest for that. What about you? Yeah, for me, I’m a I’m opposite. I’m a savory person and I’m also a potato fiend. So mashed potatoes. So like really silky mashed potatoes with gravy. You have a secret ingredient for your mashed potatoes. A lot of butter, a lot of butter, a lot.

Angela Lin: That’s the way that’s. Let’s get into some more series to few talked about colonization, and you talked about getting canceled and we were curious if your Thanksgiving, how to add anything to do with native people at all, because of the 17 other ones, many of them have nothing to do with colonization because it’s outside of the Americas and it’s just.

Angela Lin: Harvesting season related. Um, so tell us a little bit more about your all’s history and that holiday history. Not my history, not my expertise, but like maybe like, I guess like modern, like sociology, like just how, why people are upset about it and whatnot. I would know more, but I know it definitely has to do like.

Angela Lin: With, I guess the idea of them coming here and implementing like, you know, farms or capitalism and whatever, and just taking over the land and basically erasing native people almost altogether. That’s kind of what Thanksgiving is associated to now and what days. And a lot of like, there’s this movement, I guess, I don’t know if it started from the native community, but there’s some native, like, you know, voices that are pretty strong that kind of like brought this to almost meeting.

Angela Lin: It’s not that it’s right or wrong, but I just know a lot of like performative activists, like, you know, love to post, like, you know, oh, canceled Thanksgiving kind of stuff, you know, on Thanksgiving. So like, I’m not saying, okay, wait, actually that’s, that sounds really bad. It’s not, not only them, but I know there’s a lot of performative activism in there.

Angela Lin: You know what I’m saying? But there’s a lot of people that are like, oh my God, I can’t cancel Thanksgiving the next day. The super problematic. You know, they don’t, they just, they jump on the bandwagon. But yeah. So for young people, Thanksgiving is kind of a eat territory. Right? Interesting. Is there a, um, is there any sort of dissociation with the history of it all though, because maybe it’s.

Angela Lin: Because you described as, not as like a high-ranking holiday for you guys, but for us, because Thanksgiving is up there and like top three or four of all of our holidays, and it’s a very like family focused one there’s often for better, for worse, like a forgetfulness of the, of the origin story and like the history of it and more of a focus on just like the excuse to get together as a family and like reunite, um, over.

Angela Lin: Over a weekend. So I think for us, it’s easier to just associate the like negative element because people don’t think of it only for the origin story, if that makes sense. Yeah. 100%. Um, I feel as though it’s definitely harder for you guys. Say bad things about like something that you guys are just so attached to, but in that sense, like, yeah, like the people, people still, I think the majority of people still celebrate it a little bit or do something or they don’t really, they won’t go out and like get mad at someone for having a Thanksgiving dinner.

Angela Lin: You know what I’m saying? But there’s kind of this like tone where it’s. If you post your Thanksgiving food layout, you have to say something about, you know, like that’s the energy. It just like, oh, you’re not, you’re not going to say anything. You know, that’s, that’s kind of the vibe. How recent was that REL like, um, again, I am not a historian, so, but for me it feels like within the last few years, Okay.

Jesse Lin: So people are in their posts. They’re speaking something to the fact that there is eraser of native people as a part of the holiday.

Lil Waterboi: Yeah. They would like post in the same day. They would do something. For example, for me as a, as a performer, it is, uh, it like in the communities that I’m around, it can be very poorly viewed upon for being to perform and perform at a Thanksgiving themed thing like a Thanksgiving.

Angela Lin: Okay. I have many thoughts on this. One is, um, for us, I think the equivalent like cancel, cancel day is Columbus day, which I don’t know if that’s a day for you guys is that day for you guys?

Lil Waterboi: Like we, it it’s in our calendar. Like we learned about it in history, but like no one celebrates it.

Angela Lin: Like no one gets it off or anything. It was always a a half. The people got it off half the people didn’t it was not everyone got it off for us either, but there’s been like a concerted effort over the last many years. I don’t know, five to 10 years, um, to rebrand it, indigenous people day to like celebrate them over Columbus day, essentially.

Angela Lin: Um, is that you are guys, is, is that the rebrand?

Lil Waterboi: Yes that’s what’s happening with Thanksgiving, yes!

Angela Lin: Yeah. That makes a lot of sense, because if you all didn’t have any real association with Columbus state where it was never like a big thing for you guys, then it makes sense. Thanksgiving’s the one that gets canceled and rebranded for us.

Angela Lin: It was definitely, yeah. Columbus day was like, I mean, yeah, we learned about like his whole story and it was celebrated when we’re growing up as kids until it became obvious it was a little problematic, but yeah.

Lil Waterboi: I mean, I’m totally cool with Columbus day being cancelled, like it’s kind of a pointless holiday.

Jesse Lin: Well, yeah, it’s also, I mean, I find it interesting because like, I don’t know if necessarily anybody, like, I think as Angela was saying, nobody here really celebrates it for the origin story anyways. And how you learn about the origin story evolves quite a bit from when you’re a kid to high school. Cause like, as a kid, they just tell you the nice, they had a nice dinner together.

Jesse Lin: And then as you get older, you’re like they did have a dinner together, but then there was like not nice stuff that was happening. Afterwards, but I do find it very interesting that, um, it is a very heated topic to like rebrand specific holidays, like even Columbus day where everyone’s like, all right, like we don’t really care.

Jesse Lin: Like who cares about Christopher Columbus? He dead, like, but people were like really, really up in arms about changing what that, what that is. And I think it just shows that people are very. I think they’re very, very, um, invested in the holiday, even if they’re not invested in the actual reason why it exists.

Angela Lin: It’s just what it symbolizes, right? That’s what a lot of things are like that get people up in arms nowadays. It’s just like what something symbolizes over anything else.

Lil Waterboi: While we’re on this topic, I just wanted to like wrap my head around, like, I guess the level of acknowledgement of natives that like, um, uh, Americans are, I guess, accustomed to, or, um, um, how do you say it?

Angela Lin: I think I know what you’re saying, like..

Lil Waterboi: How, um, how often does it happen? Yeah. How often do you guys like talk about this stuff? Cause like, I know for like one thing that, um, for example, in Montreal, it’s a custom for events to have a land acknowledgement before the beginning of the event to say that it belonged to natives. And that it, you know, that we are the settlers, we are the colonizers. and like to have a little speech about that every event, you know? So that’s something that’s popular here. Another thing is that Montreal, a lot of time, people still like PA there was a movement to kind of bring back its native name, which I know how to write, but I can’t say it. I don’t know how to pronounce it, so I don’t want to butcher it, but, uh,

Angela Lin: No we’re ignorant people? No, we don’t. Yeah, I actually, I wanted to talk to you about this too, because I had the sense that Canada was a little bit more like, um, placed a little bit more effort into acknowledging the history and like existing continued population of native people. Um, because the U.S. It’s weird. We have a really weird relationship, um, with native people in history in that, like, we have a really rough history with native people, obviously.

Angela Lin: Um, but do you guys have reservations?

Lil Waterboi: Yeah we do.

Angela Lin: So, yeah, we definitely still have a lot of reservations in the states and a lot of native people still live on them. Not all of them, obviously, but like, and it’s still a segregated kind of part. And then the, a lot of people there, um, rely on like casinos are often in reservation land and they rely on that as their money or whatever. Um, but we don’t, we don’t acknowledge much beyond that. It’s like we, the government essentially was like, well, we recognize we like fucked up and killed 90% of you or whatever. So here’s like, we carved out some land for you. And like, this is your reward, not reward. What’s that. What’s the word it’s like retribution?

Lil Waterboi: Yeah. It’s like, um, kind of your compensation prize or…

Angela Lin: Yeah, something like that, essentially. Right? Like take it or leave it. Like, this is all we’re giving you as like the make good. Um, but no, we don’t do any of that.

Lil Waterboi: I was just going to say like, don’t get me wrong. Like Canada’s not any better at all. Like that is the exact same history with Canada is just like, I don’t know, like Canada has this thing where that tries to look good.

Lil Waterboi: At least. Yeah, I hope there’s like progress in that regards. Like, I mean, like, I, I don’t ever think it’s too late to like, you know, make amends with these communities and try to actually like bring them back into, you know, flourishing kind of times, but like, yeah, it’s just, it’s pretty rough with.

Angela Lin: Yeah, it is pretty rough. And for those that want to learn a little bit more, we do have, we had an episode, um, with one of Jesse’s friends, who’s half Navajo. Um, so we have an episode called the other 1%, which is about we filmed, we recorded it for indigenous peoples or Columbus, which ever on you subscribed to, um, day, a couple of years back.

Angela Lin: Um, and we, we talked a little bit about that experience and her perspective was definitely like. It’s weird because native people still exist and they are, we call it the 1% because they, I guess they make up about 1% of the continued population. Um, but she’s like, people always talk about native people.

Angela Lin: Like they’re just history, but she’s like, we’re still here. Like I still live here and we’re still like, you know, living, breathing, active parts of the population, but we’re forgotten. So. It’s kind of weird in that sense. Well, on that depressing note.

Jesse Lin: Turn, turn the frown upside down,

Angela Lin: Turn it.

Jesse Lin: All right. We’re going to, we’re going to move onwards into the closing segment, the fortune cookie.

Jesse Lin: And we’re going to try to bring the energy up a little bit by talking about, um, our craziest family Thanksgiving story. Lil Waterboi would you like to start? Or it could be a friend’s giving it doesn’t matter.

Lil Waterboi: Yeah. Um, let me think this is so sad, but I remember one of my Thanksgivings.

Angela Lin: No, that’s not sad that that’s exactly what we wanted.

Lil Waterboi: No I’m just saying, like, I forget, like it’s not that this one was so memorable is that I forgot all the other ones, then nothing happens. It’s not a fun holiday here, but I can’t tell if it’s Christmas or Thanksgiving, but I remember buying a Turkey that’s that’s as, as an adult, you know, like usually my parents buy it.

Lil Waterboi: I remember buying a Turkey at some point. That’s my coolest story I got for you guys unfortunately.

Angela Lin: Was it, um, like, uh, hard to get the turkey? What made it interesting for you to remember that you got this turkey?

Lil Waterboi: Um, I was just trying to think really long and hard about how I would cook it. And then I was just like, this is way too complicated.

Lil Waterboi: I went to a place already had turkeys made, you know, and they had a pretty good Turkey and that’s the story.

Angela Lin: You know, TBH, one of the best turkeys I’ve ever had was when I was still in high school. And I used to, I don’t know about you, but, um, when I was growing up, like a lot of these Western holidays, I was the one at home making like a big deal out of it to be like, no, we have to celebrate Thanksgiving or we have to celebrate Christmas or whatever, because in Asian culture, especially if your parents are like immigrants. They didn’t necessarily celebrate these things. So I was the one making a fuss and so I was like, we need a Turkey. And so my mom was like, okay, we’re going to Costco then. Cause I’m not going to like, you know, I’m not doing this whole thing, like from scratch. So we got like a frozen. Pre smoked Turkey, I think.

Angela Lin: And all you had to do was like heat it up. Essentially. It was already like cooked, but it was frozen. And then you just heat it up. I was like, this is very good. And it’s a Costco turkey. That’s one of my best turkeys.

Jesse Lin: Look, the Costco is very good. Very good.

Lil Waterboi: You guys have fries and gravy out here? Sorry. Wait, Costco question.

Jesse Lin: No, no, I don’t think we even have fries at the Costco

Lil Waterboi: You guys are missing out

Angela Lin: I’m sure there are fries.

Jesse Lin: oh, at the food court. Yes.

Lil Waterboi: Yeah at the food court. Yeah. I’m talking about food court the part where you get food.

Jesse Lin: I don’t think so. I think it’s just fries. Okay.

Angela Lin: Pizza, hotdogs. Yeah. The chicken bake thing. Um, Sundays churros? I think though Costco is actually one of those places that does a lot of local tailoring.

Angela Lin: Cause I don’t know if you’ve noticed, like in different cities they will sell different shit. Um, I think at least one Costco sells like Boba somewhere.

Lil Waterboi: That’s crazy.

Jesse Lin: Yeah. I mean, they’re starting to sell like more Asian stuff in like neighborhoods where there a lot of Asian people

Jesse Lin: You mean every

Angela Lin: Costco. No. I’m saying every Costco is mostly Asian.

Angela Lin: I’m telling you no, no, this is an off topic anecdote. But when I moved to Chicago for business school, um, my parents helped me move in and we had to go buy all this shit, like furniture and like groceries and whatever. We went to Costco and it was like, okay, Chicago is in the Midwest. So everyone was like white or black, essentially.

Angela Lin: That’s like the majority demographic. And I was like, I haven’t seen a single Asian person. And then we drove like 30 minutes outside Chicago to go to the closest Costco and everyone was Asian. I was like, my people it was like nowhere else, but just in the Costco,

Lil Waterboi: That’s hilarious

Angela Lin: You always can find them.

Jesse Lin: Yeah. Um, my craziest Thanksgiving story, to be honest, I don’t think I have a super crazy one either, um, I remember this one year I have my senior year of college.

Jesse Lin: I was a residential assistant and I don’t, didn’t usually go home for Thanksgiving from New York because it’s a long Trek and you don’t really have that many days off from school. So I stayed and I had to host an event because I was there on Thanksgiving. And. It was very sad because it was like all the remaining people who couldn’t go home or like, didn’t go home or like, didn’t have anyone else to hang out with.

Jesse Lin: But the, event was like pretty good. I got like a full thing that was pre-made from whole foods. And the only big snafu was the Turkey didn’t really fit in the oven. So I had to like jam it in there. And then when I took it out, the like foil basically got ripped on the bottom of it. Cause I was like pulling it out and then, uh, I, I basically dripped juice all the way down from my room into the basement where the event was happening.

Angela Lin: At least you didn’t start a fire. That’s what I thought you were going to say.

Jesse Lin: No, no, not that, not that unskilled.

Angela Lin: Um, I don’t remember a crazy. Thanksgiving like of the Thanksgiving part, but because we were talked about black Friday and it is definitely all rolled into one, a lot of times for Americans because black Friday has gotten like more and more egregious every year.

Angela Lin: It used to be literally had to be Friday. Like, I, I remember way back when we were kids, it was. 6:00 AM doorbusters on Fridays. Like what they would call it. 6:00 AM. And then every year they’d like roll it back further and further. And then the norm was like midnight, but nowadays it’s like 4:00 PM, Thursday.

Angela Lin: Like Thanksgiving day, they will start black Friday stuff, which is terrible because then you’re not with your family anymore. Um, but I remember Jesse, you might’ve been there. It was one year when I was living in New York and we did a Friendsgiving. And we got, we ate too much and we drank too much wine, but all of us were like, we’re gonna go to Black Friday.

Angela Lin: Um, so we like stayed up or move. You took like a 30 minute nap or something because it was midnight was when the sores that we wanted to go to started their sales. And we walked down to Soho, I think, to the urban Outfitters and it was madness. Like it was, we got there, you know, a little bit before midnight and there was a huge line and they opened the flood gates and it was just like foul, you know, like I’m exaggerating.

Angela Lin: Hundreds of 20, some young, 20 something year olds, like running into the Urban Outfitters, just like mad dash and grabbing everything. And I just remember, I was like, okay, I’m I only want like one specific thing or whatever. So I went in, I was like, this looks like it. I’m just grabbing it. I was just like grabbed like 10 things, ran to the dressing room.

Angela Lin: I was one of the first people down there. And when I came out with all my stuff, it was just like a fucking mad house. And I was so happy that I was the first person to get into the dressing room because otherwise I would have waited for like three hours.

Jesse Lin: Yeah, it’s crazy.

Angela Lin: I would rescind my story.

Lil Waterboi: I have a better one.

Lil Waterboi: And it’s actually, if you count black Friday, then, like I’ve done black Friday in the morning and it’s not, it’s not Canadian Thanksgiving anymore, but I’ve done black Friday. It’s pretty crazy. Uh, I don’t know if I told you guys, but my dad’s American. Um, he,

Angela Lin: No, I don’t think you told us.

Lil Waterboi: So he used to work in Quebec in engineering, but he got a better job in Arizona.

Lil Waterboi: So he moved there, he got a green card and everything he’s been there for a long time. He recently came back though, but he was there for a long time. So, uh, one of when I was like, in my teenage years, me and my sister, we went to a black Friday thing. It, was at a, uh it’s between Arizona and California, it wasn’t.

Lil Waterboi: It was Cabazon?

Jesse Lin: Nevada?

Lil Waterboi: No, it was in California I think.

Angela Lin: Lil Waterloo was trying to like name an actual outlet and Jesse just names an entire state.

Jesse Lin: It’s a giant outlet.

Lil Waterboi: Yeah. But there was an outlet, I think it was called Cabazon. I can’t remember, but it was like, it was dope. Like even our boxing day doesn’t get that crazy.

Lil Waterboi: But yeah, people were out there, uh, in the midnight, like you said, like camping and whatnot and uh, yeah, we, we did some shopping and that was a fun time. I definitely think American Thanksgiving is more fun.

Angela Lin: And what is boxing day? I’ve heard of this vaguely…

Lil Waterboi: Wait you guys don’t have Boxing day? I thought boxing day was American.

Lil Waterboi: No, it’s after Christmas. I am so shook. Like my world. I’ve always thought it was American ok wait boxing days. Yeah. People returned there. Okay. This is the reasoning behind it, but it’s just another capitalist holiday to sell shit. But the reasoning is that, uh, people get Christmas gifts and sometimes they don’t like it and they return it.

Lil Waterboi: And like a lot of inventory gets left. Like, you know, uh, no one buys it and like it it’s past Christmas. So they do like one last day of sales. And at December 26th, it’s called boxing day. It’s basically our black Friday. That’s why I thought black Friday was about gifts because that’s what boxing day is about.

Angela Lin: Hmm. Interesting. I mean, it kind of is because you’re buying for Christmas, but yours is to return gifts and buy leftover gifts.

Angela Lin: Exactly. Buying leftover. So wait, you guys don’t shop on the 26?

Jesse Lin: I mean, you can, and then there are like some sales.

Lil Waterboi: Whoa my, um, one of my long-term collaborators, like JT on the beat, he’s from Florida.

Lil Waterboi: I’m going to go ask him about boxing day. Now I’m just too shocked about this.

Jesse Lin: He’s going to be like, what’s that?

Angela Lin: Yeah. Well, if he has been in Canada for a while, he probably knows.

Lil Waterboi: He’s been for three, four years, but like still he, like, he never had family here.

Angela Lin: Well, we have two separate capitalist based sale day haul semi holidays.

Lil Waterboi: We joined it on yours. You guys should come over here and check out Boxing Day. See what it’s about.

Angela Lin: Okay.

Jesse Lin: It’s going to be too cold

Jesse Lin: Facts. It will unfortunately. Well, you’re from New York. You can handle the cold.

Jesse Lin: I’ve been working from home this whole time and I have no out outdoor immunity anymore. I walk outside and I’m like frozen.

Angela Lin: Yeah. Okay. Well, thanks for joining us on this very random topic.

Angela Lin: Thanks for having me. I love that I represent Canada on this topic. You will always represent Canada for, for us on this podcast. Uh, but well, you want to plug one more time? What you got coming up for what just dropped?

Lil Waterboi: 10 rings. Um, if each it’s a song about the Shang-Chi uh but just, I guess, like I kinda got inspired off of like the, the Asian representation and how cool it was to have an Asian superheroes. Hopped on that topic made a song. Um, and then I called up two of my Asian rapper friends Mix Miyagi and Ace Autmn and they delivered.

Lil Waterboi: So check that out. 10 rings on all streaming platforms.

Angela Lin: Yes. Um, and people can find you on streaming, but also Instagram, other social?

Lil Waterboi: A little water boy, L I L space water, but boy, with an “I”. And if you guys want to look into like our collective slash. Like music, studio music. Um, it’s called BAHAY collective B a H a Y that’s Filipino that’s Tagalog for home – BAHAY collective.

Angela Lin: Yes. All about it. Okay. Well, thank you.

Jesse Lin: So everyone, I hope you enjoy meandering along with us on this episode where we touched on very many wide and varying topics. But if you have any questions, if you have any feedback, if you want to just let us know what your favorite Thanksgiving holiday is, which one, the Canadian, the United States, one, maybe your favorite foods, maybe your favorite traditions.

Jesse Lin: Write us in at telluswhereyourefrom@Gmail.com.

Jesse Lin: And check out a Lil Waterboi when you get a chance. Okay. And come back next week because we have a fresh batch of episodes brewing for you coming out every Friday for quite a while.

Categories
Uncategorized

Icebreakers – Get to know us better

Angela Lin 0:09
Okay!

Jesse Lin 0:11
Hello!

Angela Lin 0:12
Hello. This is weird for us because this is which is probably very annoying for all of you to hear just now on audio only, but here we go whatever deal with it. Anyways, so yeah, we are really excited to actually be together for the first time since we’ve done this podcast. Yes. Um, and yeah, we’re gonna do something fun today, because we have old listeners, new listeners. But before we do that, life updates.


Full Transcript (Note: Transcribed via AI, may contain errors)


Jesse Lin 0:45
Yes. So I survived COVID as you can see on camera and in audio, and also through many of the episodes that we have been recording.

Angela Lin 0:57
Did you have COVID during some of those episodes?

Jesse Lin 1:00
I did get COVID at some point, I don’t think I was sick while I was recording. So yeah, I was double vaccinated. And then I went out and partied too hard and I got COVID Anyways, but it was okay. The vaccine did what it was supposed to do I just like kind of bad cold feeling. And then it just went away. And I went back to my regular life.

Angela Lin 1:21
Well, I’m happy you’re good now.

Jesse Lin 1:24
Yes, yes. Other life update things not really just been ramping up my 2019 resolution, which is to party more so..

Angela Lin 1:32
2019 resolution?

Jesse Lin 1:33
Well, 2020 was like a wash right? Like why didn’t get to do anything in 2020. So then I went – I told you I went to EDC, which is so much fun. And then afterwards, like the I took off a few days around Halloween and just like partied through the weekend. And now here I am alive.

Angela Lin 1:53
Meanwhile, we forgot to do our intro.

Jesse Lin 1:58
Welcome back to but where are you really from?

Angela Lin 2:02
I’m Angela Lin.

Jesse Lin 2:03
And I’m Jesse Lin.

Angela Lin 2:06
And as you can see, we are professionals. Yes. Yeah. And this is clearly not our first episode.

Jesse Lin 2:12
This is okay, if this is a brand new setup, can we just we just applaud ourselves for the fact that we used like spit in some glue to put this together.

Angela Lin 2:21
You have no idea what the fuck it’s taking right now to make this setup. We got two tripods, we got a webcam. We got a mic. We got another laptop with our outline so many things going on right now.

Jesse Lin 2:32
Yes.

Angela Lin 2:32
And so if it doesn’t sound as good as usual, I’m sorry. We’re trying new shit.

Jesse Lin 2:37
I think it’ll be fine.

Angela Lin 2:38
I think so.

Jesse Lin 2:39
What are you life updates on your end?

Angela Lin 2:41
Um, life updates, lots of updates. Well, I quit my job. Thank you. Thank you. It was I mean, I’m pleased with how I wrapped it up because I think I can say this. I mean, it doesn’t matter. But yeah, I launched Far Cry 6. If anyone is a gamer, I led that marketing campaign and it was like, killing me for the last six months the amount of work I was doing, but it was very well received. Giancarlo Esposito aka Gus Fring was our villain. And he’s like, prime featured in all our ads, and I’m very pleased with what we came up with. And anyways, I feel good about it. It’s like my last kind of like pride, prideful, proud moment. proud moment of corporate America.

Jesse Lin 3:28
Yeah, good way to exit.

Angela Lin 3:30
Yeah, before I left, so that’s my big life update. And then accordingly, basically, since May, which we have been recording sometimes during that too. But we left San Francisco and we’ve just been nomads this whole time. So we’ve been kind of like hopping city to city. So that’s why I get to be with Jesse right now, is that we’re finally we’re spending a month in New York, and then we’re gonna be hopping around. We’ll be in Europe and then Asia for a lot of next year.

Jesse Lin 3:59
That sounds so exciting. I really wanted to do that. But I have a cat animal cannot like leave to for too many days.

Angela Lin 4:06
Yes. But we’ve discussed that you’ll you’ll I’ll keep you updated on where I’m at. And you can decide when and where.

Jesse Lin 4:12
Oh, yeah!

Angela Lin 4:12
You could hop over to visit yeah!

Unknown Speaker 4:15
Yeah, I just think I want to like also spend more time doing my own traveling as well.

Angela Lin 4:19
Yes, sure.

Jesse Lin 4:21
At some point, but yeah, it’s been good.

Angela Lin 4:24
Good. Well, okay, so like I kind of teed up earlier because also because we’re doing this new format with video which is new for us as well. And we wanted to do a little bit of a kind of like re introducing ourselves getting to know each other for the listeners.

Jesse Lin 4:45
But how well do you guys know us anyways, so..

Angela Lin 4:48
Yes, so we are doing everyone’s favorite thing when you get a new job or you’re at a party

Jesse Lin 4:54
So much fun.

Angela Lin 4:55
Everyone loves this. We’re doing icebreakers

Jesse Lin 4:57
I personally actually I enjoy icebreaker cuz I’m like, I find it really hard to come up with topics to socialize with people about and icebreakers is a format where, like, you can ask their questions already asked for you. So like, no matter how awkward the question is, it’s not like you being awkward. It’s just like, oh, it’s a question that round.

Angela Lin 5:15
I see. Yeah, I am usually not a fan of icebreakers. I feel like we’re in a safe space here. So I’m okay with it. But I usually don’t like them. Because I feel like people are judging you based on your answers. Because a lot of times it’s like, what’s the like, craziest thing you’ve ever done? And then based on your answer, it’s like, oh, you’re lame. Or you’re Oh, that’s respectable.

Jesse Lin 5:40
Fair.That’s fair. Yeah. And it’s like hard in a professional environment. Because you can’t be like, I was on Oh, rager on ton of drugs and I danced for like, 24 hours a year. It’d be like, what’s the craziest thing professionally!

Angela Lin 5:52
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So dunno. But I think we’ll, we’ll have fun today with each other.

Jesse Lin 5:59
Let’s get into it.

Angela Lin 6:00
Let’s do it. Okay, Jesse. You’re up first. Okay. Okay. Imagine you could teleport anywhere. Where would you go right now?

Jesse Lin 6:10
Does it have to be a real place? No. Okay. I think I would, I think I would teleport myself to like Harry Potter land. If I could be a wizard. That would be a lot of fun.

Angela Lin 6:24
Any specific part of Harry Potter’s world

Jesse Lin 6:27
So not England, because it’s cold and dreary, a bit like okay, JK Rowling did not really write much about as far as I’m aware, like other magical places like they are featured sometimes. But I would probably be like, let me go to somewhere in Asia, I think you’ll be really interesting to be…

Angela Lin 6:45
So basically, you just want to be able to teleport into like a wizardry world like a world in which there is actual magic.

Jesse Lin 6:53
Yes. Okay. Yes. I mean, like his growing up a lot of the things that I like reading were like fantasy books with a lot of like magical elements in them. So I think it would be really cool to be in a fantasy land and see how that is.

Angela Lin 7:06
What if you What spell would you want to cast first? Or like power would you want to tap into first?

Jesse Lin 7:14
Oh my gosh that’s so hard? Mmm hmm. I would maybe say it will be really cool to have like, do like a mind reading thing? To be able to read people’s minds. Yeah. Just to see what it’s like?

Angela Lin 7:33
What if you hate it?

Jesse Lin 7:35
Well it’s magic? I’ll just make go away.

Angela Lin 7:36
Oh, the kind that you can like cuz the spell?

Jesse Lin 7:38
Yeah, it’s a spell.

Angela Lin 7:39
Okay. Yeah. Cuz I, I don’t know what TV show or movie or maybe it’s just a recurring power that is tapped into a lot in film and media. But like, yeah, where you can’t control it. And then you’re just like, bombarded with people’s thoughts all the time.

Jesse Lin 7:53
No just temporary.

Angela Lin 7:54
Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Cool. All right. Yeah, go for it. Well, you got to click the button. It generates them.

Jesse Lin 8:02
Oh, I see. Okay. What did you want to be when you grew up? I feel like you kind of have answered this question in the past.

Angela Lin 8:12
Have I?

Jesse Lin 8:13
Well you said you wanted to do A&R right?

Angela Lin 8:14
Yeah, well, I guess I guess when I hear this type of question, I think of like a child kid?

Jesse Lin 8:21
Little kid you.

Angela Lin 8:22
Little kid me had no idea what my options were like, I think I actually did go back to my yearbook from like elementary school and I wrote like that or something because I was just like, animals. I don’t know.

Jesse Lin 8:33
You wrote in your yearbook?

Angela Lin 8:34
No, like in the yearbook, I think for kindergarten or something. They made choose like what we wanted to be

Jesse Lin 8:43
Yeah, they need to do that. As a kid. I remember I have like a thing hanging at home that has my picture. And it’s like, these are the things I like, and like, this is what I want to be.

Angela Lin 8:50
Yeah, although in my mind also separately. Like teleporting myself back to my old childhood times. I’m like, I wanted to be a Sailor Moon character. Like Sailor Jupiter I think she’s that yeah, she’s like the sporty one. Like could kick kick butt Yeah. So yeah, either a real life job that apparently or Sailor Jupiter

Jesse Lin 9:18
Interesting. Yeah. Was but did you have like other hobbies? As a kid?

Angela Lin 9:23
Yeah. No, we just made up shit. Remember? It’s like it’s all your imagination. So I remember just like running around outside and like making up games and like pretending I was like a horse like speeding around or like doing random shit like that. So I know I don’t know. I dunno hhat else? Hobbies as a kid? I mean you’re just playing.

Jesse Lin 9:44
Mm okay, that’s fair.

Angela Lin 9:46
Define hobbies. Like you crafting over here when you’re 10?

Jesse Lin 9:50
No, no, but I do remember I really like sticker collecting. Not that translates into a career, but…that oh here but um,

Angela Lin 9:59
I mean, I drew a lot – I went to drawing classes for like, three years or something,

Jesse Lin 10:05
And you never wanted to be an artiste?

Angela Lin 10:07
You know, I don’t think so. Yeah, it was something that like, I think I have many skills where I’m like, quite above average, but I’m not a master and I don’t have the patience to like put in the hours to become a master.

Jesse Lin 10:23
Yeah. So I feel that very much in many of the things except in the sense that I didn’t even start the things so I’m further away from

Angela Lin 10:31
Well, we all have different talents. Okay, let’s see what yours is. Okay. Would you go in the mothership with aliens if they landed on Earth tomorrow?

Jesse Lin 10:45
Oh my god. That’s so random.

Angela Lin 10:46
I love this – wait these icebreakers I would love if they were in a real party.

Jesse Lin 10:51
Okay, I need to ask some clarifying questions. Are they hot aliens?

Angela Lin 10:55
They can be you can imagine the aliens however you want to imagine them.

Jesse Lin 10:58
Okay, they all look like they all look like Captain America. Okay, okay. Are they trying like will they murder me if I go with them?

Angela Lin 11:09
¢You don’t know. You have to make that risk assessment yourself.

Jesse Lin 11:17
I think I would go if they all look like Captain America.

Angela Lin 11:20
What if they look like the generic alien that…

Jesse Lin 11:22
I would not go. Because Okay, here’s my thought. Is that like, the aliens are here. So if they kill me, it means you’re going to kill everyone anyways. Yeah, right. So I might as well be the first person killed and be surrounded by really hot Captain America’s rather than the last person killed and potentially not be surrounded by hot Captain America’s. If it’s just a regular alien, no. In reality, but like I probably the real answer is I wouldn’t, because I I’m a very risk averse person. So probably like, I’m not going like…

Angela Lin 12:01
I mean, the real answer is that you’d have no choice and they would take you if they wanted to take you.

Jesse Lin 12:05
That’s true wow.

Angela Lin 12:08
Like it’s a fun question. But realistically, if aliens wanted your ass, they’d take you.

Jesse Lin 12:14
But why would they want my ass

Angela Lin 12:15
Experiment?

Jesse Lin 12:17
Why not experiment on Captain America?

Angela Lin 12:19
They could choose anyone they had their you know their sights on you.

Jesse Lin 12:23
Okay. I’m feel very privileged and blessed to be number one

Pick any band to play at your funeral.

Angela Lin 12:34
Oh my god wait this is such a short question. But my thoughts went so many places until funeral that’s depressing. But I guess we’ve talked about this before a little bit. Yeah, funeral we would prefer becomes more like a celebration of life as opposed to a sad

Jesse Lin 13:27
Like a New Orleans funeral.

Angela Lin 13:29
Sure. Yeah. Hmm. Interesting. Band to play at my funeral.

Jesse Lin 13:40
Your high school marching band?

Angela Lin 13:42
God no. Absolutely not. I mean, I’m just thinking like, what’s a groovin? You know what? Recently we were at a restaurant and Frank Ocean’s whole album from like, 2000.

Jesse Lin 13:56
Blond?

Angela Lin 13:57
No, the old one.

Jesse Lin 13:59
Channel orange.

Angela Lin 13:59
Yeah, I was playing like the entire album. I was like, I forgot how amazing Frank Ocean was. He’s got like, he’s got beats and the capability to tap into like sad stuff. And he’s so smooth – maybe Frank Ocean?

Jesse Lin 14:14
Is Frank Ocean a band though?

Angela Lin 14:15
Can’t he be a band?

Jesse Lin 14:16
I guess he could come with the band.

Angela Lin 14:18
He would have a backup band. Okay, okay, that’s my answer. Okay. It’s not gonna be fucking like, Coldplay or anything.

Jesse Lin 14:24
And would you ask him to perform things off of his album or you’d ask him to perform like specific songs?

Angela Lin 14:29
Well, I’d be dead so I wouldn’t be able to…

Jesse Lin 14:32
You have to write it in your your thing. You’d be like Frank Ocean’s coming, this is the set list.

Angela Lin 14:37
He can freestyle, based on what the mood is, you know, or where he wants to take the mood of the room.

Unknown Speaker 14:44
So like, a beats and melody, My Heart Will Go On?

Angela Lin 14:47
Sure. Yeah. Oh, that might be good. I would. I could lean into that.

Jesse Lin 14:55
Pull out your phone.

Angela Lin 14:56
No we can’t do that.

Jesse Lin 14:57
Do you know what your most used emoji is off the top of your head?

Angela Lin 15:00
Oh, my most used emoji, no, I use many, but I’ll give you the the ones I like use over and over again. I use the side I cuz that’s me

Jesse Lin 15:11
Like the eye?

Angela Lin 15:12
No no no the side eye where it’s like..

Jesse Lin 15:14
Oh yes, yes, yes, yes.

Angela Lin 15:16
You know. Yeah, that one I use a lot. I use I feel like I use fire a lot. Um, I use that one where he’s going like this with a hand like…

Jesse Lin 15:29
Did you know that that’s supposed to be a hug?

Angela Lin 15:31
No, I didn’t know, that doesn’t look like a hug at all.

Jesse Lin 15:37
It does not

Angela Lin 15:37
He looks like a mischievous little bastard that did something to fuck you up.

Jesse Lin 15:41
Like a clown

Angela Lin 15:42
Yeah, yeah, I use that a lot. Oh, and then the upside down. Smiley. I think it represents a lot without saying anything.

Jesse Lin 15:52
The upside down smiley?

Angela Lin 15:54
Oh, yeah. Use it in many instances. If you could live in any country, which country would you pick?

Jesse Lin 16:04
Oh, man. It’s hard. Like, though most realistic answer is that it will I think it would be very hard to leave the states because my family is here. My friend is here. My professional network is here. And also like, to reorient yourself to a completely different culture and like different ways of doing things I think would be really hard to do. But I would say probably the most realistic country that I could imagine myself moving to in the near term is like Taiwan, because I have the passport.

Angela Lin 16:40
Oh you got it? Nice. Congrats!

Jesse Lin 16:42
I have the passport. I have family there. Like I can kind of speak the language. It’s cheap. So from I don’t know, just like a purely practical standpoint, if I wanted to leave that would probably make the most sense.

Angela Lin 17:00
What about fantasy world version?

Unknown Speaker 17:03
Well, okay, so if you ask like introvert me, I will be like, I’m going to move to like the South Pole, like a science research station. Because that sounds like really fucking weird. And I’m gonna be stuck inside all the time. But it’s like snowing and beautiful and like, wasteland kind of thing. And then if you’re talking to, like, extrovert me, probably the most. I would probably move to Berlin. There’s lots of partying. There’s a lot of young people there. And there’s a lot of kind of different kinds of people there too. Because I remember the last time I went, we we got drinks with these guys on like a riverboat. And they’re like, yeah, we’re like refugees from like, Lebanon or so. Well, I want to like open so cool. Like it’s really nice to meet you and like hang out they were like very much integrated into like German society like pretty westernized at that point.

Angela Lin 17:56
I think Germany tries really hard to integrate their immigrants.

Jesse Lin 18:00
So but it was cool because you got to like there are a lot of different different groups of like young people there.

What is your go to TV show to watch at night?

Angela Lin 18:11
Um, I don’t have a go to we switch shows Ramon and I switch shows every night like we don’t do repeats at night. That like the question is asking at night, right? Versus like, what’s a go to TV show? Just in general? Yeah. If it’s like go to like, I’m just getting ready. And it’s background noise. How I Met Your Mother is my show because I’ve watched I rewatch the series like three times in Yeah, it’s fine. I feel like there was like a friends versus How I Met Your Mother divide. And I was never in the friends camp. Sorry. Um, so yeah, How I Met Your Mother in the background, but at night. We have been on a K drama binge. Like we just keep switching. Okay, like when we finish one k-drama we go to the next. So we are currently watching Hometown Cha Cha Cha.

Jesse Lin 19:01
What a good name.

Angela Lin 19:03
It’s a great name. I think in the past, I’ve plugged Startup to you, but you never watched it.

Jesse Lin 19:09
I haven’t watched any k-drama, it’s not high on my…

Angela Lin 19:13
I think they were never high on my list. And then I watched one and Startup actually was like my first real like a drama. And then I got hooked after like two or three episodes, and then it’s just like, okay, but in Startup, basically the like, repeating recipe of every Korean drama is that there’s like a lead girl, okay. And then there’s two guys like it’s always a love triangle. There’s always a love triangle. And they always call the like, there’s like the leads. So that’s the main guy, the main girl and then there’s the second lead is what they call the like the second dude who doesn’t end up with a girl in the end, who’s in the triangle. And in start up, there’s a character who is the actor that’s now in Hometown Cha Cha Cha. And he was so he got so popular in Startup because he was a second lead. So he got gypped as fuck. He’s way more interesting way better looking way everything better than the main lead. But she chose me lead in the end.

Jesse Lin 20:17
So that’s so much that’s so real life.

Angela Lin 20:19
It is real life right? Anyway, so then everyone on the internet loves him. So then they finally gave him his own now he’s the lead in Hometown Cha Cha Cha.

Jesse Lin 20:29
Ah, so interesting. Now, can I ask is there a k-drama where the love triangle is like a man choosing between a lady and a man?

Angela Lin 20:37
Actually, there is, I think I overgeneralize. It’s usually it’s a love triangle of some sort whether the main is a man or a woman. Okay, there’s two of the other gender. Because yes, one of our favorite ones is Itaewon class, which I know you saw briefly on Netflix, and that’s a guy lead with two girls vying for him. Yeah.

Oh, well, why?

Jesse Lin 21:04
No, I want like a guy. Oh, where a guy’s after him and a girl is also after him.

Angela Lin 21:09
Ooo progressive? Probably. I feel like there gotta be at least one.

Jesse Lin 21:14
I think that would be more interesting.

Angela Lin 21:17
I think that would be pretty interesting. Yeah. Let’s search for it. Imagine you can instantly learn any language, which would you choose?

Jesse Lin 21:28
Mandarin.

Angela Lin 21:31
You just mean you would be like, perfect at Mandarin because you can already speak.

Jesse Lin 21:34
Yeah. Yeah. Like I can. I would like I can read I can write like, perfect.

Angela Lin 21:39
That’s a big feat.

Jesse Lin 21:41
Because honestly, like, I just think it’ll be the most useful, like communicating with my family. And also, like, in theory, my odds of using it are higher, because it’s like, one in seven people are Chinese. And also, like, you know, going out in the city and ordering food, like, it’s nice when you can actually say what it is rather than be like, that or this. So, you know, they, the servers are like, okay, cool. Like, it’s fine, but you’re kind of like sorry

What is the strangest food you have ever tried? And would you eat it again?

Angela Lin 22:21
I feel like as Asian people, we’ve tried many things that Western culture would deem weird, but maybe isn’t that weird, like Top of Mind quick answers like intestines, right? But like, or like stomach lining, you know, tripe, essentially, and so many Asian things, and I like it, but could be weird, I guess strange in Western culture. But I’m trying to think if there’s something even weirder, that’s like, objectively weird.

Jesse Lin 22:49
Have you eaten, like, insects.

Angela Lin 22:51
No?

Jesse Lin 22:52
Scorpions?

Angela Lin 22:53
No, I haven’t eaten any of that stuff.

Jesse Lin 22:56
Any weird kinds of meat?

Angela Lin 22:59
I’ve got to right? Like, that’s what I’m trying to think about. I think I have eaten..

Jesse Lin 23:06
Quail

Angela Lin 23:07
Quail’s not weird that’s just a bird.

Jesse Lin 23:10
It sounds weird.

Angela Lin 23:12
It’s just like a prettier pigeon. Um, I feel like I ate – I ate alligators something when I was in New Orleans, and then I, you know, something that they eat down south that I find really weird that I did eat but I was like, blergh, I don’t like this is brains. Like because they call it sweet breads. Right? Sweet bread.

Jesse Lin 23:39
Is it sweet bread or sweet meat?

Angela Lin 23:42
I think. Yeah. And it’s it’s brain that they deep fry.

Jesse Lin 23:45
Whose brains?

Angela Lin 23:47
Like a cow or something?

Jesse Lin 23:50
Blergh

Angela Lin 23:50
I know. But it’s like, yeah, so maybe that. I mean, I find it weird.

Jesse Lin 23:55
That’s gross. Like I just your brain is just a giant vat of fat. So that doesn’t sound very appetizing. Just fried fried lard, basically.

Angela Lin 24:03
Yes. And I don’t like that texture to begin with me though. And I think I also had brain a different time to like, it was like part of a meal where they have like a little bit of it. And I was like blergh.

Jesse Lin 24:19
Also, every time I eat something like that, I’m like, there’s probably like fucking some kind of disease in this thing.

Angela Lin 24:27
I don’t think that if I’m eating into like a really high, high end kind of place because they would be out of business if they like didn’t properly clean things

Jesse Lin 24:37
It only takes one.

Angela Lin 24:38
I mean, you’re not wrong. You’re not wrong.

Jesse Lin 24:40
Well, sometimes it’s just like, it’s not that it’s not probably cleaned. It’s just like, the meat itself is contaminated. Or something.

Angela Lin 24:47
I see. Yeah. Okay, well, anyways, brain.

Jesse Lin 24:50
On that note, on that note.

Angela Lin 24:53
Hope you guys got to know us a little better through this weird icebreaker. These are weirder questions than I thought were going to come up. I thought it was gonna be like…

Jesse Lin 25:01
What’s your favorite color?

Angela Lin 25:03
What’s your favorite animal? What are you most proud of? That kind of stuff.

Jesse Lin 25:08
What am I most proud of good god…

Angela Lin 25:10
We can do about another time maybe? Yes. Okay. Well, closing out. I think fortune cookie or sweet treat that we always end on.

Jesse Lin 25:19
Not fried brains.

Angela Lin 25:21
No no brains today just a fortune cookie. We were going to say what is the most surprising or fun thing I guess we learned about each other?

Jesse Lin 25:32
What was the most surprising or fun thing

Angela Lin 25:36
That we learned about each other through this.

Jesse Lin 25:38
That you watch K dramas every night. I mean, like, I kind of knew that, but I didn’t fully know. And not that it’s surprising. Because you you did you you did watch like Asian dramas a lot. But I don’t see that immediate like Angela k-drama mix.

Angela Lin 25:58
Sure. Yeah, it’s not an obvious combo. I agree. I agree. It’s, for me it was that you said that you would choose to work in an observatory in the south pole by yourself.

Jesse Lin 26:11
I think that’s fun.

Angela Lin 26:12
I mean, yeah, but because you have this other side where it’s very extroverted party party, you need people. So that was surprising to me, because it sounded very, like so low.

Jesse Lin 26:21
Well I’d bring everyone down to party.

Angela Lin 26:24
Oh, well, that’s different. Okay.

Jesse Lin 26:26
No, I mean, we’ll see. Yeah. Okay, looks party.

Angela Lin 26:30
Well, anyways, we always learned thinking about each other, even though we’ve been friends for 1 million years. Well, this was, as we mentioned, a very experimental first episode back video, different setup, different format, all that kind of stuff. So we would be very interested to hear from all of you feedback on if you like this format, if you like that we’re in video if you like that you get to see us kind of more casually with each other. Or if there’s anything else that like topic wise or format wise, you’d be interested in seeing from us in the future. You can email us at telluswhereyourefrom@gmail.com the “you’re” is “y o u r e”

Jesse Lin 27:15
And tell us what’s the most interesting question you felt like was connected to each of us. You’re like, oh my god, that’s so weird that Angela or Jesse is interested in that. I want to know.

Angela Lin 27:26
Yes. Or send us your random icebreaker question that you’d like to hear our answer to.

Jesse Lin 27:34
Well, as always, there will be another episode for you guys next week.

Categories
Uncategorized

Islamophobia Twenty Years After 9/11


Angela Lin 0:20
Today we have not one guest but two guests. So we have Anna and Ziad, very special guests are joining us today. Hello, and welcome.

Jesse Lin 0:30
Hello, hello.

Ziad 0:30
Hello.

Anna 0:31
Hey

Angela Lin 0:32
Thanks for having us.

Yeah, so we have both guests on today, because we have a different kind of episode topic that we’re covering today. We’re actually recording this a few weeks in advance. But for those of you listening right now, it is the day before 911 – 20 years, actually, after 911 if all of us can even believe that feels like eons ago, and also like yesterday, in a lot of ways. So Jesse, and I certainly didn’t feel like we’d have the most direct or most impacted perspective from what happened that day. So we wanted to bring on guests who can provide perspectives from the Arab American, Arab diaspora, whatever you want to call it, perspective, and that’s why we have Anna and Ziad on. Before we go into any meaty stuff, though, we should introduce you guys. However you feel comfortable introducing yourselves. And however you feel comfortable answering our standard guest question. But where are you really from?


Full Transcript (Note: Transcribed via AI, may contain errors)


Anna 1:44
Okay, so Hello, everyone. My name is Andalusia Mossad, but for the purpose of the podcast just going by Anna. I am a speech language pathologist based in San Francisco. And my standard response to, but where am I really from or just where are you from in general is I’m Palestinian American. But I grew up pretty much my whole life in Dubai. But genuinely I don’t really feel from a particular place other than I feel very close to Palestine. And I feel most comfortable living in America. And that’s how I answer the question.

Ziad 2:26
First of all, I just like to start and say, I really liked the name of your podcast, just because it’s a question where are you really from? It’s something I’ve gotten my entire life and I’m always kind of leaves me befuddled not knowing what to say like, what do you mean where am I from? To answer that question, the way I would answer it is, um, my name is Ziad Elsahili, I’m from Portland, Oregon. I’m originally my ethnicity and my parents are both from Lebanon with one quarter Syrian. And yeah, Middle Eastern Arab descent. And I’m an American from Portland, Oregon.

Angela Lin 3:00
Love that. I know. It’s a funny question. And we we also have guests and listeners that are like, that’s a triggering question to be the name of your podcast.

Ziad 3:11
I mean, you guys have all heard that right. Your whole lives, like where are you really where are you from, yeah?

Anna 3:16
The most uncomfortable thing for me was, like in college when I first because I moved back to the states for undergrad. And in groups of people like my roommates knew where I was from. And it was such a standard thing that like, you’d be at a party, and people would just say, where are you from? And my roommates would always like, position it so that I was the last one to respond to the question. So they all were like I’m from a town in Wisconsin. I’m from a town in Wisconsin, and then it got to me. And they’re like, like, say the thing, Anna. And it always felt like a announcement, it was never fun.

Angela Lin 3:51
And Anna I will be annoying and kind of forced you to dissect a little bit more of your background only because it helps give context as to why we have two guests.

Anna 4:00
Okay, I will give. I’ll just give like a quick lifespan overview. I was born in St. Louis. My dad was finishing up his doctorate while I was there. And like age, zero until five, I was going between St. Louis and Turkey because he was doing research in Istanbul. So that’s where I lived in the beginning of my life. And then he got his first job as a professor in Dubai in 1998. So we moved over there. And so all of my earliest memories up through graduating high school were in Dubai. So why do I sound American because I went to an American school. Most of our teachers were from Minnesota. So I grew up in like a really American high school experience, but with all mainly expat people at my school and then when I graduated high school 2011 I did undergrad in Wisconsin and then, once I was done with undergrad, I moved to San Francisco.

Angela Lin 5:10
So before we get into the actual 911 part of it, I think we should dissect a little bit the like, route of what happened afterwards, which is kind of defining what Islamophobia is. Because I think for a lot of people, and Jesse and I aren’t, we always do this, we’re not experts, we don’t know anything. We’re just like, discussing the, to the extent we know about anything, right. But for me, at like the highest level, people who don’t understand the concept much or just like, oh, it’s about something around like terrorists, and something around like, brown people, like a very high level, right? There’s almost like a disconnect, even from the fact that the word Islam is like in the name Islamophobia. And it’s more just based on looks of like, especially their signifiers, right, that people often latch on to things like a turban, or just like any semblance to anything they’ve seen on TV during the like, you know, years of propaganda that we were served. I don’t know, I think for me, it’s like weird, because it must have had an impact on you, your community in terms of like, I don’t even necessarily identify with that. But I’m getting the results of people’s feelings about it. So not to say you guys are experts necessarily on the definition of Islamophobia, but like, how have you seen that concept, in terms of like, what it actually means and like, how it’s reflected on on your community?

Ziad 6:43
Angela, I think you really kind of hit hit it for me when you said it’s extends beyond Islam, it’s not just a Muslim thing. I think it’s, you know, people being scared or suspicious of people who are Muslim or Arab or brown in general. It’s definitely something that I would say is more phenotype driven, driven, rather than genotype driven, which is their physical presentation, rather than where they’re actually from. I mean, people are afraid of brown people on an airplane people, we’ve all heard the stories of American people calling on their neighbors for suspicion of illegal terrorist activity where there was no base or any kind of evidence to suggest that. To me, Islamophobia is a wide ranging type of fear or dislike for anyone that is perceived to be Arab or Muslim, not just Arabs or Muslim people.

Anna 7:45
Of course, the irony in that is, like, not all Arabs are Muslim, not all Muslims are Arabs, there’s actually, like, it’s not that huge of an overlap, when you think about those things.

Ziad 7:58
And literally, almost all Arabs and Muslims are nothing to be scared of, or whatever. So it’s just, it’s it’s not just Arabs and Muslims. That’s the crazy part. Like, I even had friends who have told me if they saw a man in a turban on an airplane, even if the man is not from the Middle East, which they wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between a man from India or a man from in their head from anywhere in the Middle East some sense of fear comes over them. And that, to me, really spoke to what Islamophobia is. And it’s not Islam, it’s just a phobia of people.

Angela Lin 8:36
It is kind of crazy town to me when I see like the news. So even not even just talking about 911. But in the years after, right, I think the news has latched on to a lot of crazy things like mass shootings, which certainly have increased to some extent, but I don’t know if it’s as frequent as the news makes it sound. But it’s like, every other day, it feels like on the news and saying something about something like extremist Islam related person who decided to like shoot up a whole place or do something, or bomb something or whatever. And I know, they’re just technically reporting facts. But for me, I’m like, I don’t know, I think you need to think a little bit about the implication of like blasting this kind of over and over again, and what other people who aren’t interested enough to understand the difference between people who might look similar but aren’t actually believing the same thing and aren’t driven by the same things like what the impact of it this type of news is all the time on those communities because, like, I can’t help if you can’t tell us apart, but that we don’t believe in the same stuff. And like, I’m not that kind of person. But you know, there’s an impact on on me.

Ziad 9:54
When there is a violent act, which are all just terrible, the way they report it. If it’s a Arab or a Middle Eastern person that is a terrorist. And if it is not, it is a troubled individual who has mental health issues. I think that’s some Islamophobia just built into the media, just public perception and reporting right there.

Anna 10:17
Yeah, when an act happens before they release who the like the person is, there’s always speculation about who it is. And there’s, and it tends to be like the initial and I hate going on message boards. And whenever this kind of stuff happens, because you look at the comments, and the first thing is like people saying, oh, for sure, it’s a Muslim, for sure. It’s an Arab, it’s another extremist blah, blah, blah, and like, that’s where people’s heads go to right away. Even though there’s a lot of times where that’s largely not the case. And it’s very distressing to have to go through that every single time there’s an act that happens before it’s released. Like what was the cause of it? Was it Islam related? Was it whatever it related? The panic that goes through me and I know, you know, my close friends and in our community is is really upsetting because it’s like oh, my is this another situation that’s going to other us further in mainstream America and like confirm some biases for a lot of people that even if they’re saying out loud that they are they’re not Islamic phobia blah blah blah. Like maybe in the back of their head? Is this confirming something for people? And that’s scary.

Angela Lin 12:52
Well, I think we’re already digging into the impact of post 911 because I gander to think those types of unconscious bias didn’t necessarily exist in people before that date. So I do want to zero in then on kind of the main topic for today, which is reflecting on your personal experiences before and after this big day. Jesse and I can start with our perspective, because it’s the least to like intimate. And for me, I do remember very distinctly, I was in sixth grade at the time, and I think my teacher must have heard something big happened. So then she turned on the TV. And we all as a class watch that iconic image of the towers, you know, starting to have all this smoke and the aftermath. And in our community growing up, we had a lot of Persian people, so from Iran, and that’s not the same type of people at all, but almost immediately, it was like the same day or the day after I distinctly remember being in the lunch cafeteria, and one of the little brothers of one of the kids in my class who’s Persian. They’re just like all these random heckler boys that were like, essentially like FU. Like why do you hate America? Like this is all your fault that those kinds of sentiments. I just remember thinking like, what that makes no sense. Like, this kid has nothing to do with what happened. And like, as of 10 minutes ago, you guys were friends. You know it just like it was a very quick turning point. And I certainly couldn’t process all of why that was happening or like how how bad and disconnected that was at the time, but thinking back on it it. I remember that moment pretty clearly. So I was like, oh, wow, things have changed very quickly.

Jesse Lin 14:54
I actually remember that when I woke up before school. My mom told me it was she was like oh, come you have to watch this thing on the TV, like, It’s nuts, and I was like, I was like, what, and like fourth or fifth grade. So I like didn’t, I don’t even think I knew what the World Trade Center was, I didn’t know exactly what was happening. And it’s like that kind of thing where you see as a kid, like, you don’t know how to process it, because it’s never happened before. And it’s not you don’t really understand like the scope of, of what it is. But I do remember that like the entire day afterwards, it was like pretty, it was a very different environment. Because I think even for, even though we lived in California, I think there were a few, a few kids in the class where they had like parents in New York doing business and stuff like that. So it was like a very serious situation, because like, some of them were called out because they didn’t know what had happened. And they had to be taken home by their other parents. I don’t remember having that experience, like seeing anyone picked on. And I feel like it didn’t necessarily change my own perspective on making friends with people. So I from that perspective, Angela, I agree with you, like, from my standpoint on like, it’s, it wasn’t a thing for me to select people or not. And I also think it’s largely because we did live in a bubble. So there were a lot of Asian people, a lot of people who just outwardly looked brown. And so what they weren’t, like rare, or like people that you don’t normally see every day.

Anna 16:20
So I was in second grade. So I was a little younger at the time, and it was the evening and Dubai when it happened. And it’s it’s not like a clear, you know, everyone says it’s like a flashbulb memory for them in the States, they remember exactly where they were. And I, for me, it’s more just a series of like small memories woven together, because I really didn’t understand the impact of what was going on. But I know that like the American Embassy sent out messages to all the Americans there. And I know some Americans left Dubai soon after that, like weeks after that, they decided that they would move back to the United States or somewhere else. But in terms of things before and things after. Afterwards, I do know, there was definitely increased security, because every summer we would go back to Wisconsin, and it just became a lot more complicated. And my dad’s name is Mohammed. So he always is questioned at the airport. And where it gets dicey to dissect is similar to how I like draw comparisons to being a woman, like sometimes you’re wondering, am I being treated like this because I’m a woman, or just because this is what’s happening right now? Like, that happens a lot to me in an air in the airports as an Arab with the last name that I have is like, Am I getting randomly checked because I’m an Arab? Or is it just a random check? And so you, you find yourself balancing that a lot. Living in, in the United States, once I moved into in 2011, I definitely had people make comments to me. And it was the first time I’ve ever been in a community where anyone had ever made negative comments about being an Arab or, you know, someone like wrote outside my dorm room, like on the whiteboard, dirty Arab, and like, I have people. Oh, yeah, yeah. And like, but the other thing is, like, I’m quite white passing. So when people don’t know I’m Arab, I’ve also had people like, make super Islamophobic, like rude comments in front of me without realizing where I’m from. And then it’s just this like, internal thing where I’m like, do I want to engage in this conversation? Or do I just bite my tongue because it’s so much more emotional for me than it is for them. And why even get into that? Any negative experiences I’ve had being an Arab have been, while I’ve been the United States, because growing up in Dubai, most of my friends were Arab, too so it was very much so a shared experience. And those who weren’t Arab, were very embedded in the culture in Dubai and were friends with a lot of Arabs. So when you have like all these inter woven communities, who really know each other and know what we value and stand for, like, it’s not going to change your interactions with each other, and it really didn’t being in a Muslim country. It only was, you know, when you take the plane over here.

Ziad 19:17
So I was in sixth grade, during 911. And I grew up in a suburb outside of Portland, and it’s probably one of the least diverse places in the country that I’ve ever been. It’s very much Caucasian American, and some good people there, but it’s just not very diverse. Before 911 I was, I would say most people, just thought I was a kid with a unique name and a different culture. Didn’t think much of it. Once 911 came and hit I remember the day it happened was before school. I was waking up before going to school with my mom and jida, which is grandma in Arabic who was staying the night at my house. Watching we’re all just in shock. Like, what the hell is happening? My mom was crying. I can’t remember if they canceled school or not. But I know I went to school, eventually, the day or two after. And yeah, after it happened, I would say it was a there’s definitely a before and after. I was picked on. Definitely dealt with a lot of bullying people, friends, people who were still my friends today, at times where they did that. People thought it was socially acceptable to call you a terrorist towelhead. Someone even recently called me a camel jockey. I mean, it doesn’t go away. And you know, some people do it out of racism. Some people do it because it’s something they can get away with, and try to get some laughs which is also racist in a way. But it was prevalent. I had teachers, coaches, people in just every, every facet, other people’s parents making comments. It wasn’t just the kids. It was they were learning that this was okay. And so that that part sucked like one little story was I played football in high school and high school is very far after sixth grade, but it was still a thing. And I, there was one other guy on the team from the Middle East. And he’s not even Muslim. But we were in the locker room for a minute, we had to like, go back down and come back up before the game. And one of the coaches said, gosh, where have you guys been? Someone said, you guys were praying in the showers before the game on like rugs, to Mecca. I know they were just saying that to get under our skin. But it was just like stuff like that came up a lot. From that experience. I definitely learned to have pretty thick skin. And like I said, Even today, people will still poke and prod at it. I still think it’s kind of socially accepted in a lot of circles in America right now to make fun of people from the Middle East. Not be like super pointed and hateful with racism, but making fun of a Middle Eastern person and calling them terrorist or towelhead. Some people still laugh at that, which sucks, but it’s a reality. And then yeah, just travel in general airports. I’ve been stopped a number of times, just based on racial profiling. They’ve even said it. I mean, one time I was coming back from Brazil to America, I was on a trip there it was in 2017 – 2018. Not that long ago. And I’m in the airport in Rio de Janeiro and we’re boarding and I get pulled off of the – I’m at the gate. And as I’m walking through the tunnel to the plane, someone comes and chases me down, pulls me and takes me into a backroom, looked around in the backroom and asked everyone their names one guy’s name is Muhammad, one guy’s Abnan, one guy’s name is you know, all Middle Eastern names. And Ziad. Yeah, we just all got randomly searched, and they dumped all our bags on the table and asked our stuff, it’s just an inconvenience. But that’s not the only time that’s happened. In Portland, I’ve been probably randomly searched every time I go through an airport. And then lastly, when I was coming back from Lebanon in 2019, with my now wife, we were going through Frankfurt, Germany. And in the airport in Germany, everyone had boarded except us. We were the only people I think, coming through from the Middle East through Germany to go to Portland. And we they had to hold the plane on the runway, we almost missed the flight because of how much extra random searching we were going through. So I mean, all of that, plus the bullying and stuff like that. I mean, you get used to it, for sure. But it doesn’t mean it’s okay.

Angela Lin 24:07
Wow. I mean, that’s messed up that you even have to get used to it, you know what I mean? That shouldn’t have to be you that’s adapting to that being a reality.

Ziad 24:18
Right.

Jesse Lin 24:19
Would you say based off of your experience that the way that people are outwardly treating you is was something that was that intention was there before this event happened and the event and all of the communications and news afterwards just gave people permission to express that? Or was it like something that came from the actual event and the media hullabaloo afterwards?

Ziad 24:43
I think a lot of people initially did it and stopped and in general, but the people who could have done that and continue to do it have had that in them from the beginning in general. And this was just an excuse to pick on someone for some reason about something.

Jesse Lin 25:00
Yeah, no, I asked that question because I think when a lot of the anti Asian hate around COVID started, I think a lot of people were like, Oh my God, why are people so crazy? Like they’re acting so ridiculous right now? And the truth is that like, it was already there, people just were Yeah, they didn’t have the permission to say those things. And this was the perfect excuse for them to just let it all out and have it be semi socially acceptable.

Ziad 25:25
I think that one’s different in the sense that there is a large Asian population here in the United States. And they’re, they’re definitely that did does exist and did exist prior to COVID for certain people. And I’m sure to some extent, but I think it’s a lesser extent, the anti Middle Eastern Islam Arab thing, because there just weren’t that many and people weren’t like, especially where I was from, they weren’t even really aware of what it was. Until 911.

Anna 25:54
I think, yeah, 911 really brought things to light. But racist depictions and like dehumanization of Arabs in general has been around for a long time.

Ziad 26:04
True, very true

Anna 26:04
Watch, watch an old Indiana Jones movie, look at an old Tintin comic book and like, you will see portrayals of, I mean, even Aladdin the Disney movie, it’s like, like, keep people like cutting off limbs, like for as punishment or whatever. So, you know, that has that is something that is has largely existed and was, but it was, like you said, just kind of running under the radar. And when there’s a reason to, like, really root it up and make it the popular consensus, like it was it was ripe to be, it was ripe to be like that. But yeah, those depictions have existed.

Angela Lin 26:46
So knowing how diverse the term Arab and the Arab community is, do you feel an affinity to other Arab people, even if they’re not from like the same part of that region that your family is from?

Ziad 27:38
When somebody tells me they’re from the Middle East and they’re not from like Lebanon or that area or neighboring countries? Honestly, it’s a mixed answer. Like, I don’t look at someone from the UAE, like originally, as being that similar to someone like me, at least from a racial and cultural perspective, other – the only thing we’re really connected by is the language and the predominant religion. But at the same time, there’s always that kind of connection, like, oh, you’re from this area, and you’re Arab. Like let’s talk about things like that. And I love that kind of interaction. I do that every time I’m like, I get an Uber and someone’s from the Middle East, and we’ll have an exchange. Or I go to like a counter an airport counter and someone will be like Ziad, your name, Ziad, where are you from? But they’re actually they’ll say, where are you from? They’ll say the same thing. I’ll tell them, but I’ll answer that one more directly, because I know what they’re getting at and I’ll ask them the same thing. So it’s a big, big question. Because like, then you have to ask yourself, like, what is Arab? Like, what does it mean? Because you could be from North Africa, or you could be from Yemen. Or you could be from Palestine, or any of these places, and you’re Arab. But they’re all pretty different too at the same time.

Anna 29:02
I do feel a kinship, a genuine kinship, even when the cultures are very different. It’s honestly especially when the cultures are different sometimes because it makes me curious. And I want to learn like a what’s like Moroccan Arabic sounds so crazy to me, but in a really cool way. Like it’s like completely different. And I love hearing the language, hearing how their words are different, like learning about what their experiences were like growing up. Because when you do have those overlaps, it’s very interesting to know like, wow, that is amazing how that travelled across so far. But also we have all these things that are different. An example that I can think of is I was in a train station in Paris, and I was totally lost and couldn’t figure out how to get to the train to the airport. And my French is terrible. So I went up to this random person and I was like, do you speak English in French? And they’re like, no, and then they started trying to help me get to the train station. I mean to the right platform. And somehow in this exchange, he asked me where I was from. And I said, I’m Palestinian. And then he said he was Egyptian. And then in Arabic, I was like, oh, do you speak Arabic? And he was like, yeah. And so then we just switched into Arabic. And it was like, we were joking around, he showed me, he walked me to the platform. And like, we had this immediate connection, it was, it was really, like, he was so excited. And I was so excited to have like, found another one of us somewhere else, you know. So I do get, I do get like a feeling of connection to those groups.

Jesse Lin 30:37
So should we transition over to our ending segment called fortune cookie, because we always like to end on a sweet treat.

Angela Lin 30:47
No specific timeframe. But like, in the general near future, do we feel like the fact that we are now in a move in a moment in time in society where we’re having a lot of conversations, frankly, like a lot more conversations that we’ve had before about race and people of diverse backgrounds, and accepting and celebrating people of different backgrounds, do we feel like that hopefully, in the future will will have a more positive effect on all people who have a non just like white background to them. I can start that I, I’m hopeful, I won’t put a timeframe to it. Because I can’t I don’t think I can say like, in five years, you know, we’ll all be like Kumbaya, or whatever. But I think we’ve never had a moment like this, where it’s like, going deep on reflecting the number of cultures and the impact of like, just acknowledging that we all exist and like that, it’s okay to be different and all that stuff. I think, in the next X number of years, hopefully, while we’re still alive, we’ll see the kind of like positive benefits of that.

Jesse Lin 32:01
I want to pile on to that and kind of add some additional information from my perspective as well, which is that like, I agree that this is kind of a flashpoint because it’s like made everyone confront the fact that everybody is a little bit racist, like, that’s the honest truth, like everybody has some reaction based off of how a person looks because of their skin color. And where I see the difference is that in this movement, I see a lot more of the majority doing navel gazing, meaning like, the white community is doing their own reflection. And I feel like previously, it was almost like the onus was on the minority community, like you would go around and you would have to explain to people like, this isn’t what you think it is like. And somehow, I feel a little bit that that’s moved on to the majority community, which I think is, is a good thing to see. Because people are starting to recognize that their behaviors have some kind of impact.

Anna 32:54
The most relevant thing for me has actually been just in the last few months. As a Palestinian, it was so shocking to me to see like this shift in, in social media, of people suddenly supporting Palestine. And people reaching out to me saying, I remember you’re Palestinian, are you okay? I mean, it’s amazing that suddenly people are saying things and people are speaking out. But, um, you know, for me, this has been a lifelong, like torture – it’s the word that comes to mind as this like a knife in your heart every time something happens in Palestine, and to suddenly have everyone like, notice. I felt like my initial reaction should have been joy, but it was like, yeah, it’s, um, yeah, it’s horrible. Yeah, it’s a really terrible situation. But once I was able to, kind of, like, move on from my being very cynical, and like upset about that. You know, I think it does point to a shift in the way that people are getting their information, you know, like, because mainstream media is no longer like the only source of information that means – you know, sometimes it’s not always great, but for better or worse, people are making their own news – and they’re deciding what they want to push to the front of the internet. And I think for Arabs, that’s, I think it’s a positive thing in some ways. There’s a lot of ways that it’s bad as well. So I’m a little hesitant to say that but I mean, this most recent thing with Palestine makes me in a very long term kind of way feel maybe more hopeful. But I unfortunately, I feel like a little pessimistic I’m not sure why still.

Ziad 34:52
Yeah. That’s a really good point about the response to most recent conflict in Israel and Palestine. And the support that you can see all through social media was very different than it ever has been, which was definitely a unique sign of the times. Building upon that, I think what you’ve also started to see is like with this stop Asian hate stuff, and the support Palestine and the BLM, proponents of all of these different causes are supporting one another too, and you’re starting to see like this podcast here, we’re trying to relate our experience to the Asian experience, and we’re coming together and thinking about how this type of thoughts and behavior goes away. I think this is the first time I’ve noticed a concerted effort across the board of kind of, you know, different diverse groups of people kind of saying this isn’t okay to do that to them, this isn’t okay to do that, to me, this isn’t okay to do that to anyone. And a lot of white people are doing the same thing. And I think I do see some hope there, that social media awareness, people coming together and all of that really helping get these messages across like, you see a ton of support in pro sports for the stop Asian hate. You’ve seen that on their jerseys or their clothing or attire, kind of when they’re coming in the arenas, you see commercials, you see big companies like Nike, and others promoting that message. So I think all of that’s positive. And at the same time, I think there’s a certain group of people that still exist, who are not going to change their minds anytime soon. And I think that’s a reality that you kind of have to accept, and hopefully over time, and I will never give a time limit on it either. But over time that kind of stuff just becomes super minority, like very few people are like that. And I just don’t know how long that’s gonna take.

Angela Lin 36:45
Well, let’s keep our rose colored glasses on for that x date in the future when all happens? Yes. Well, thank you both so much for joining us. I think we learned a lot as we always hope to do when we have guests on so appreciate you providing your perspectives that only you can do.

Ziad 37:05
Thanks for having us.

Anna 37:06
Yeah, thank you so much. It was really wonderful talking with you, too.

Jesse Lin 37:09
Likewise. All right. Well, listeners if you have any questions or story of your own to tell regarding this particular topic, please write us in. You can dm us on Instagram, or you can email us at telluswhereyourefrom@gmail.com the you’re is y-o-u-r-e. And as always come back next week –

Angela Lin 37:33
And actually don’t come back next week because this is actually our last third of this season. Come back in a few weeks we’ll announce when the when we come back. But as always Jesse, Jesse and I need a little break to recharge before the next season, so that we can bring us more awesome content later. But do listen back to all of our other episodes and tell some friends and until next season.

Categories
Uncategorized

The Lie-Flat Movement: Perils of the Chinese Dream


Jesse Lin 0:20
This week, we’re going to talk about an interesting social phenomenon coming out of China, as reported by a few news outlets, some Western, some Eastern called the tang ping, or live flat movement. And in essence, this movement is kind of a counter rebellion to the idea that people have to be working really, really long work hours in China. I’m not sure if all of you are aware. But obviously, like, you’ve had all of your stuff made in China for years and years and years, and probably didn’t really think about it, but their work hours are not really great. And also, this movement is also kind of in context of workers in even the high tech industry. So there were some was it Jack Ma? Jack Ma was like, Yes, I’m all for this 996 work schedule, which basically means you work from 9am to 9pm, six days a week. So the reporting on this is mostly just about how many people are have tried, they’ve tried to conform into this structure. They’re trying to find fulfillment in this idea that’s being pushed of what success looks like. And they’re kind of just like giving up after realizing they’re not finding much happiness following this kind of schedule.


Full Transcript (Note: Transcribed via AI, may contain errors)


Angela Lin 1:40
How did you first hear about it? Was that through one of the articles?

Jesse Lin 1:43
I think it was a New York Times article. So the funny thing is that like, I really don’t use Facebook anymore. But the random times that I do scroll through the timeline, sometimes I always, it’s mostly like news stories that stopped me. And usually, because I like the Times, so the Times shows up. And I think I found it through just randomly being on Facebook. And I saw it and I was like, oh, this is so interesting, because it’s not the exact experience we have here. But it’s akin to in my own thinking about like having a more realistic or relaxed like work life balance and actually finding a balance between it so then I opened it up and read it just to see like, what it was like. And I found a whole nother thing, which is slightly different. But like I said, like kind of resonated with me in terms of like, my own pursuit of like trying to find this balance. You?

Angela Lin 2:34
Um, Funny enough, I actually heard it from my dad. I think it came about because in conversation because Ramon was talking about his startup, and obviously he has a lot of ambitions. So my dad was kind of reacting to like the opposite of that, which is he was like, well, in China, there’s a funny thing going on right now, where young people are like, refusing to do work at all. Like, what the hell are you talking? Because like, yeah, they literally want to Lie down, lie flat. I’m not sure what you mean. But yeah, he was saying that most of it is in direct contrast to this, like extreme work, commitment, and long hours and work stress. But also, it’s a rejection of everything that young people in China are sold to believe is what success means. So like getting married, having kids buying property and like buying into consumerism in general. So one of the main slogans or mantras around this movement is to kind of reject all those things as well. Not just the work piece. So it’s really just like a getting by kind of movement, which is super interesting. But yeah, that’s how I heard about I was just my dad, and I was like, Oh, that’s a weird.

Jesse Lin 3:56
Was he like you should do it?

Angela Lin 3:58
Of course not. He was laughing at it. And he was, he was saying, actually, my cousin from one of his nephews is kind of like this. And it’s funny, because my cousin’s in Taiwan not in China, but I guess it’s just like, like you said that it partially resonated with you. Um, I think it’s generally like young people. There’s like commonality across countries as well. But he was saying that my cousin is like, in some company in Taiwan, and they wanted to promote him to VP. And he was like, oh, no, I don’t want that. Like, I don’t want more responsibility. I’m good. He rejected the promotion.

Jesse Lin 4:38
Wow.

Angela Lin 4:39
Which is really funny. Yeah. Because I feel like you and I have always just been like vying for the next promotion. Yeah.

Jesse Lin 4:46
You know, it is really interesting because like that is that’s kind of what resonated with me is it’s like this backlash against like, all the things you were told were true about your life and like what you want and of course, like, we’ve just through multiple episodes, like there are many facets of my life that I feel that to be true where I was pursuing, maybe something that was not true to what I necessarily wanted. Because instead of thinking about that I just took what people were saying about these are the these are the things you should want in life and try to, like, absorb that and set those as my goal and then like, the further along you get with it, the less it means anything to you, because you start to realize that it’s like, a false goal. And then, of course, there’s like this, I had a panic because I was like, oh, crap, like, I’m so far along on this, like, false, false way now that I’m like, oh, no, what, what do I do? And I guess, like, I can see there’s a, there’s the kind of like, maybe like three different ways, at least I can see like, you can try to like force it, like continue to just pretend you can try to like adapt, you can try to like merge it into something you want. Or you can just do this and you just be like, fuck it like, I’m out.

Angela Lin 5:58
Yeah, it’s funny that there are a lot of parts of this that resonate with us. And I’m sure what a lot of young people like is that across different countries, and I’m sure that is why you were targeted with this news article on Facebook as well. And I think that leads us into part of what we wanted to talk about was kind of like, speculation on our part about whether or not this movement is really that representative of what’s happening in China, or if it’s like, you know, outsiders reporting about some phenomenon that isn’t necessarily as big of a thing as it is because it kind of reminds them of things in our Western culture that we’re, you know, feeling ourselves. So, I think it’s a little bit of both. Like, I think one thing that’s kind of, like, difficult to know, unless you’re there in the country itself is the scope of something. So like, I read a lot of these articles. And it is funny, because it’s like, like you said, there are some Eastern outlets was a lot of like, New York Times, Washington Post, like NPR, like, how do they get their information, but the articles like they cite how big the movement is by talking about, like, oh, there’s this like, WeChat group that grew to like, hundreds of thousands of people and like, that sounds like a lot of people but China’s a frickin huge country

Jesse Lin 7:37
1 billion something.

Angela Lin 7:38
Yeah, it’s not actually that big of a movement and from like, a sheer numbers standpoint, but it doesn’t mean just an exist. So I feel like both are true. Like it exists, and people buy into it. But I think our Western media is probably like blowing this shit up. Because they’re like, hey, I relate, or make this sound like it’s a bigger thing.

Jesse Lin 8:00
I definitely agree with you. And although we could not get a guest, like I did reach out to one of my, one of my former roommates from college, and he runs like, online magazine in Taiwan, and I asked him like, hey, is this like, a legitimate thing? And he’s like, not really, like, you know, every few years, like stuff like this bubbles up, where they have articles about, like, what the youth of today are doing. And it’s like, interesting, and obviously, like, they talk to somebody and they did some research to like, to your point, like, part of it is true, but how prevalent it is, I think it’s less so. And I also feel like the reason why Western media likes to grapple onto that stuff like this is like, it’s very, I guess, like, very unexpected from the whole stereotype of like, Asians being like, communal, and like one mind, like one effort kind of situation to see something coming out of that. And being like, no, like, that’s not, that’s not what we want. Like, that’s not what we subscribe to. And in particularly China, which has this very, like monolithic follow the sure government propaganda situation, I think it’s unusual for maybe it’s like this idea that it’s so problematic that people are willing to expose themselves in the media to talk about this, like movement, stuff like that.

Angela Lin 9:16
Yeah, actually, that reminds me of a piece that I wanted to bring up, which is like, what else this is a reaction to, because the idea of like, not wanting to struggle anymore in life and kind of like, you know, enjoying life for what it is, is also in direct contrast to a couple of speeches, or probably just like the general themes that Xi Jinping often comes out with, which is like a couple of years ago, he really honed in on this the Chinese dream, the concept of the Chinese dream, and it’s like loosely defined but obviously is like paralleling the American dream, right. And he has like big ambitions for obviously making China like even even stronger of a world power than an already is. And in one of his famous speeches, he apparently called on largely the young people of China to like, continue struggling, because that’s the only way that we’re going to make China like the next, bring it to the next level. And I think he meant it to be right like inspirational and a, you know, I read a little bit about how it was kind of echoing back to Mao times right of like the heyday of Communist Party of like, everyone, quote, unquote, struggling for the greater good to bring like everybody up. So he was trying to call on that. But the irony is that, I guess with like, the 996 culture, the fact that it exists, and people hate it and are some people are committing suicide, like real, you know, consequences are coming from the extreme work culture that’s getting China forward. I think that’s a big part of what like, caused this movement to crop up as well as just like people are kind of like, but why do I need to struggle? Like, why do I need to buy in on this idea of like, everyone’s suffering to bring the quote unquote, you know, that nation forward?

Jesse Lin 11:18
Yeah. Why do I need to suffer?

Why does it seem like so many articles are interested in understanding what young people are doing? Like, what are millennials like? What are Gen Z? Like, I mean, you have this which is like younger people doing this, like lie flat thing. And I’ve always been really curious, because I’m like, who’s writing this shit? Like it doesn’t like, and then it’s always like, contradictory. So it’s like Millennials are ruining this industry, Millennials are like buying. So I just feel like that is telling of the kind of microscope that people of our age and younger are under from such an early age. And you know, you and I can remember a time when we were growing up where there weren’t phones, you hadn’t cameras everywhere, like you had some kind of like space to breathe from the pressures of society because it wasn’t so immediate, like you couldn’t just flip your phone and see a beautiful girl in a bikini on a beach, like anytime you wanted. And you certainly couldn’t get like 5 million of the same girl. Yeah, on Instagram, because there are now. And I feel like being in the internet age has made those pressures, so much more present in your life. And you feel like, I don’t need to do this thing that you’re telling me because I can see for myself I have there’s so many different things I could be doing. I could be an influencer, I could be a basketball player. I could be whatever, whatever, whatever. And so I think yeah, we are we’re I don’t think it’s that they’re they’re different is that we’re really different because of microscope that they see us under and that we put ourselves under.

Angela Lin 14:04
I agree with you. I think there’s a darker aspect of the social media side, though, like yes, it does open your eyes to all the possibilities that you have. But I think it’s actually one of the reasons something like the lie flat movement could even become a thing is with social media and the accessibility you have to see on a daily basis every hour every minute, like the successes of other people or the quote unquote, successes, right? Because people always only post the best things happening in their lives and not the worst things. It makes you feel like you’re constantly kind of behind or like losing and you’re in a competition with like everyone else on the internet. So then the lie flat movement is kind of like, well, I’m not going to ever win this competition so why should I even try? So I think that’s definitely like a reaction on the negative side for growing up in the, you know, technology age. And then the other piece is, it is funny because you talked about like, every everyone is obsessed with like the younger generation in the media. And I recently saw something. And I don’t know which publication was, but there was a graph that showed kind of like the trend in must have been like cross decades, but like recent 50 years, or whatever, the trend in the accumulation of wealth across the different generations. And basically like, as time goes on, the boomers are able like own everything, and us millennials and Gen Z own nothing like it’s like, like curve was like super up top of the graph or like what boomers own like proper – all the property right is like by them. And then like all of us are like down here owning nothing, just like renting in debt forever. And so I’m also just echoing all the millennial gripes forever. But it’s kind of like, how could we ever live up to the same kinds of like, dreams, aspirations, and even achievements of older generations sometimes, like things like property ownership, when our generations are kind of like, set up to fail in a lot of ways, you know?

Jesse Lin 16:15
Yeah, yeah, I definitely agree. And I think that can lead to why people want to bail out because they’re like, I don’t want to feed myself the lie every day that I’m going to make it to this like golden place. And like, what’s worse is not even a lie that everybody wants, like, not everybody wants to own a home. Not everybody wants to have a family. So I think these are like, huge pressures that we’re under. And it’s funny, because I feel like when people are like, what’s wrong with millennials? And what’s wrong with Gen Z, I’m like, this article is what’s wrong. There’s so much hype about us that it’s impossible. Like, even when you know, it’s not true, it’s impossible to escape it. Because then like, your grandmother might think it’s true. Your mom, might think it’s true, like other people in society that have weight, think it’s true. And that in itself can make things true sometimes. So I can definitely see why people just want to be like, byeee.

Angela Lin 17:07
Yeah, the way you’re talking about it, I have that song, that Mariah Carey song, why are you so obsessed with me?

Jesse Lin 17:16
It’s true, it’s true!

Angela Lin 17:18
It is, it’s kind of true. And I mean, not to just slam on an entire generation and older, but I’m kinda like, they’re talking about us all the time, because they have nothing else going on. Like, we’re the ones driving innovation and like things forward, right? Like, even all the grunt work that keeps the machine of America and every other country moving is the young people. It’s not like some boomers, like, you know, typing away all their fucking administrative stuff that’s keeping all these tech companies alive. So it’s like, they’re just observers, they get to be the observers, because they’ve like, lived their youth. So now they just get to complain about, like, the generation that’s keeping society afloat right now.

Jesse Lin 18:01
And, you know, like I said, it’s like, a we are different, like, millennials and younger, we’re different. And I think there are so much content on there because like genuinely I think older Americans don’t understand. Don’t they don’t understand the space that we live in. And I can say that pretty confidently because I don’t understand the space to Gen Z. Like, I don’t know, like, what think like, what internet, you know, like, Reddit, is internet for me, but like Gen Z person be like, what the fuck is Reddit? So like, it’s already like, very different. But the thing is that, like, I know that I don’t know enough about Gen Z to not say anything about it, because like, I don’t really know anyone Gen Z, I don’t really know what their habits are, like, what they like to do. And obviously, we can’t like generalize, but like, I don’t know enough of them to be like, oh, they’re genuinely like interested in these kind of things. But I don’t know if the older generations know enough not to make that assumption.

Angela Lin 18:56
I also obviously I don’t have like hordes of Gen Z friends or anything but I do. I feel like all the gens are like weirdly defined right? Like I remember millennial the year you were born kept shifting every year for what the definition of millennial was, but I have friends that I would argue are Gen Z, even if like sometimes the the year they were born, it’s like doesn’t make the cut cut off sometimes. I don’t know. I feel like young people get a bad rap a lot because of like growing up in the tech age and like social media, because there’s a lot of like, dark side to social media in a lot of ways but well, okay, I’m trying to connect those back to lie flat and like a totally opposite way, which is kind of like alright, if you reject the traditional idea of success, which is like joining a big company and like moving up the ladder and like just vying for the next promotion, right? Like if you reject that, you’re also opening yourself up to coming up with different ways to like live your life, and it could be the lie flat movement where you’re just like, I just want to earn enough money to like, live and be comfortable. Or you could come up with like totally new ways to start your own business. I think like the idea of starting your own business has changed a lot. Like, in the past, it sounded like a much bigger thing where it’s like, like, when my dad thinks about starting a business, he’s like, oh, you have to like buy a factory and like you there’s like capex, and you have to like borrow money and like all this shit. And I’m like, do you know how many like Etsy shops and like, Instagram built shops there are from Gen Z, that are just, they’re just like, artists on the side, right? Like, they’re just like, really talented people in like digital spaces, and they just for shits and giggles, open an Etsy shop to like, sell some stickers or whatever. And like, they’re making, you know, enough money to sustain a real life on that totally digitally native, like business. And I think that’s incredible. Like, it’s a weird thing for older generations, especially to grasp which is like, I don’t understand how do you have like a fully what do you mean, you don’t like own anything to like, make things that people buy, you know, but it’s true. And like, it makes me jealous. And like very impressed when I see a lot of these artists are like that. They’re all these people opening up like random, you know, fashion lines or whatever. But they’re like, 19 or, you know, like so young. And I’m like, wow, I don’t know what I was doing at 19, but I certainly wasn’t doing this for like, wow, there’s a lot of like, I think there’s a lot of entrepreneurial spirit in the Gen Z range of folks. And I’m, I love seeing, like totally untraditional way that they’re thinking about like, carrying themselves in society and making money in like untraditional ways.

Jesse Lin 21:48
I like what you said about how it leaves room for people to discover, like different ways to live their life, because I do feel like the things that were offered to us as like, important, there were only a few and they took up a lot of space, you know, like job, family, the house thing like retirement like those are like very few things. And I think the point I felt like from there was like you diversify your happiness. So you’re not all not all your eggs are in this giant basket about a house or giant basket about your work. But you have different areas where you want to spend time to nurture that happiness. And that’s okay, that’s totally cool. And honestly, as I’ve gotten older, that’s kind of like where I’ve been trying to move myself to like spend less of my energy trying to develop happiness in this one thing and try to find like different things that interest me that I can build happiness in.

Angela Lin 22:41
Do you feel like our parents raised us to think those things would bring us happiness, though, because the big buckets you mentioned, like work, family, house, those kinds of things. I don’t think they ever presented those things to me as like that will bring you happiness, I think they were just like, you need these things to be stable. Like I think it was largely stability driven.

Jesse Lin 23:04
I think they do help build some kind of baseline happiness. I mean, if you’re like dirt poor, like, I’m sure some people can be happy. Like, if you’re a very like, free willed, nature hippie person that just likes being out in, you know, camping and shit like that, like, you might be happy. But like most people need some baseline amounts of comfort in order to sustain some level of happiness. And so I always equated it, and maybe it’s different for you, I always equated to some level of happiness, because they would always be, I don’t know, I just saw like, they would be concerned about like, I took what they were showing me in terms of their worry about like money and like position in society and like education, all that an inverted basically with the expectation. So I was like, if you’re worried about these things, then the opposite of those things must bring you happiness, because it removes the worry, in a sense. So that was kind of my my feeling about those things.

Angela Lin 23:57
Yeah, I can see that. For me. I see it slightly differently. I think that it’s connected though. But Maslow – is that the pyramid of whatever the like needs that you like..?

Jesse Lin 24:09
Maslow, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs?

Angela Lin 24:11
Yes. And the bottom is like the necessities right, like the things that keep you alive and like not in poverty, essentially. I think the distinction with our parents generation, especially as immigrants coming from poor backgrounds versus like us living in you know, pretty well off and like at the tech age, like not worried about the same things. We’re kind of like moving up in the pyramid hierarchy of like needs here where like, our parents were obsessed with the things that the bottom of that pyramid because it’s like, I didn’t always have food growing up. I didn’t always have like, stable house or a nice house or like those kinds of things. And so the those are like the most important in their heads, because they’re like, if you don’t have those things, like, that’s the only thing you you’re going to be able to like, think about. So they’re so focused on that, that they haven’t focused ever on kind of like, what does it mean to be happy?

Jesse Lin 25:15
Self actualization.

Angela Lin 25:16
Yeah. And I think our generation is obsessed with that, right? Our generation and Gen Z, the idea of like, yeah, like finding happiness, self worth, and like, yeah, and these are things that are just kind of like foreign for our parents, I think. And I also think, talking back to our original topic, the lie flat movement, right? It’s like, I could see this being kind of like, really difficult for the older generation, like, Xi Jinping’s generation to understand why young people are trying to like, do this complete rejection of the way China’s always run. Because it’s our generation and younger, that’s thinking about things like mental health, and like self worth, and like finding things that make you happy outside of a career. And those aren’t things that the older generations ever have to think about, especially in in the Motherland, or it’s like, always been kind of that way of like you derive happiness from success and success comes from career, you know?

Jesse Lin 26:18
Yeah, yeah, I think it does make sense. Like, you know, people of Xi Jinping’s age, they might be like, why are you guys thinking about like, we have a very stable environment, like, obviously, China has transformed tremendously in the last, you know, 50 years. But I think it’s the thing is that self actualization is inherently an individualistic pursuit. So it’s gonna be in, you know, a little bit butting heads always with the idea of like group success, and like, where China’s going next. And like, we want to support that. And it’s hard to do that when you can’t support yourself. And oh, my God, boom, boom, boom, light bulb alert. Wait, no, this might be too much of a stretch. But it was Confucius that said, you had to fix yourself, and then your family, and then you, your city, and then your country. So this movement…

Angela Lin 27:06
Ohh he did say something like that.

Jesse Lin 27:08
Right? Right?

Angela Lin 27:10
So the father of the lie flat movement…

Jesse Lin 27:13
That’s right, is Confucius!

Angela Lin 27:15
You heard it here first.

Jesse Lin 27:16
Self actualization. Deep analysis for you folks!

Angela Lin 27:23
Okay, well, on that note, I think we kind of land slided into what was supposed to be our fortune cookie. Maybe we kind of like ride that tailwind and go into like what we each feel like is our definition of a happy or successful life.

Jesse Lin 28:23
Wow, what did very deep and difficult to answer.

Angela Lin 28:26
And that we didn’t prepare for either, yeah, I know.

Jesse Lin 28:32
Huh? Well, you know, I really liked after talking to Sandeepa about how she described this like place of equilibrium, where happy things make you, you know huh, you enjoy them. But you come back to the state and negative things also are kind of just, you know, another wave in the ocean. And I think for me, happiness is getting to that place to try to achieve that equilibrium. Because each of those things are like highs just on like opposites, right, like, so you’re good things are good, high, negative, things are bad high. And you want to like buffer yourself from those things, because they can really drag you like in the opposite way, unexpectedly. So good things can actually bring you down, like you might, you know, get promoted, or you might have a good thing. And then if you place too much value in that, you might start to think, hey, is this like a really hollow pursuit? Like is this really all I have? And so for me, my experience with my own emotions and like managing my own stress, like I found this whole idea of equilibrium, to be very much where the happiness lies where you can feel so where you can like bring yourself back to a place of evenness so that you aren’t being constantly pulled around by the waves of your life.

Angela Lin 29:50
No I like that I think I also am searching for equilibrium for from a different sense. My therapist actually gave me this homework a long time ago and it’s like on my to do list that I’ve given partial thought to. She was like in your life, how would you define your personal metrics of success? I’m like, What? That seems really hard. But I was thinking about it further but I still have to refine it. But the idea of equilibrium resonates with me but from like a different angle. So when I was thinking about what, what kind of personal metrics of success would I have, it’s kind of like, how about I balance my life in terms of the things that are important to me. So I think for me, happiness is being able to give attention to each of the areas of my life that are important to me. So definitely my relationship. Relationships, I guess so like with Ramon, family, friends, but also physical well being. I think a lot of times I like run myself ragged, especially with work, not eating well, or not working out, or just being outside kind of like not prioritizing those things, not prioritizing my mental well being with just like disconnecting sometimes, or at best doing things like yoga or meditating or things like that. And then from like, a work standpoint, because I’m trying to kind of redefine what I think of as work. I think it’s more just like, making sure I’m carving out time working on things that actually bring me feelings of like, what I’m doing matters. Yeah, it was worth it makes a difference. It is meaningful in some way. Because I think a lot of times what makes me upset with the idea of work is when I spend a lot of time doing things that like ultimately don’t really matter. So anyways, for me, I think the equilibrium I’m seeking is like always depositing a little bit of like investment in each of those areas that are important in my life. So I’m not totally neglecting any of them. Because I think when I’m when I’m out of whack is because I’m like totally neglecting one or more of those aspects.

Jesse Lin 32:18
That totally makes sense. Yeah, I guess we’re at the end of the episode, listeners, if you have any feedback, if you want to tell us your own experience with the lie flat movement, if you do or you just want to let us know your own rebellion or not rebellion against the current dream of America, please write us in at telluswhereyourefrom@gmail.com, the you’re is Y-O-U-R-E. And if you do have a story, we’re more than happy to feature it in one of our upcoming listener submitted story episodes.

Angela Lin 32:48
And especially if you are based in the motherland any Motherland of any sort. And you are you have more first hand knowledge especially about this movement or something similar. We definitely are interested in that because we are coming from this more from a Western perspective. So do write us it and because we are interested, and come back next week because it will be our final episode of this season.

Categories
Uncategorized

What’s It Like to Become a Minority?


Angela Lin 0:20
Today we have a special guest with us Cherrie from With Chinese Characteristics, another awesome API podcast. Welcome, Cherrie.

Jesse Lin 0:30
Welcome.

Cherrie 0:30
Hi. Thank you for having me.


Full Transcript (Note: Transcribed via AI, may contain errors)


Angela Lin 0:32
Thanks for joining us. We’re really excited to have Cherrie on one because we love to do these crossover collabs with other cool Asian podcasts. And also because Cherrie’s podcast is super different from ours. Like, let’s just say she and her partner are way more educated than we are and do more homework than we do their podcast is, well, actually Cherrie, why don’t you give a little summary of your podcast, you’re probably better at speaking to what it’s about.

Cherrie 1:04
That’s very kind of you to say that first. We are, well, this is a podcast about Asian American or Chinese and or Chinese history, culture, politics. And me and my partner, Natalie we’re not historians, we’re just history lovers, I like to say, and we have a special interest in you know, anything that has Chinese characteristics, no pun intended. So we try to look for topics that we are interested in. And again, being non historians, we want to, you know, see how like an everyday person who’s not a doesn’t have a PhD in history, or or Chinese American Studies would interpret and dissect and these issues, and that’s where we try to come in and try to tell the story in a more in the way that we ourselves would be able to understand it and connect to as well. So yeah, so. So that’s our podcast.

Angela Lin 1:59
Awesome. Yeah, it’s really cool. Because, I mean, there definitely so many different kinds of podcasts out there, but especially compared to the way Jesse and I talk about things and we like quote, unquote, research. So we’re not as hardcore. So it’s cool to have like the balance between different podcasts providing, you know, different lenses into stuff. But anyways, make sure to check them out. But the reason we have Cherrie on today is we have a fun topic that we wanted to discuss. We’re always trying to find kind of the different perspectives of Asian American life and upbringing and how we see the world differently. And one of the main ways that we can see the world differently is what based on where we were born, and kind of where our formative years were spent. And so we wanted to compare and contrast, the Asian American experience between those of us that were born and raised in the US, but have deep family ties back in the Motherland, versus those who were born and raised in the Motherland, but came over here, as you know, young adults, and now live here, because we’re all Asian Americans. But I would gander to think that the way we grew up, had a big impact on kind of the way that we see things as grown grown ups now. So that’s, that’s what we wanted to cover with Cherrie. But before we go into too deep on stuff, we can’t gip you and leave you out of our standard guest questions. So we did want to ask you, how would you answer but where are you really from?

Cherrie 3:46
Well, good question. Because I’ve been asked that before, and I love to give you the answer where I don’t have to, you know, pretend or have my guard up because sometimes depends on who’s asking. There might be assumptions that are, you know, associated with it. So I am, I was born in China. And I lived in China for 18 years. And I came here for came to America for college. And I have stayed here for a good decade. And I don’t plan to leave anytime soon in the future. So and I really appreciate you saying, you know, we’re all Asian Americans, because that’s exactly how I feel. And I have a lot of, you know, born in America, Asian American friends. And there are experiences of mine that maybe sometimes overlap with theirs, and sometimes it’s very different. So I would love to talk about it with you.

Angela Lin 4:41
Well, thank you for that. And I love to dig in even already based on what you said, because I feel like based on what you just said, there is some maybe you’ve had some experiences where people are not seeing you as Asian American. Is that a fair assumption?

Cherrie 4:56
Yeah, yeah, for sure. And I think It’s in a way. So I mean, obviously, like, I don’t speak, maybe you think I do, because my partner thinks that I do. But like, I feel like I don’t speak like, quote unquote, American English as someone who has English as their first language. And obviously, Chinese is my first language. So people might have the expectation that I’m like an expat, which I was for, you know, for a long time, until I’ve decided that I do want to stay here, and I’m going to put down some roots. And but sometimes it really depends on the way it’s asked. And, you know, who’s asking, and under what circumstances? And and yes, I don’t know if that that answers the question. But it’s a complicated thing to be asking anyone. I feel like and there’s, you know, sometimes there’s a straightforward answer. And most of the time, there’s just not, because, yeah.

Jesse Lin 5:54
Well to your point of saying, like, you’re, you’ve decided to put down roots here. Do you personally feel like you you identify with the label as Asian American? Because, you know, there’s a lot of different groups that exist here and a lot of different identities that overlap. And I think it’s, we don’t want to assume that you are identifying as an Asian American.

Cherrie 6:18
Yeah, no, thanks for that. I do. So that, okay, so don’t worry about it. But I did. I feel like it’s in many ways, to me, it’s a legal term. Because as someone who I would like to say maybe like, I’m privileged in a way compared to those who were born here, because obviously, you know, people can’t choose where they were born. And but you could choose sometimes where you move to and where you know, where you want to go in your life. So I feel like by making that legal decision, in a way gives me a, it gives the power back to me, if that makes sense. And so I am able to say that and if anyone, or like people who might have another idea of what American means, or Asian American means, which I really haven’t had that in the Asian American community at all because everyone I’ve met and because like, most of my friends from college are actually Asian Americans, rather than for the Asians, I guess, rather than the overseas, expats and I really just felt embracement for you know, most of it. So, yeah.

Jesse Lin 7:40
So great to hear. Yeah.

Angela Lin 8:44
Great, well, I’m sure there might be more to dig into with that once we get into some of the other topics, but maybe we pivot straight in. So jumping right into the deep stuff, I feel like one of the main things we wanted to discuss is, obviously on this podcast, especially we kind of talk a lot about our own, reconciling our own identity issues growing up. And one of the main reasons we have identity issues is that as Asians in America we’re a minority, or one of many minorities here, right. And so there’s this contentious feeling for us where we like, now that we’re adults, we embrace more of our Asian culture and you know, our, our parents, Motherland and all that comes with that. But growing up, we all just want to be white, right, because that’s the majority. That’s the kind of standard and that’s what’s considered normal. So I think one thing we wanted to talk about is what it’s like to be the majority versus the minority. Because I mean, we always look at things here from a Western lens, but if you grew up in China or any Asian Motherland Most likely you are the majority because that is that more other countries are more homogenous than the US. So I’d love to hear a little bit more about like, if you ever thought about race in that respect when you were in China, and then how that transition when you came to the US and had to flip flop between, like majority to minority?

Cherrie 10:27
Yeah, um, honestly, I have not thought about race before I came to America at all, because I feel like well A) I was very young. And in China is sort of like, I lived, I lived the typical life of like a city. Like, I sort of living a bubble, I like to say, and my parents are very one of the typical, you know, Chinese parents where like, school is everything. Don’t worry about anything else getting good, good college. And that’s all you need to worry about until you get to college. And so I feel like I was sheltered in a way. And then I came to America. And I realized that it was, in many ways a privilege, not having to think about race, as this thing that like to not, I guess, not having the, the feeling that I am a minority growing up. And I feel like that was compared to, you know, in the maybe the typical Asian American experience growing up in America, I feel pretty lucky in that sense. I don’t know if that’s okay to say. Because if you grew up as a minority, you don’t have to worry about you don’t represent anyone but yourself. And, you know, because other people of other races or like, you know, maybe white people will see you and say, Oh, that’s so Asian over you. And you feel like you might somehow represent the whole race, which is obviously not true. And I just never had to go through that back in China. I feel like I did have to go through that once I moved here, in a way. Yeah. And I remember watching, because this question, like, I talked about my friends a lot as well. Because I think Ronnie Chieng, I think it was Ronnie Chieng, who had like, you know, a special and he was like, I don’t know how to live like a minority, because I was, you know, where I came from. We’re all Asians. And I was like, that’s exactly how I feel. And yeah, so I feel like it was lucky to not have that chip on my shoulder or like not to have society put that chip on my shoulder, and force me to live it. And I was thinking about, you know, since like, what time did that change happen? What time did I actually feel like, okay, my identity has shifted, because I feel like being minority is, in many ways, like, the straight definition is sort of black and white, right? It’s a numbers thing. Like, if you have less of you in the population of whatever group you are, whether it be you know, you’re Asian, or you’re, I don’t know, college educated or whatever, you could be a minority, but feeling like minority is a completely different thing. And because, like, you know, the 1%, I guess, the 1% is a minority, and I don’t feel like their feeling of being minorities, the same as maybe sometimes Asian Americans feel as a minority, especially in the past, you know, one or two years in America. And I remember there was an incident in 2020, before, right before the election, I was at a bagel shop in California, and which is a very, I consider a pretty diverse place. You know, I’m where I live at. And at the bagel shop, I got yelled at by a white person, a white man that they don’t want to sit next to a Chinese or Japanese person, to which I was like, okay, and then he was like, you know, you need to stay away from me. And I’m voting for Trump. And I was like, excuse me. And then so that was really the first time I actually really felt like, oh, okay, so like, you know, there are people who think of me as this minority. And I feel like I’m a minority that I need to be looking out for myself or over my shoulders. But that incident, actually, you know, when that had happened immediately, everyone else in the bagel shop. I know, it’s not like the bagel shop is such like a non political place. But it did have another bagel shop, like a like when I was going to get breakfast, but everyone else at the bagel shop sort of came to my aid. And they’re like, Oh, that’s not okay. You need to like, are you talking about? And then the manager of the bagel shop, kick the man out there. He’s like, oh, you need to like, just leave, which I felt like, right? And I feel like okay, so like, maybe there is it’s not all bad. But it is a reality that people get told that and, you know, what happened to me was only verbal and it wasn’t even that, you know, it was not like violent. And so there’s a lot worse could happen and has happened to other people who are minorities, so, so yeah.

Jesse Lin 14:49
Well, first of all, I just want to say it hasn’t been a thing. But recently I feel like whenever someone starts a story with I was at a bagel shop. It gets really crazy. Like New York Post is like bagel shop, bagel shop, bagel shop, shop incidents. It’s very strange. I just wanna I just want to note that. Yeah, I’m, you know, I’m curious because we have a lot of different ethnic groups here. And they look very different. And I feel like that very much highlights this minority or difference between you and me. In China, I feel like there are also different ethnic groups. So you have like Tibetan folks like traditional Han Chinese, you have Mongolian folks. How do I mean, of course, I don’t know exactly your ethnic background, but like, do you have an idea of how each of these different ethnicities thinks of themselves? Do they think of themselves distinctly or they’re like, I’m Chinese?

Cherrie 15:45
Yeah, well, I’m Han Chinese. So another privilege that I do have, which is, you know, in a monoculture in China, which Han culture is definitely dominant. There are, I believe, 90% of the population or about 90% of the population is Han Chinese. And Han Chinese culture is what most people might have heard of, or think of when they think of Chinese culture, for better or for worse, you know, Confucius, you know, I don’t know, Dragon, Chinese New Year, and all that. I mean, other races do celebrate Chinese New Year as well. But it is the mainstream, like, quote, unquote, mainstream version of Chinese culture. And I think on paper, we at least have 56 ethnic groups in China, which is a lot. And when I was growing up, the obviously the, the line we all have to learn in elementary school is that China’s big garden, and we are 56 flowers, all thriving in the same garden. And we all get along great, which is not the reality. But um, but yeah, Han Chinese is the dominant race, or majority of race China. And so the other groups I’ve had, I have, you know, I guess, friends growing up that might be of other minority, you know, my minority ethnics. And I mean, thinking of self might as Chinese, I don’t know if I can answer that for them, given that China as a society is going in a certain direction of trying to, I guess, like here, you will say, we’re whitewashing things, you know, in China, we’re trying to Han-wash things. I don’t even know that that’s a thing. But the diversity is not celebrated. Not really, it might be in the propaganda. But the way I see it, I don’t think it’s celebrated. And in many ways, the, you know, the government is trying to erase the unique cultures that are not currently dominant, which is Han culture. So, so that’s yeah, I don’t know if I can answer that. But I, maybe that put it into perspective, a little bit.

Angela Lin 17:52
Actually, you brought up something that we meant to ask about when in the majority versus minority thing brought up class being something that stood out to you. But actually, we wanted to talk about that, from like, your perspective, when you were in China. Because seems like the government tries to suppress focus on like, the racial or ethnic differences between the population, and the majority of folks are Han Chinese. So we were postulating that then the main focus of like, what people are kind of segregating each other around is more socioeconomic. Is that a fair assumption? That that’s more the focus?

Cherrie 18:33
I would agree. Yeah, I think so. Socioeconomic status, and also rural and urban versus urban divide. That’s huge. And like, the Chinese cities that where I came from, are you know, like, it’s they’re all very glamorous, it’s all skyscrapers, new subways, and like, there’s always construction happening. And you know, everyone has the talking points, well, you go to China, and like five years or five years later, you go again, it’s, it’s all different. It’s just moving so fast. And I feel like, like, in a way it was coming to America had put that into perspective of like, the development, the fast development, economic development of like the first class, you know, Chinese cities, is built on the lower class, the backs of lower class people, right, like, migrant laborers and people low income and like gig workers, especially.

Angela Lin 19:25
Okay, so we talked about, obviously, there are shocks and weird experiences that come with becoming a minority as opposed to majorities so that’s part of it. But I imagine there were other just like cultural shocks that came with moving here. I’m curious what were some of those like bigger, biggest ones for you? That when you came to the US and started settling here, I don’t know. I’m just now I’m feeding you stuff on like dating or like the food or like, I don’t know if like, what were the biggest things that stood out to you?

Cherrie 19:58
Um, think this might not be a deep one, but it was it was real really real because I came to I landed in California, right? And I lived in a Chinese, like, what we call like middle tier city. And but like basically a metropolitan area, sort of in a bubble. And I’m never, not that’s not to say China’s all metropolitan, right, because obviously it’s not. And large parts of China’s definitely not. And it’s rural. And it’s very different. But I sort of lived in a bubble. And I landed in California. And I was like, is this a poor country? I was like, this seems like a poor country, because there’s no there are no skyscrapers besides a very small part of it. I’m just really ridiculous. But like, I was like, there’s no skyscrapers, every like building is like two storeys tall. And like, there are no subway and you know, LA has subway and I’ve been to the east coast and New York subway is just, it’s really old. And I couldn’t wrap my head around being an 18 year old, like, shiny skyscrapers doesn’t just mean like, actual economic status. Like, overall, if that makes sense. But also what I thought America is, like, should look like, like, you know, like in Friends, like when I watched it growing up, and But America, just like China is a huge place. And like New York subway being old, it’s not because New York is poorer than China is just because they built it 100 years ago. And if we have built our subway 10 years ago, of course, it’s gonna be newer and shinier. So yeah, so that’s, I know that I sound like a really silly teenager. Now, thinking back. Yeah. And then I was like, I mean, I do, I haven’t gotten college yet. I like, never taken one economic class, like a real one in my life. And I was just, I couldn’t understand it. And then I went to college. And sort of, like, get a better understanding of like how society works. That sounds so embarrassing. But yeah, I feel like that was, that was the first thing I could think of. And then also, I feel like the diversity not to like, put talking points of like, America is great. But like, the diversity that you do get to experience and see here, I feel like, especially on a college campus, like most college campuses, are is is very different from what you would experience in China. Obviously, everyone will be Chinese. And but here is feels like, not just like the university I went to is a public university. And not just like racial diversity, because, you know, I got to meet all people, different races, and then even like, class diversity, because I met like people, like whose parents are like illegal immigrants. And I met people who are like, who don’t have status themselves and then become DACA. Right. And I feel like that was really eye opening, in a way. Because these people because there was an intimidation of me, I was like oh, maybe they weren’t like me, cuz I’m like a Chinese international students, and there’s like stereotypes, but like, and then once we got to, like, sort of know each other, through like, I don’t know, class projects, clubs and all that, and you really sort of get an idea. Okay, so like, this could be what America means. But yeah, but I would say diversity is another cultural shock.

Angela Lin 23:19
Okay, something that we have talked about in the past, and I had my dad on our podcast, as our first guest way back in season one. And we’re talking about the idea of heritage, and the kind of like the importance of preserving the culture and heritage of our Chinese, Taiwanese, you know, families and history. And carrying that on into the future, and I think what we wanted to discuss was how important that is, to someone who grew up, in grew up and was raised in the Motherland, and because our, our guess is that, like, it’s not thought of as this like, sacred thing. It’s just, it’s just what you were like, it’s just what you did. And it’s just like that those were just the traditions and you just do those things. It’s just part of life. For just like for us, I think, because especially in our youth, we were very like rejecting of our culture, and we’re trying to, like re find it, reclaim it for ourselves. Now, the thought of like, the idea of heritage and like preserving this thing feels kind of like sacred and like another, you know, special little thing to us. Versus like my dad’s perspective, he was like, who cares? Life’s changing, like, preserve what you want. But like if, for example, he was like, Chinese New Year, like used to be a huge thing or like you You really observed the like, two to three week vacation thing, like people would fly home, you know, to the motherland and like, really spend that time with families and now it’s like, you have jobs like harder to get back. It’s not as observed as before any he’s like, it’s fine. Like, that’s who cares? You know? So I’m curious what your perspective is on just like the idea of heritage and preserving it and and passing it down, knowing that it was not as emphasized as like a special separate thing for you growing up.

Cherrie 25:21
Yeah, I mean, that goes back to like me not having the pressure of proving myself as Chinese. Because like, I literally am like, what are you going to? Especially if I come from a Chinese society? No one can tell me that, right? Like, made in China, like literally, so but I feel like, well, I had, I guess this goes back to cultural shocks. But first, like, I, my Asian American friends, often it’s an interesting thing, because I feel like they’re more, quote unquote, Chinese than I am. Meaning that like they, their parents teach them more like traditional culture stuff, and they make them go to Chinese school and learn the history. Versus to me, I didn’t have to learn the history because it was a communist country, and like, you know, and then for 30 years, and no one likes to talk about history, because not really allowed to, especially recent history, you can’t talk about it. And like Cultural Revolution was really literally about like, my parents generation grew up in the Cultural Revolution, right. So like, for them, it was literally about, like, breaking everything old, and like, like, traditional culture is bad. So. So it’s a complicated thing. And then I feel like for immigrant, which I’m feeling this myself being an immigrant now, that the point that where you move to a country, or like where you were born in a country, but like you came from a different culture from two, one or two generations back, that becomes a snapshot like that culture, that version of the culture at the time becomes snapshot, what your family tries to hold on, which is a beautiful thing, because you know, like, immigrant families got to stick together, like, and it’s a it’s a new place, and you’re a minority, but that tradition in a way, sort of just not frozen, but it’s preserved within the family. And it goes on, but like, the other culture, like, in the motherland then takes a form of its own, and like, develops its own path as well. And in China, like when I was growing up, nowadays, there’s a lot of nationalism that goes on. And it’s sort of like the state is China, like, we have ownership of Chinese culture, which I do not believe at all. And I feel like it’s a great thing, because culture is fluid. Right? And our heritage comes from that. And our heritage is, by that definition, also food and having multiple versions of it is a beautiful thing. Yeah, so I can’t tell you that you’re not Chinese, just because I came from a different slightly different maybe version of Chinese culture, right? Yeah.

Jesse Lin 27:53
That was an amazing explanation.

Angela Lin 28:16
Yeah, yeah. Literally!

Jesse Lin 28:29
Yeah, I think we can transition to our close the Fortune Cookie because we always like to end on a sweet treat. Probably either of you can answer me this question. Do they have fortune cookies in China? No?

Cherrie 28:45
Don’t let anyone tell you.

Angela Lin 28:48
Those started in San Francisco.

Jesse Lin 28:50
No, I know. But sometimes sometimes stuff like that. Like weirdly goes back.

Angela Lin 28:54
Ports over?

Cherrie 28:56
I do remember Panda Express was going back? I don’t know if it’s a thing. I don’t know if it became a thing. I never I don’t know if it became popular. I know Shake Shack is in China and it’s super popular.

Angela Lin 29:12
But that’s white people food?

Cherrie 29:13
That’s right. Yeah, but fortune cookie, I’ll say. Yeah. wholeheartedly American. Asian American.

Jesse Lin 29:22
Yeah. Well, that wasn’t the question. But I was just saying fortune cookie. The question is, what did you think of Asian Americans before you came over here to America? Like what’s the general perception of what Asian Americans are like when you’re growing up and living in the motherland.

Cherrie 29:41
It um, and it’s a shame to say this, it’s the model minority. The only Asian Americans me and my, like bubble knows are like the new immigrants that goes to Silicon Valley. Like that’s the group of new like immigrants from Mainland China or like other places in Asia, right? They have high paying jobs, they came to America for a Master’s or PhD degree. And like they came back and like, I remember when I was like, I have an aunt who immigrated to America like 30 years ago, and she comes back, she will bring like these fancy, it was like 90s, China, she will bring back these fancy like, like, stationery items like bookmarks, and we couldn’t buy them in China. Back then I was oh my god, this is great. Like, this is like the first country. And then I feel like that was but that was obviously a stereotype. And it was a small group of what makes up the Asian American population in America. And I came here and like, in college, people I meet are like second generation and their parents might came over as refugees, right, their parents might came over for whatever other reason, they came over for job and it’s, you know, the makeup of like, the people I know now, even being American, not for my whole life, but just for a decade is like, I feel like every class of people, you know, and it’s very diverse. So I feel like there was another cultural shock that I didn’t answer.

Angela Lin 31:09
What about because we’re selfish, and I think the reason we wrote this question was being like, egotistical towards ourselves, we’re like, What is your opinion of? What was your opinion of ABCs in particular? We’re like that kind of Asian American because I think we grew up feeling like our families in Taiwan had a certain perspective of us as ABCs. And I’m curious if that was a made up, you know, POV that we work with, or if you actually see ABC is, like, a certain way in the motherland.

Cherrie 31:46
Yeah, I, I don’t know cuz I okay. So the aunt that did immigrant to America, one time, she has a child. And I remember, like, they used to call him like, bananas as he like, he’s yellow on the outside and white in the middle. Now, I feel like it’s kind of offensive, because it’s like, you’re asking this child who grew up in America, right? Like, did not grow up in China, by the choice of his parents like to prove himself somehow to these people in the motherland. And I, you know, and then I came to America, myself, and I’ve been here a while that I sometimes have disagreements with like my parents or like my other relatives, and they will be like, oh, you’re so American now? And I’m like, you know, it’s not why do we like, why do we have to prove ourselves? You know? Yeah. So I feel like that’s an expectation that Angela, you should not try to live by? Because it’s nonsense.

Angela Lin 32:42
Thank you for validating us!

Jesse Lin 32:46
An episode and a life lesson all wrapped in one.

Angela Lin 32:49
Truly. Okay. Well, thank you for that validation. I feel better now. That That makes me feel positively leading into our closing closing off. So this was great. Thank you so much for joining us and providing your perspective. I think we learned a lot from from you seriously!

Cherrie 33:09
No, same here.

Angela Lin 33:10
Why don’t you tell our listeners where they can find With Chinese Characteristics. And if there’s anything like a new project, or anything that you want to plug, feel free to drop that here as well.

Cherrie 33:21
Yeah. Well, our podcast is called With Chinese Characteristics. And it’s on all major podcast platforms. And we do have a website where you can look up, you know, past episodes, and we sometimes post like found blog articles of like book reviews, movie Reviews, it’s withchinesecharacteristics.com. And we’re also on Instagram and Twitter. So feel free to follow us there. And, you know, talk to us about history and Asian American politics.

Angela Lin 33:50
Great. Well, if you listeners have enjoyed this episode, and the topics that we covered, or if you have a different perspective on the Asian American, grow up here versus grow up in motherland perspectives that we’ve provided, write us in about your own experience or feedback or questions that you may have for Cherrie at Telluswhereyourefrom@gmail.com that you’re is Y-O-U-R-E. And of course, come back next week because we’ll have a fresh new episode for us then.

Categories
Uncategorized

What Does It Mean to be Saving Face


Angela Lin 0:20
Today we’re talking about an age old Asian thing, which is, I don’t know how to – pillar of Asian identity, like I don’t really know how best to describe it. But basically the concept of saving face. I feel like this is something that’s very foundational to certainly like Chinese Taiwanese culture, but I do think there is trickling down, or like influence on the other Asian cultures as well. To be fair, like, of course, as always, we don’t know jack shit, but I’m just postulating that because the Chinese Empire was so huge, and so long lasting forever. And we know that China had a big influence on all the other Asian countries just by the fact that like, a lot of them still use Chinese characters in their language. I’m just postulating that something like saving face maybe maybe originated in China, or like in Chinese culture, and like kind of became more pervasive. So maybe that’s why it’s, you know, I think it’s across all the Asian cultures, not just Chinese. But we wanted to discuss it today in terms of like, what it means to us the impact that it’s had on us the difficulty with kind of explaining it or reconciling with it within a Western context, and where we think it’s places kind of in our lives in our, in our future, like family’s lives, if at all. So Jesse, what, how would you define saving, the concept of saving face?


Full Transcript (Note: Transcribed via AI, may contain errors)


Jesse Lin 2:13
So first of all, I want to agree with you that I think it is across multiple Asian ethnicities across the whole entire Asian diaspora. And I think what you’re saying is actually pretty correct. I personally feel like the whole idea of Confucianism as a religion, it did spread pretty far. And within that there are a lot of those tenants of like, respect for your parents, and like respect for your family and like upholding the family virtue. And that, obviously spread past China to other countries. So I can definitely see like, where that kind of takes root. What does saving face mean, to me, I mean, it’s such a difficult thing to explain. Because you know, where you start is usually telling people, it’s this kind of, like embarrassment that you don’t want to accrue on behalf of your family. It’s not even like personal embarrassment, because like, it might be something where you personally don’t care at all, like how it reflects on you. But rather, it’s like something that will reflect badly on your pants, for example, I’m gay, I don’t care. I like being gay. But in the traditional sense of saving face, it would be something that I would be embarrassed about, on behalf of my family, because it’s a status that leaves me unable to fulfill some of the duties that being an only single male child, I should be able to fulfill like procreating and having a family and all that stuff. So that kind of leaves like what how else is it defined? It’s honestly it’s, it’s hard to say because it’s kind of enforced by your parents and your environment. So it’s kind of like when you’re a kid and you learn like not to touch hot things not to touch sharp things. You kind of get all those cues from people in your in your family and your environment with like, Oh, no, that’s bad. Or this is embarrassing. Like, how could you do this to me? And eventually you build this kind of idea of like, we don’t want to do these particular things because it could look bad about you know, on the family, but it is pretty difficult to define like clear black and white lines, at least for me.

Angela Lin 4:26
Yeah, I totally agree with you. I feel like it is so much like the learned definition through no no’s and things you’ve been shunned for in life for how you really understand it because it is difficult to explain it with no, I think no singular at least like English word can define what it really means. But I do like some of the terminology you used, I think, the idea of like how things reflect on your family almost like it’s a mirror, right? Like any action you do is like a mirror into your family and like, so you need to constantly kind of like watch what you’re doing to see what the impact of that action would be on your family in terms of if it will make them look good or look bad. And for me, I do think embarrassment is in there. But for me, I think it’s even stronger. It’s more shame. Like you’re trying to avoid bringing shame to your family, and that I didn’t even tie the Confucianism with it. But you make such a good point that it I’m sure it’s rooted in Confucianism, because the idea behind like, bringing honor to your family is your kind of like, highest thing you’re trying to strive for as like an Asian person in general just like you always want to bring honor to your family, your situation, yourself. And what’s the opposite of honor? It’s like shame, disgrace, like being outcast. So it’s like anything you’re doing that leans more into those negative words is not saving face. It’s like losing face, right. And I actually it’s really funny, I think we talked about this, but I, I like how like visual the words are in Chinese. Because in English, we say saving face, which is like you’re trying to protect it. But in Chinese you talk about like, Dui Lian, which is like to throw the face like you’re you’re like casting away the honor. Right? So like, it’s, it’s more spoken about in the negative term. It’s not like you’re trying to like save this thing and like protect this thing. It’s like, you’re literally choosing to like throw it on the ground, my honor. And like all this dignity. So you’re always trying to like avoid being dui lian. So and it’s always like visual in my head of like, oh, wow, like throwing something on the ground that you’re trampling on or something?

Jesse Lin 7:06
Well, I will add to the list of emotions that you throw out there, I think disappointment is also a huge one. And for me, I’ve always struggled a little bit with this, because disappointment to me is, it sounds kind of weird, but it’s a little bit more of a Western emotion, there’s more emotion to it, there’s more like negativity, there’s more personal investment in it. And I definitely feel like some of the other things where you just have like disapproval or like, disgrace. I don’t know, those are like, to me, it feels kind of like very black and white. But the disappointment is always the thing that was what I was chasing, and what I think did fuck me up for a little bit trying to find a way to be myself, but not generate disappointment for my parents. And of course, we’re talking about how the idea of saving face or dui lian is like, it’s changing because you you get reinforced on what it is based off of other people’s reactions. It’s always like, uncertainty as to like which things will be received well, which things won’t be received?

Angela Lin 8:15
Mmm, interesting. Well, I think a lot of what we’ve said, maybe we need to dig into a little bit more, which is that we keep talking about like, you know, the the changing idea of it that you’re like whether something’s approved, or disapproved is based on what others think. And I do think that it is a really integral part of the idea of saving face is that you’re not in control of any of it. Like it’s all dependent on how other people outside of you, outside of your family even are going to perceive the thing that you’ve done. And I I think that’s why the idea of saving face is so Asian is that like, we we’ve talked about this a lot. But Asian culture is so much more community oriented than American culture, for example, where it’s very individualistic, so like, America is literally about like DGAF, right, like, I don’t give a fuck because you’re just focused on you. You’re like, you don’t you don’t like me, like, I literally don’t care. You know, I mean, like, I that’s the energy that America gives off because it’s like, I’m gonna be me. I’m gonna do me, right? Like, that’s the whole like, ideology behind the US. Versus in Asia. That’s not how it is. You can’t just be out for number one, like you’re there to, you’re part of something bigger. And so the idea that you would make decisions that are good for you, but are going to have like negative consequences or negative reputational impact or whatever on those close to you or those in your community is unfathomable, versus like you try to explain how like bad that is to someone in Western culture? And they’re just like, I don’t get it. Like, why is this such a big deal? You know, I mean, it’s it’s so hard to reconcile with that, because they’re, it’s difficult to ever fully explain why it’s so important to us.

Jesse Lin 10:16
Yeah. And I want to go back to the thing last time, I was like how it reflects on other people in your community, like your choices. So generally, I feel like, you know, all parents everywhere care about how their children do, right? It’s how you are as a parent, but to what you were saying your point regarding the differences and how the choices of the child are attributed or not attributed to a parent. I feel like more so in Asian cultures, when you make a choice that’s not, let’s say, congruent to what the expectations are the parent takes it more personally, in the sense that they’re like, oh, like, what did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong with raising you or didn’t give you the right support or whatever like that you turned out this way that falls from the expectation? Versus I think for more, like westernized families in general, I think the parent will still have some kind of reaction, they’ll be like, oh, you know, like, you’re trying to be a rock star. Like, that’s kind of like, Nanyahh, but they’re gonna be like, disappointed that you made that choice, not disappointed in themselves, necessarily. And I’m sure you know, as I said, to each parent, there’s probably a little bit of that, but it’s definitely more pronounced, I think, in the Asian parents about really attributing the failures of their children to their own efforts.

Angela Lin 11:35
Yeah, I can’t agree more. I feel like it always goes back to the community versus individuality thing. But here in Western culture, it’s exactly what you’re saying. It’s like, yes, you had some impact on maybe like, the options that they had, or like the leanings that they had with interest or whatever. But ultimately, Western parents, assign more agency to their children and recognize that like, people make their own individual choices, regardless of like, environment and upbringing and whatever. So they, they don’t attribute it back to themselves fully. Versus Asian culture. It’s, you know, it’s, I think it’s two things. One is that, because of the whole idea of like, filial piety, and like respecting parents, respecting elders, parents are used to – Asian parents are used to having a greater sense of authority over their children and shaping who they become in life, because they’re more used to being able to tell you exactly what the fuck you’re gonna do with your life. You know, I mean? Like, there’s less, US pushing back, obviously, that’s changing with like, Western upbringings, and whatnot, but like, relatively speaking, an Asian kid in America versus like a white kid in America, Asian kids still gonna listen generally more to their parents than white kid. And so there’s like this level of control that they’re used to. So then if they feel like I have complete control over my child and the way that they’re brought up, then yeah, they are going to feel like completely responsible for the choices that you make, because they’re like, how could this go this way? I felt like I had like a tight rein on this, you know, I mean, so I think that’s part of it. And then the other part of it, it floated out of my brain. Now I’m remembering what I lost from my brain earlier, which is the other the other part of why Asian parents, it’s so deeply personal for them about like the choices that kids make and whatever is that because we have this idea of legacy in Asian culture, like you know, you come from a long bloodline of like, you can trace your family name back to like, 1000s of years ago, and there’s been this, like historical legacy tied to the Lin family or whatever, right. And so you’re part of something bigger. And when you do something that is disgraceful, it is bad on that legacy, and then bad on them. Because the way they see children is like, how they’re passing on their legacy, like you are the embodiment of their hopes and dreams for like, what they could not accomplish in their life. They’re passing on to the next iteration of them, which is the next like, step in the legacy. So if they are banking on you to fulfill everything they never got to do in their lifetime, and then you choose not to do the things they want it to do, then they’re like, what the hell, you know. So I, it’s, there’s so much pent up like, just like aspiration and hope that they’ve placed on you that I don’t know that Western parents place as much like they, of course, every parent has like hopes and dreams that like what their kids will end up doing. But because they recognize more that people are individuals who make their own choices, they’re not like, hey, kids gonna turn out how they’re going to turn out versus like, Asian parents are like, no, I have this dream for you, you’re gonna do it.

Jesse Lin 16:29
Yeah, sometimes I wonder if it’s just an immigrant thing. You know, like, if, when you’re coming from, you know, we’ve just talked about in the past, like, how just wildly different our parents lives were compared to their lives now. And so sometimes I wonder if that’s just, that’s just a gap that we always have to any immigrant has to bridge because you’re always coming here, with this life dream of fulfilling, you know, more than you had.

Angela Lin 16:56
I think that’s fair. But I think it still exists, because all you have to do is watch any, like Asian drama, to know that it still exists in Asia, because if it’s not about immigration, then it’s about moving up in socio economic, you know, the socio economic ladder. So like, you know, I had a food stall my whole life and was able to, like, support our family through this business, but I didn’t get to finish college. So I need my kids to finish college and like, have a white collar job. Or even if you’re rich, like, I mean Crazy Rich Asians is not real life, but like, they tapped on some, some legit element of Asian or Chinese culture, which is like, especially rich people, their most important thing is maintaining their legacy. So if they’ve already hit peak, they can’t fall down from peak. So they need to make sure that their kids like – they need their kids to like, take on what what they’ve built, right? So like, if it’s if it’s like, they’re the CEO of a multi million dollar, multi billion dollar Empire, whatever, and their kid is like, I don’t want to take on the family business, then it’s like, no, you’re not gonna reject this. You know? And like, who you’re gonna marry better be as good as like our socio economic class, because if not, you’re also gonna bring shame to us. So I think it exists everywhere in the Asian diaspora, including in Asia, but to different degrees. And I definitely agree with you that like the immigrants will always have like a very deep hopes and dreams because they made such a big sacrifice to change up their lives to come here. It just I think it exists in all different degrees everywhere, though. And so going back to like things that would also cause you to lose face. So yeah, starting from the default, right? So like, if you decided you didn’t wanna have kids at all, that’s fucking bad. Because, again, legacy, it’s all about passing down the blood, blood line,

Jesse Lin 18:55
Divorce, Divorce?

Angela Lin 18:56
Divorce. Yes. Which we’re talking about what Shibani and that’s certainly spans into South Asian culture. Yes. divorce.

Jesse Lin 19:04
Not dating in the race?

Angela Lin 19:06
Girl. Yes, I read that one I was so I had so much like pent up anxiety about introducing my parents to Ramon in the beginning, because I was like, even if he’s the most fantastic person out there, will you still feel ashamed just because he’s not Chinese. It’s like, everything that is a significant life choice. I would say – a career, relationship, a family, like all these big things, because those are the most important in their minds, and also the most likely to be bragged about or gossiped about, because that’s the opposite, right? If you’re not able to brag about it, people are probably gossiping about you, which just like brings even more shame to you because you’re being talked about negatively.

Jesse Lin 19:51
Yeah. And honestly, like sometimes I think about it, and I’m like, really the the part that’s missing if there was communication about the expectation I think it would have been a lot easier to navigate it. But because it’s always like unspoken, like what is desired? You’re always like, what exactly is it that you want? There’s no basis by which you can have a conversation about what those expectation looks like. Because it’s always like, uhhhh?

Angela Lin 20:16
Oh, I don’t know, I think some of those are communicated, like I was explicitly told career wise, like, you better make you better go into something that’s gonna, like, make a bunch of money. And by that, I mean, like two things, doctor, lawyer, businessmen like that. That’s kind of like it. And then marriage, like we talked about in the interracial episode, it was literally like, from when boys weren’t icky to me, they were like you better marry Chinese speaking person. And then, well, let’s let’s go into this, because I think it’s naturally flowing that way. But for me, the other one was when my brother came out as gay. They were like, okay, well, now you need to have kids, because you’re our only hope to pass down the like Lin family bloodline. So let’s get into that. Because you brought up, you know, you’re coming out, has certainly a topic related to saving face. What was that experience like? Not just coming out in general, but like, how did it relate to your concept of saving face that you were brought up on? And like, did it affect certain decisions that you made in terms of like, how you would tell when you would tell all that stuff.

Jesse Lin 21:33
I mean, it really did. Because when I was thinking about telling my parents, really only my mom knows at this point in time, but I was thinking about telling them. I wasn’t necessarily thinking about just how they would feel about it, but rather, what kind of pressure they would be under from their family and their community. And it’s not even necessarily that I’m thinking about, like, the pressure that they would put on my parents if they knew, but rather the pressure of keeping that secret from other people. And so even just a thought about thinking about coming out, you have to think about this wider group of people that your parents are entangled with. And whether or not holding that secret will make them miserable, basically. So it’s not just about their personal individual orientation towards how they would react on that news, but how they can manage that in themselves. And that’s why for a long time, I didn’t tell any of my neither of my parents because I was like, I don’t really need the support, like I’m comfortable with who I am, where I am, what I’m doing. And so what I was really waiting for was a moment where I felt like they were telling me that they were comfortable taking on this information, knowing that they have to manage it for this entire kind of community. And in fact, like, I think it was really hard for my mom, because she was like, oh, like, you know, she was telling me how she, she didn’t want me to tell my dad and she had to like manage it. She was like, I want to like try to figure out how to do this. And then for a long time, I don’t think she told anyone else either. Until recently, we had another conversation, I was like, feel free to tell whoever you want, like, I don’t care. But if it will make you feel better about it, to have someone to talk to you like that’s what I really wanted for her and not for her to feel so isolated from the community, because I am gay.

Angela Lin 23:34
Wow, that’s interesting, because it’s similar, but you focus on different aspects of saving face for your parents then I think my brother did when he came out. Well, first of all, I don’t think I gave him the choice so that we didn’t talk about those other episodes that he joined and he was nicer about framing it where he felt like Angela helped me with coming out? But the reality is that I was like, 12 at the time, and I didn’t understand why being gay was a big deal. And I essentially blabbed to my parents. I was like, Well, no, I didn’t say it outright, but I was just like, I was like, hinting at it. And then I was like, don’t you get it? And essentially, I outed him. And very innocently, frankly, because as a child, it literally was like, I didn’t see what the big deal was. And as a kid, I was just like, how could you have not told them yet? Like, this is so important, and like, it’s just who you are, like, let’s just share it. And so that’s, that’s how it came out. And so there was no choice, it’s for my parents to like, choose or not choose to hold this. So then it was really about mitigating the ripple effect onto everyone else. And I do remember the conversation that my mom had where she was just like you could tell she was like desperately trying to like figure out how to contain this like shame slash poison, I guess that she was seeing it as at the time, which is she was just like, well, you can’t we can’t tell anyone in the family like this has to say here, we’re not going to tell any of your aunts and uncles or cousins and like, I will die if my mom finds out like, you know, essentially, at the time, it was so drastic that she was like, I’m disowning you like, this is so shameful that I’m disowning, you, you’re not part of this family anymore. And of course, this is very, like, you know, impulse driven, and like, first reaction type stuff, because of all the shame that she had been brought up on, around the idea of homosexuality. So obviously, that’s not how she thinks now and they’re fine. My brother still lives with them so it’s considered, not disowned. But it really was, like, such an immediate, like, trickling out into so many layers of our, like, extended family, like, how do I contain this, and when, later when she was, like, you know, more used to the idea, and like, not to say that I don’t think they are ever going to be like, I love the idea that you’re gay, but they’ve accepted it to this, you know, at this point. And so sometimes my brother will kind of like stoke the fire, and he’ll be like, so can I tell, like, XYZ family member now? And she’d be like, no, you know what I mean, she’s just like, absolutely not. And he’s like, why not? It’s not a big deal. Like, who cares anymore? Because it’s, you know, he’s, he’s lived here long enough, where he’s like, you know, it doesn’t matter to me, and like, certainly everyone else in his life knows outside of like, our extended family. So he’s like, it’s not for me, it’s clearly for you. And like, I think what he grapples with is like, he feels restricted, because he’s like, I don’t feel like I get to live my full like, free self, because you’re telling me that I can’t, like tell these people in our family because of the shame that you feel because he doesn’t feel any shame or disgrace from it. So it’s interesting, because it’s the same topic. And there’s the same like fears, but it’s from like, a different angle, I think. Okay, so for all the strife and the, you know, agony that this idea of saving face and maintaining the you know, honor for your family has brought you and me and all Asian people in our lives, do you think there is any merit or benefit to maintaining this kind of concept in your current life, your future life and like, you know, if you just have kids or whatever it people you have impact influence over in the future? Do you think it’s worthwhile?

Jesse Lin 27:44
I think we should take out of the idea of saving face is that there’s definitely some kind of kindness, a courtesy to it, that I think is worth preserving. And where I think we can make it better is to really explain why that is important. Right? Like, as we were talking about earlier, it’s so hard to say why it is important. I think that’s part of the reason why it’s such a headache for a lot of for both of us and probably for a lot of other Asian Americans is that there is a there’s a place that it comes from where it’s you know, consideration and care about this person about your community. And where it can get better is to really just help each individual community member, person, your family, your child, whatever, understand why it is so important so that they have a better appreciation of like what you’re pushing for. Of course, I will caveat that with that I’ve never gonna put if I ever do have a child, I would never push them to do a thing that I want. But I will explain to them like, hey, I think you should do this thing. I think it’s important because of this, it has this personal significance for me. Do with that what you will, but you know, I’ve given you all the information about it.

Angela Lin 28:52
Yeah. Meanwhile, I think a dog is dying in your background, really terrific dog barking.

Jesse Lin 29:00
Sorry. There always is. There’s a few few pups in the building. What about you?

Angela Lin 29:45
I agree with you completely. I think well first what I’ll latch on to strongly is that I completely agree that the part that’s worth saving is the compassionate part where you are being considerate of other people and thinking about how your consequences impact other people. I think that’s just compassion and empathy. And that’s very important to me. And something that I think is worthwhile passing on, even outside of this concept. But it’s so tied to why this concept is important. What I think we can do away with is the root of where this comes from, which is shame and disgrace, right, those ideas, those super negative ideas, because I think what drives people to preserve your face save face, is the desire to avoid shame. It’s a fear of succumbing to this like super negative thing. And so you’re desperately trying to run away from this negative thing. So you’re going to be good to avoid the negative consequence, as opposed to just being good, because you know, you’re doing good for other people. So I think if I were to pass on this concept, it would not be framed the same way it would be framed in terms of like, hey, why don’t we think about, like, when we make choices, and when we perform actions in life, think outside yourself, I think that’s the kind of big takeaway is like, you can still make your own choices and like, you weigh the pros, cons and like the impacts and whatever. And still, you can still choose to do stuff that might have some negative impact on other people. Sure. But like, at least you thought about it, right? Versus like, I think in America, there is maybe a two extreme world where like, there’s so much YOLO and like DGAF, like, you know, just out for yourself that there isn’t enough emphasis on other people. Well, first of all, we just to be transparent, we fucked up and our fortune cookie closing section was supposed to be about it, if this was something that we want to pass on, but we kind of rolled it into the merits and benefits oopsies. So I think another one that another topic that we thought about potentially discussing to close this off is, if a decision that we’ve made in the past that was tied to wanting to save face actually turned out good for us. And Jesse was just mentioning to me off off the record that it’s difficult, because a lot of our decisions in life are tied to saving face, because it’s constantly in the back of our heads. But I’m just thinking back to it, like big decisions in my life, I guess. And for me, I think one of the ones that did have a strong lasting impact is when I was 15. Right? I was like, I saw my first band. And I was like, I want to work in music. Like I want to work in the music industry. And if I don’t think if I were Asian, and like, and was thinking about, like how I could still salvage this passion that I wanted to go after with something that could be packaged up in a nice, like, Asian approved package, I don’t think I would have gone to business school. Because the way that I had to justify going into a career in music was that I would get a business degree. And then like intern in at record labels and stuff so that I could pursue what I wanted. But I could justify that with like, while she went to NYU Stern, like it’s so it’s fine. So then, then I wasn’t bringing as much disgrace in my family because my mom could always say like, well, she’s going to like one of the best business schools in America, like, you can latch on to the part that sounds good to her. But I could do the thing I wanted. And so I was good for that, because I didn’t bring shame to her right away. But also for me, because realistically, like I don’t know, if I was just like when I go to music, and I was just like, I’m just going to like, I don’t know, tailgate concerts and like, try to like squeeze my way in there without like getting a degree. I don’t, I don’t know if I’d be where I am now. Because obviously like I don’t currently work in music. It’s the idea of working in entertainment still part of my life. But it’s not like music industry is not my my thing. So maybe if I didn’t have the business degree, I wouldn’t have been able to pivot later into other things. Because if my entire skill set was like related to the music industry and like hands on experience, and I never got that education. I probably couldn’t transition into other things as easily.

Jesse Lin 34:46
That’s a good one.

Angela Lin 34:48
Yeah, how about you?

Jesse Lin 34:49
I think, you know, I play piano for a lot of my life. I really want to get back into it. I feel like it really made me smart. And now when I look at a piano I’m like, holy crap, I’m so stupid like, I can feel my brain trying to be like c, d. e, f, g like. But yeah, I think a lot of the pressure and the not wanting to to encounter the shame actually helped me develop good habits. I think my parents really tried to push me to excel here and, you know, packing on the little bit of disappointment when they’re like, you go to a recital and you’re like in the middle of the thing and you’re like oops, I don’t remember how to play the rest of it. That really helped, like, kick me into trying to practice more and like, really just be more into it, because I was already doing it. And so I definitely do from that perspective feel like it helped me develop musically in a way that I probably would not have by myself, because I’m lazy.

Angela Lin 35:51
And you said, though, that you think that’s translated into in general how you approach adopting good habits,

Jesse Lin 35:58
In general, in adopting good habits? I feel like Yes, because now I know that I have to force myself to stick to something – the interest is not enough. The interest is not enough, and this seems like pretty obvious to most people. But for me, I’ve always been like, oh, if I’m interested enough in it, I’ll do it. It’s not true. It needs to be interested in like two weeks of consistent, like, grinding my face to the thing. And then I’m like, Alright, I’m here. I’m here.

Angela Lin 36:25
Well, there you have it, there’s some good to influenced by the idea of saving face. And so if you listeners have your own experience about how the foundational concept of saving face has impacted your life, for good or for, for better or for worse, write us in because I think we’re really interested to hear how this idea has kind of trickled into other people’s lives. And as you know, we’re always soliciting listener submitted stories for our reflections episodes. So do write us in at telluswhereyourefrom@gmail.com that you’re is Y-O-U-R-E, we’re very eager to read your stories.

Categories
Uncategorized

How Are Eastern And Western Medicine Connected?


Angela Lin 0:20
Today we have a special guest, my old roommate and really close friend and doctor, Sandeepa. Hello.

Jesse Lin 0:30
Whoo.

Sandeepa 0:31
Hi. Thanks for having me.

Angela Lin 0:34
Thanks for joining us. We will, I’ll introduce the topic and then I want to introduce you. The reason we have Sandeepa on today is the topic we want to cover is kind of East meets West in terms of medicine. And I felt like Sandeepa would be a perfect guest because she’s a Western trained doctor, but is very spiritual, and we’ve had some spiritual journeys together that we’ll probably get into. So anyways, I felt like you’d have a really balanced approach to this topic. So we wanted to have you on. But let’s give our listeners a little intro. Introduce yourself however you’d like. And then when you feel comfortable if you could throw in your answer for but where are you really from?


Full Transcript (Note: Transcribed via AI, may contain errors)


Sandeepa 1:30
My name is Sandeepa Mullady. Weird now that I’m married new last name. I am a neurologist by training. And I’m currently a memory and aging fellow. So I focus on dementia in particular. And I’m from San Francisco. That’s my home base right now. In terms of where am I really from, the sass answer is, oh, the South Bay. And they go, Oh, South Bay of India? And I’m like, somewhere somewhere around there. But no, my parents grew up in Chennai. So I am actually technically from the South Bay in India as well.

Angela Lin 2:14
You keep it vague.

Sandeepa 2:16
Exactly. So not lying either way. And now with this new last name, I’ve actually gotten emails being like, are you sure your last name is Mullady? And I’m like, Oh, yeah, I’m positive.

Angela Lin 2:27
Are you sure? Oh, and maybe you need to give your little disclaimer before?

Sandeepa 2:34
Oh, we I definitely should. So all my opinions are my own. I’m going deaffiliate them with my institution. I work at UCSF currently.

Angela Lin 2:45
Well, we’re very happy to have you on. So thank you for joining us. Okay, so I think we wanted to kick it off by kind of setting the stage of like, the history behind the lesser known portion of this medical world for most people, which is probably the Eastern or, well, Eastern is also like a kind of loaded way of describing the more like, non traditional medicine as well, because I think most people when they hear Eastern medicine, they think of Chinese medicine, because it’s the most like widely popularized, probably, and I think a little bit more accepted by Western medicine as well. But East depending on how you define that there’s also like South Asian, very ancient medicine as well. So I think we can give a little bit of like, history, but not too deep, and some kind of overview of the Chinese side of it. And then not that you were an expert necessarily on South Asian medicine, but I think we’d be curious, the way that like your family, you know, has talked about it or any experience that you’ve had with that growing up, if they, you know, integrate it into any sort of the way that they look at, you know, medical practices and whatnot. So starting on the Chinese side, so I looked it up, much like everything in Chinese history, it’s been around forever. So the first recorded history of Chinese medicine was in the third century BCE, so a gazillion years ago. And it’s weird because I was trying to find like the origins and the like recorded history is tied to this script. That was attributed to someone named Huang-Di in Chinese but it’s like Yellow Emperor, literally Yellow Emperor. It’s confusing because there’s another phrase that sounds exactly the same Huang-Di, which just means Emperor but this one specifically like yellow Emperor’s, but I think he’s not maybe a real person because from what I found, it was like he was revered as a deity, but he was also supposedly like one of the first emperors of China, very confusing, but anyways, first Chinese medicine written down, you know, was apparently dialogue between him and his physician. And a lot of those practices are kind of the foundational bases of current Chinese medicine. But I think what’s skip past history? I think what’s more interesting about Chinese medicine versus like Western medicine is the approach that they take for looking at treating patients, which is more preventative than like, diagnostic, right? It’s like, they’re not waiting for something to be broken to treat people, they’re trying to just like, maintain holistic health. So actually, it’s interesting because Ramon recently had a medical situation, and we were looking into how to help his situation more naturally. And I was asking my parents about like, well, is there any, like Chinese herbal medicine or something that you can take to help the pain or whatever, and they were like, honestly, you don’t fix things with Chinese medicine. Like it’s, if something’s already broke, like, you gotta go fix that with uh, you know, Western stuff. And then the Chinese stuff can like, help strengthen it and like, make your whole system stronger. So yeah, the idea around Chinese medicine is really like maintaining the balance between the you know, your chi or your know your energy, your life, breath in throughout your body, and like keeping shit yeah, balanced so that if something’s out of whack is when something will appear broken, or like messed up, which you’ll then have to address through other means. But I just thought that was interesting, because it’s more like, you know, I think in the western context, we always think of medicine as like, last resort, it’s like, okay, I don’t think about needing medicine until something’s wrong with me versus this is like a daily kind of thing to help maintain a well balanced, healthy life.

It’s interesting, that’s very similar to South Asian, I think medicine as well. I mean, to give a little intro, I think, ayurveda, which is the Big South Asian, Eastern medicine practice, was founded, maybe like, third century also BCE, even before then. But people it’s unclear because it’s a lot of oral tradition as well. In the older Indian times, there was sort of this idea that people had to become specialists in something. So there was people who specialized as warriors, people who specialized in trade. And there were similarly people who specialized in medicine. And Ayurveda was that form of like sort of oral medicine that was bought brought to like the kingly traditions back back in the day. I think the first written document might have been closer to first century BCE. Don’t quote me on that. But that’s sort of what I’ve read as well. Similar to Chinese medicine, it’s all about balance and maintaining homeostasis. So Indians call it kaptha, vatha, pitha. So basically, those three life forces are representative of like fire, air and earth. And it’s about maintaining a balance between that in your body. It’s very fascinating because you actually see Ayurvedic doctors listen to your pulse. And they believe they can feel the life force of each pulse. And they can tell you which of your sort of energy forces are out of balance, and they say that is the one you need to work on as well. So it’s all about preventative medicine as well. So it deals a lot with nutrition, exercise, mental health, and spirituality, as well as a big part of Ayurvedic medicine is how do you heal the mind, the body and the soul? Because all of those are interlinked. And if two of those are broken, one of those is going to be broken as well. Similarly, once things are broke, there’s nothing really to fix fix it. There’s like herbs that they recommend as more of a preventative measure. And sometimes even like heavy metals, which is why it’s gotten a bad rap in western medicine is because some of these heavy metals when take in high amounts can be toxic. But what a lot of Ayurvedic doctors say is once there’s an imbalance, you have to treat that with Western medicine, and then slowly wean yourself off of that with Eastern medicine. So it’s a very similar practice as well, but the idea is hopefully, your body you’re maintaining your body in such a fashion that you never need Western medicine.

Can you explain the heavy metals thing a little bit more, because I read that and I was very confused of like what that was supposed to be doing.

Sandeepa 10:10
I think it’s this whole idea like India is like, loves pure metals, heavy metals. So like for instance, we cook a lot of our food and copper pots, because you know, like copper, and these metals are supposed to bring the life force of the earth around them. And so some of these herbs are like cooked or mashed in some of these like gold pots or copper pots, which in high amounts, for sure can be toxic but in low amounts, we actually need copper and stuff daily to maintain like, a good homeostasis metabolism as well.

Angela Lin 12:00
Okay, well, I love that there’s so much similarity between them. And it sounds like ayurvedic is even older than Chinese medicine, but the pulse thing is interesting, because when I was looking up, like how do Chinese medicine doctors like, assess a patient and pulse is one of the main ones as well. It’s just it’s really, really kind of wild. To me, the idea that you could get so much information just from someone’s pulse versus like, when you go to a Western doctor and they take your pulse. It’s not like you’re not expecting any like mind blowing revelations from that they’re just like, you’re dead, or you’re alive or

Sandeepa 12:43
No, it’s true. I think in western medicine, we have such high end diagnostics, right, like we have the EKG, we have the echocardiogram. But you know, as a neurologist, for instance, I just look at the monitor to see that their heart is going I don’t sometimes necessarily even take the time to listen to the heart, because for me, the neurologic exam is perhaps what’s more important, but cardiologists swear, and this is where specialty by specialty differs. But you listen to the pulse, you know, you can like hear the arrhythmia, you can hear the murmur. And based off of that, depending on where that murmur is, they’re saying they say, oh, okay, you have a systolic murmur, perhaps, you know, part of your ventricle is hypertrophied or something like that. So there is that practice, but then practice I think, has become less reliable, or perhaps less taught in the setting of new diagnostics.

Angela Lin 13:42
Hmm. Interesting. And to your point about specialists, maybe our regular encounters with doctors usually are like a general practitioner, like, you know, the default doctors, and maybe they’re not as trained and that kind of,

Yeah, and that thing, because like a general exam is so much different, like a neurological exam. And this is where my bias comes in. Like, the reason why I like it is that you can see like a mild drift in the arm and you say, Aha, that person has something called the pronator drift. That’s an upper motor neuron sign, there’s something probably wrong in like the spine or brain, most likely brain, you know. And so you’re able to sort of pinpoint a localization, and it’s almost like the MRI, and then you decide, do I need an MRI? Do I need to look at the nerves? Do I need to look at the spine, you’re able to pinpoint the localization of the problem and from there, you can get to radiology. So it’s one of the, I think, last few specialties where the exam actually tells you what’s going on, which is, I think, a dying practice in a lot of medicine.

It is really cool to see you or to hear about your way of diagnosing things because it is not what I’m used to saying when I go to like, you know, urgent care or whatever. Just like I I didn’t know something’s wrong with me to figure it out. I feel like they just asked the same 20 questions. And then at the end, they’re still like, I don’t really know what it could be like, just to be safe let me prescribe you three different things and like, we’ll find out whatever it is, like, okay, that didn’t seem very precise at all. Okay.

Sandeepa 15:18
Yeah, I think urgent, if Western medicine were a band aid, Urgent Care would be like the adhesive on that band aid, you know, it’s like, it’s basically being like, how can I patch things to the minimal degree before they see a specialist or primary care doctor and get some of that workup going, and urgent care will never give you refills of a medication because they don’t know what the treating, necessarily, but it’s when you go to the, you know, primary care doctors, which are now by the way being labeled as preventative doctors as well. So it’s coming back into practice, and specialists that you get, okay, what what is the exam? And what do we what do these tests tell you about what this person has? But sometimes when we’re healthy? We obviously luckily, don’t go through that entire process.

Angela Lin 16:06
Yeah, trust me, I don’t know about you. But ever since moving away for college, like post college, I haven’t had a regular doctor.

Jesse Lin 16:15
Yeah, I generally see the same doctor, but you don’t get a lot of time to talk with the doctor. Like it’s really brief. And I feel like maybe some of the reason why a lot of things are missed is because you don’t build a rapport with the doctor. So then you like some people may not be comfortable saying all the things that they want to say to like a complete stranger.

Angela Lin 16:35
Yeah, and it’s interesting. And it goes both ways as well, right? Because the doctor, if you’re a primary care specialist, say in Kaiser, or when I was at the general doing general neurology care, I would have sometimes 10 patients in the span of four hours, you know, so and some of them are double booked, or sometimes I’d have 12. And I’m double booking people, just because they’re from low income communities, and we’re trying to get as much people in as possible. And that means less dedicated time. And so when I, you know, I feel less comfortable telling people what’s going on, I end up seeing them more frequently, because I’d rather give them more time more frequently than less time once in a while, you know, but then there’s certain questions as a physician that you need rapport to ask, for instance, stroke specialists, like similar to cardiologist, the thing that prevents stroke, right is weight reduction, exercise, good eating habits. And those are things that in today’s society have become very, very sensitive topics. You know, it’s very hard in the doctor’s office talk about weight. Because we, you know, we’re in a society where, you know, healthy at every size is a thing, which is, which is fair, but sometimes, you know, weight needs to be addressed to reduce your risk of certain things. And so it’s about talking about that gently. But sort of the data shows the more you talk about it in the doctor’s office, the more likely one message at some point is going to kick in, right. So it’s sort of the antagonism of, Oh, God, I don’t know this person well enough yet, to like, have these more difficult conversations, but you have to, in order to make sort of, maybe an iota of change in the future visit?

Well, alright, let’s transition maybe. So one thing we want to talk about, I think it’s already pretty clear based on what we’ve already discussed, but the kind of like, the intermingling of the two in terms of like, just because Chinese medicine or ayurvedic medicine exists and people practice it doesn’t mean that they like negate science, right? They’re like, definitely, like, I still got to see you my like, regular doctor, and to what we were all saying, If something’s broke, I’m gonna go to that doctor. And then I’ll maintain with, you know, the more holistic stuff, I think, maybe I’m just painting like a fake picture or fake narrative here, but I feel like people that aren’t as familiar with Eastern medicine, maybe don’t understand that, or they feel like it’s kind of like shamanic or like, you know, witch doctory type stuff. And there’s like a segregation between the two. I don’t know if you guys have that feeling, too. Because for me, it feels like if I’m talking especially to like a non Asian person, that’s not as like, SF hippie, you know? Like, I can see them kind of being like, oh, what, like acupuncture or like, what do you drinking? What’s that soup? You know, like, as if we don’t believe in normal medicine just because we also have those things. I don’t know if you’ve had those experiences.

I think it’s actually becoming more integrated into Western practice, and weird way. When I first started back, I want to say in college than the pre med path, there was almost this antagonism. And they’re like, oh, there’s the allopathic way. Then there’s the non allopathic way. And there was almost a split. And as I’m going deeper and deeper into medicine, I actually see that some of these principles are coming back. And they’re saying, oh, there’s like a way of doing both. You don’t do one, which is fair, you do both. So like for people with migraines, or chronic pain, for example, acupuncture is a treatment that we can offer. And we say, hey, some people respond really well to this. We don’t know why. But it works for certain people, you know, yeah. And that’s it, and they go for it. And some people only need that Eastern medicine practice, they’re able to wean off their opiates, good. Good on them. I don’t think that’s anything bad. So I think the practice is coming around. I know in San Francisco, we have like an OSHA Medical Center, which is like an integrative medical Medical Center and introduces things like meditation, mindfulness, which is I think, the more Western way of saying spiritualism, because it’s easier conceptualization of it into practices like pain and into childhood diseases where kids are dealing with death, based on that’s something that has been integrated quite nicely, I think.

The the mindset part, I feel like is so underrated for how much your brain can control, like, how you feel and how you perceive pain, or health or happiness. So I’m really happy that, you know, like you said, that like, meditation is like the easiest way in, I guess, for people that aren’t super connected to spirituality, but I am happy that there’s some type of like integration that people are trying to make. Now, I still think it’s gonna be like, hard for majority of people, like I think we’re coastal people, right? Like California, New York is like a different level than the rest of the nation. But hopefully, this is something that we can start integrating more just because the mental health of it all is like one of the worst things happening in the country right now that we’re not like grasping very well, yeah.

Oh, for sure. We have, I think, a mental health, pandemic and epidemic, and that has been going on for decades. And what’s interesting is, as society becomes, quote, unquote, more evolved, that’s when more mental health problems are happening. I was recently listening to a podcast where one in four kids are contemplating suicide. That’s insane to me, you know, that’s like 25% of children. So just like we have this model of like, you have to exercise your body every day. To maintain your body, we need to have a similar thing. We’re like, hey, your mind needs exercise, too. And I think to broaden it, it doesn’t just have to be meditation, right? It’s about how do we live every day, in the in between of happiness and sadness, where big, big happy things don’t get to us, we feel them. But we say, ah, we can let it go and go back to this equilibrium. And sad things don’t get to us in the sense that we feel them. But we go back to this equilibrium. So even if you approach an everyday situation, and I think and retrain your brain, how to respond to said situation, almost like exposure therapy, if we even if we can even call it that, you’re in a way training your mind. So I think that is a way that Western medicine can integrate that spiritualism without calling it spiritualism. You know, it’s about tricking people into spirituality, and what is spirituality? It’s just living life in the median in the equilibrium.

Jesse Lin 23:54
It’s so interesting that you mentioned that because I recently, and maybe a few months ago, had a conversation with my coworker. And I told him that I was taking up doing like a meditation using this app called Calm because things have been really crazy. And I just needed, like, some time to really just clear my brain. And he was just like, I’m so busy all the time. I don’t have time to do like nothing. He’s like, how do you do it? And I’m like, that’s kind of the point. Like the point is, like, you set boundaries, so that you can have the time for yourself to do nothing so that your brain can be clear. And yeah, it was just like a very different from what you were saying in terms of equilibrium. Like I feel like a lot of people are, are really far away from that and really don’t realize that they are.

Angela Lin 24:40
Yeah, I think there’s a standard in Western society, that everything needs to be happy, or everything needs to be perfect, right? And the sad truth about life is life is not always happy. Life is not always perfect. And if you have that expectation, you’re never going to be happy, right? I’ve always If your goal is happiness, that happiness will never come. But if your goal is to, to live life where, hey, nothing is going to affect me no matter what it is, you’re going to actually be happy in a in a really weird frame of mind. So, so yeah, it’s all about that mental game and that mental training at the end of the day.

Well, since your specialty is neurology, and you are, you’re arguably probably one of the most spiritual people that I know. You know, personally, I’m curious how you combine those two worlds in your kind of day to day and I mean, I guess from two facets, one is how you approach patients and the other is more just like how you find that balance for yourself between being trained in this like very Western clinical setting, and then melding like that with your very spiritual, just like personal side of things.

Yeah, it’s interesting, right? Because neurology, in my mind is all about the hardware, if that makes sense. Like we learn about the brain, the structure, the networks, the software is not really focused on or it’s, there’s an artificial division between neurology and psychiatry, where the neurologists focus on the structure the hardware, and the psychiatrists, well, well, they’ll focused on the on the software, the, you know, the things that we don’t, we can’t see, that’s very artificial, because what affects the structure affects things internally that we’re not quite able to comprehend. Right? So if you talk to many neurologists, some will say I just like the fact it’s so clean, there’s a bomb, there’s something wrong in the structure, and boom, you get something wrong in the body. But in my mind, neurology is where I’m reminded of spiritualism and like how complex the mind is, because you get, say, a structural lesion, or say, a cut in the brain, and something happens physically, but the person’s personality, and the way they perceive the world changes as well. So it sort of reminds you that the mind is a complex network, where not just emotions live, but sort of a higher plane of existence, can can live right? Why I find dementia so interesting, is sometimes those people are losing, they’re losing their memory, they’re losing their minds. Where is the higher plane of existence in those individuals, you know, that that that question has, is always fascinated me, I think it’s there. Because there’s, there’s a higher plane in everybody but that that lower plane of physical existence is no longer able to connect with that plane, I think that’s what neurology is about is seeing the differences in those planes of existence, you know. So in terms of how I approach my patients, I’ve seen people with what we call non epileptic seizures, which are convulsions that happen in the body, not because of a structural problem. But because the software has run amok. And it presents us something that looks like an actual epileptic spell, but it’s not right. So I’ve had to tell people, hey, one, what you’re experiencing is completely real, because it’s happening to you. But two, we don’t have the tools to detect what’s going on in the software, of that of your ecosystem. And the way to train that is by focusing on techniques that deal with the mind, including cognitive behavioral therapy, and making sure we deal with ways to, you know, explore your traumas and anxiety. So that’s where I’m able to bring that sort of into Western practice. And I think, for me, personally, you know, Indian tradition, or spiritualism, in general has different ways that one attains that equilibrium. One of those ways is called Karma Yoga, which is the ability to have that sort of equilibrium in your work. And I think, for me, being in medicine is like, doing God’s work in a way where I’m able to see myself in every patient, or at least I try to, you know, and I say, oh, my God, that person could be me, that person is me that person is me. And that, that unity in that human experience, humbles you in the sense that none of your problems seem so bad when they happen. And all of your successes also seem great, but not, but not like the most impressive thing in the world. So it reminds me to maintain that equilibrium state. And it also brings me to a place of love and compassion, which I think is necessary to to understand that unity between human existence.

So, going into our fortune cookie closing sections, what we call our closing because we like to end on a sweet treat. So we want to close things off with the most. And this is probably this adjective I’m going to use is probably from the western lens, because we grew up here, but the most like insane or out there Eastern medicine thing that we have, respectively tried, I can offer my own to kick things off. So I honestly my parents kind of had me do everything in Chinese medicine when I was younger, like in high school. But the thing that I was like this is killing me is they took me to an acupuncturist every week to fix many things, supposedly, well, I think the main reason was to help with my running injuries and my trying to get my hormones more like balanced. But then they were also like, oh, you’re also short, we can probably make you taller, too. Like that seems not real to me. But okay. But I went like every week and what people don’t talk about because Jesse you were talking about like acupuncture is like very popular now, like a lot of non Asian people do it. But I don’t know how many non Asian people do this type of acupuncture where I was, like, I hate this is he would hook me up, he would put the needles in me, but then hook them up to an electro magnetic thing that would like pulse for an hour. And it felt really weird. And he was like, Oh, it’s not pain. It’s just a different feeling. I’m like, Don’t try to tell me what is painful. Just really bizarre, but I think it was because I mean in doing research for this episode. It’s like it was the meridians, right, like certain points where the the chi is supposed to be residing. Yeah. So it was reflecting back. I guess he wouldn’t call it pain, but it wasn’t a pleasant feeling. And it would be like pulsing every you know, every other second for a full hour. And I was doing that for weeks on end. And I was like, I hate this guy was like my least favorite day of the week.

Sandeepa 32:47
Did it work?

Angela Lin 32:47
No, it didn’t work, either.

Sandeepa 32:50
What was it supposed to do again?

Angela Lin 32:52
Well, he was trying to fit many things. I think that was the problem. I was trying to do too many things like maybe if he was just focusing on like, I was getting frequent shin splints from running cross country and track. So maybe if he just focused on like the muscle part of it, that probably would have worked, but he was also trying to fix my hormones that didn’t do anything

Jesse Lin 33:10
Your height –

Angela Lin 33:11

  • that’s height did shit because I haven’t grown since sixth grade, let’s be real. So yeah, so anyways, I I think I’m open to trying acupuncture again now because I’ve it’s been like 20 years or whatever, but I was not a fan. At least like that method and the like, suppose it you know, he was promising too much like it was not realistic what he was going to achieve.

Jesse Lin 33:39
Well, you know, it’s funny that you mentioned that the did the stim thing because in physical therapy, they do do that. Not with needles, but they put like patches on you and they do electro stim. So I guess there’s some usefulness to that. But the needles were probably a little bit overkill. Honestly, I think my parents are probably same thing. They fed me like a bunch of weird stuff. So I can’t even tell you like What’s the weirdest thing that they fed me, but I want to say like the oddest thing that I’ve personally tried is getting getting a chiropractor. And then it was like, not that weird. It’s like very popular now. And like most insurances covered it. But I was like, really skeptical for a long time, because it’s like, it looks like that person could literally like snap my neck accidentally. Because it’s like, the YouTube videos are just like, whoa. And so like, I did it for a while, and it was like fine, but it was the same thing with acupuncture. Like it didn’t really help at all. It was just like, oh, that feels nice. But then it was like, like in terms of the actual issue that I came to address a PT like they didn’t really help it all that much.

Sandeepa 34:45
Can I just say chiropractors scare me? Like the whole neck thing scares me because we have like these like, really important vessels that go to the brain right near the neck. And I’ve seen strokes from really bad chiropractic manipulations of your neck. This is where my like, the western part of me is. I don’t know about that

Angela Lin 35:05
Jesse don’t go anymore

Jesse Lin 35:09
I have it I go only to I go to like a very, like legit physical therapy office now.

Sandeepa 35:15
Oh, yeah, not on your neck neck is like a bad place to get any sort of manipulation done. Yeah. Let’s see crazy things I’ve done. Well, I think so we’ve gone to a lot of Ayurvedic like, specialists over time. And one of the issues growing up is like, my parents thought I had a very poor metabolism, aka, I was a fat child. So like, we must take her to the doctor to figure out what’s going on the ayurvedic doctor. And he he listened to my pulse and all sorts of things and was like she has thyroid issues. And she needs to take a herb and it’ll kick in years later took said herbs. Anyway, years down the line in medical school, I got my thyroid levels measured. I do have autoimmune thyroid issues. I had like hashimotos thyroid, like thyroid Yeah, basically like an autoimmune disease, where I have hypothyroidism, which I’m now on like, like daily repletion for basically my thyroid hormones. I tried that herb. It probably didn’t work. But it was great. My family was like, yeah, we believe this guy. It seems like you have thyroid issues. And I was like, there’s no way. And we went to a Western pediatrician. And he was like, No, you can’t diagnose thyroid issues. And then, you know, years later, I did.

Angela Lin 36:49
Whoa, the cure wasn’t maybe the cure, but the diagnosis is correct.

Sandeepa 36:54
Yeah, man, a very weird way. It goes to show you can fix what’s broke, perhaps already or wasn’t apparent at that time, because I leveled out and I became like a normal looking kid. So they were like, oh, maybe this doctor was wrong.

Interesting.

Jesse Lin 37:11
All right. Well, thank you for joining us Sandeepa. Do you have any projects or anything you want to plug for our listeners?

Sandeepa 37:20
No, I have. I have zero projects at all. But I’m open to come and chat with me in San Francisco. A lot of my work is in homeless populations and in underserved populations and figuring out how to get them good care. So come chat, open the chat with you guys about spirituality, homelessness, social justice issues, medicine. Or just take you out to my favorite San Francisco coffee. No projects though.

Angela Lin 37:52
Awesome. Well, thank you so much, Sandeepa, and listeners if you have any questions for her, email us at telluswhereyourefrom@gmail.com the you’re is Y-O-U-R-E or if you have a story of your own about Eastern versus Western medicine, definitely write us in as well. And we will have a fresh new episode for you next week.